


Beauty and the Beast: Part 2, Explicit

by aphrael33



Series: Beauty and the Beast [2]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Actual game quotes, Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cunnilingus, Drug Use, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fellatio, Ghouls, Goodneighbor, I feel like we have an actual relationship, I'm obsessed with Hancock, Multi, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Surgery, Secrets, Shameless Smut, Showers, Tags Are Hard, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex, no seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-07-28 18:51:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 68,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16247711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphrael33/pseuds/aphrael33
Summary: Hancock, handsome and dangerous ghoul mayor of Goodneighbor, and Susan, the Sole Survivor of Vault 111, are back together again after several weeks apart. On her 90th day in the Commonwealth, Susan has returned to Goodneighbor and finally told Hancock her secret, and his response was everything she could have hoped for. Hancock is ready to show Susan what he has to offer. But can their feelings for each other survive the reality of the Commonwealth?





	1. "I Can Be Gentle"

**Author's Note:**

> 90 days in the Commonwealth, continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan gets a big surprise from Hancock that she never could have imagined. It makes it easy to show him how much she appreciates everything he’s done for her. They spend some time getting to know each other better.

Susan sat cuddled up with Hancock, the ghoul mayor of Goodneighbor, on a red couch in the VIP room at the Third Rail. The chatter in the room washed over her without touching her, as if she was palm tree in a storm. The only thing she could think about was the conversation she’d finally had with him about her medical condition. Why had she fretted so much? His reaction made her feel like anything was possible. 

His words echoed in her mind. I can be gentle, Hancock had said. I know how to take it slow. Susan shivered. 

“You cold, sunshine?” Hancock asked her, rubbing her arm, and she marveled at how perceptive he was, how solicitous. She wouldn’t have credited him with it at their first meeting, but she knew him better now. 

“Not cold,” Susan said. How could she be cold with Hancock’s warm arm wrapped around her? Then she yawned.

“Tired?” he asked with a chuckle. “You bout ready to get outta here?” 

“Yeah,” she said immediately, trying not to sound too eager.

Hancock stood up and helped her to her feet. The crowd in the Third Rail had mostly dispersed, and it was easy for them to get out, unlike earlier. At least she didn’t have to worry about what they were all thinking. She was fairly certain everyone in Goodneighbor thought they had gone back to the State House a few hours ago for a quickie, anyway. 

Frankly, she couldn’t care less what anyone thought. 

They stepped out into the calm night. Susan moved to go left, to the State House entrance they usually used, but Hancock stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Hold up, doll,” he said. “I got a surprise for you.” He drew her off to the right, toward the entrance to Goodneighbor. Confused but willing to trust him, she followed. 

When they got around to Kill or Be Killed, the weapons shop run by Kleo, an assaultron programmed with a female personality, Hancock led her inside, released her hand, and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “Heya Kleo,” he greeted the robot. 

“Good evening, Mayor Hancock. Good evening, Susan,” Kleo responded in her mechanically sultry voice. 

“Hey Kleo.” Susan looked over to her power armor. Kleo had been kind enough to let her keep the set of armor in her shop when she visited Goodneighbor. She didn’t like to leave it out of her sight at all, especially without removing the fusion core to reduce the chances it would be stolen, but she felt comfortable with it under the protection of a deadly assaultron robot who never slept. She looked back over at Hancock, a quizzical look on her face.

“You wanna tell her or should I?” he said to the robot. 

“A girl doesn’t like to be kept waiting,” Kleo replied musically. Susan smiled and raised her eyebrow at Hancock, crossing her arms and tapping her foot with mock impatience.

“Go up the stairs, sunshine,” he said, moving away from where he had been leaning on the wall. She shrugged and complied. The stairs, she knew, had led up into a small room where Kleo had her computer terminal and not much else. At the top of that flight of stairs, though, there was a second set heading up that was definitely new. The wood was still golden instead of faded to gray. Her eyebrows went up again and she looked at Hancock. “Keep goin’ up,” he said, and Susan could tell he was enjoying this just a bit too much.

At the top, there were walls where none had existed before. The entire structure seemed to have had an overhaul. When she reached the third story, there was just a tiny landing and she had to turn around. A closed door was directly in front of her, and she looked at Hancock and gestured at it with her chin, a question. He nodded and she opened it, and something about the smug expression on his face made her heart beat faster. 

Inside, there was a narrow hallway with another closed door to her left. Susan ignored the door at first because she could see clearly into the rest of the enclosed space. She noted the newly spackled walls, the bed with fresh linen, the somewhat shabby but clean couch opposite, making best use of the small space. She took in the chessboard, the books, the kitten painting, and the lantern. It felt… Cozy. She felt a hitch in her chest at how comfortable it all felt to her.

To hide her confused reaction, she turned to the unopened door. Inside there was a clean toilet, a sink, and… Her mouth opened a little in surprise. “Is that a shower?” Susan gasped. 

“Yeah,” Hancock rasped. “It ain’t that hot cuz there ain’t a heater, but the tank’s on the roof so it gets pretty warm when the sun’s shinin’.” 

Susan shook her head in disbelief. She turned to face him. “This is amazing,” she said, still shaking her head, but a genuine smile came to her face. “I can’t believe how much Goodneighbor has changed. It thrills me to think I might have been a part of that. Thank you for showing me this. It’s incredible. Like a little slice of the time before the war.”

“I’m glad you like it, doll,” Hancock said. “Because it’s yours.”

She froze. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we got it all fixed up for you. It belongs to you.”

Susan looked around again, quickly. “You can’t be serious.” 

“Kleo don’t use any of this space. And you wouldn’t believe how many people were happy to chip in an’ help. I barely had to lift a finger,” Hancock said. 

Susan took in the shower, the chessboard, the books piled to the side of her bed, and knew he was lying. She gave him a crooked smile. “Bullshit,” she said finally. “How much time have you actually spent up here?”

Hancock looked at her in amazement and shook his head. “Doll, nobody likes having their mind read. If you weren’t so hot, you’d be insufferable. You know that?”

“Yeah,” Susan said with a mock serious expression. Then she laughed. “Is it really mine?”

“Yeah, sunshine. It’s all yours.” Hancock stepped up to her and wrapped his arms around her. “Lemme tell ya, the last time you were in Goodneighbor, every night was a fight between what you needed and what you had. It was a bigger battle than what we ever had in the ruins. When you skipped out, I was pissed at first. Then I remembered how hard it was when I was a drifter, never knowin’ when I was gonna have a place I could call my own. So when I saw the good people of Goodneighbor were willin’ to help, I talked to Kleo and we got this place ready for you in case you ever came back.” 

Hancock shrugged like it was no big deal, but Susan’s heart sang when she thought about the effort he had made for her. “Never wanted to make you feel like you had to follow my rules cuz you were on my turf,” he concluded.

Susan shook her head slowly, still taking in the room. Her room. Her very own room in Goodneighbor. She already had a place to stay in Hangman’s Alley, and in Sanctuary, but this was different. She could be near him but not dependent on him. 

“You never made me feel like that, John,” she said, cupping his cheek in her hand. 

“Doll, there was plenty of nights when I didn’t know if you actually wanted to come back to the State House with me, or if you were just doing it because you didn’t wanna go to the Rex. If I’m gonna have someone in my bed, I need to know they’re there because they wanna be, not because they ain’t got other options. Ya feel me?”

“I feel you,” Susan murmured, tightening her arms around his neck. She put her lips against his, and Hancock kissed her, gently at first, but then with more urgency. His hands roamed up and down her back, caressing. 

She felt desire swell up inside her like a tide. She was still worried about getting intimate with anyone, but there was no doubt she wanted him. She believed with all her heart that he wouldn’t hurt her on purpose. She pressed herself into him, trying to let him know with her body how much she desired him. 

Hancock pulled away after a few minutes, and the look of heat in his eyes took her breath away. “You sure, sunshine?” he said huskily. “I just gave you somethin’, and I don’t want you feeling like you have to give me somethin’ to make us square. That ain’t what this is about, right?”

“No,” Susan said, her voice breathy. “Fuck no. I just keep thinking about those skills you told me you had. I think you mentioned something about being a champion?” She blushed but she didn’t look away. “I need evidence.” 

A cocky smile spread over his face. “That so?” Hancock put his hands on her, pulling up, and she helped him pick her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. He carried her to the bed like that, slowly, as they kissed tenderly. 

He laid her down, then moved as if to slide off her to the side, but she clung to him, holding him there with her legs, her dress pushed up around her hips, her mouth fastened to his. 

When Susan finally let go of his head, Hancock chuckled and said, “Damn, baby. All right.” He pulled his knees up, taking some of his weight off her, and she released her leghold on him slightly. 

Cradling her face in his hands, his arms on either side of her head, he began to kiss her again, differently now, teasingly, gently pulling on her lips with his, lightly biting her tongue, moving his head back so there was space in between them before coming back in, and she found herself straining towards him as she waited for each kiss.

Hancock trailed kisses down her cheek to her ear, then down her neck and onto her chest. He pulled her arms up over her head and caressed her with both hands from her palms to her waist, continuing to kiss his way down her body. 

Susan couldn’t believe how good it felt. He was playing her like a fiddle, and Hancock was a master. His hands danced around the sides of her breasts, not groping, just the tips of his thumbs brushing her nipples through her dress. She moaned softly as he slid his hands around to the backs of her thighs, caressing that sensitive area between her legs and buttocks. 

His hands drifted around, and this time when Susan felt Hancock’s fingertips brush her through her panties, she whimpered in pleasure. Just that light touch seemed to send fireworks through her whole body. 

Hancock growled his satisfaction at her reaction, and when he went to shift further down, she released him with her legs. He grabbed her foot, kissing it, then working his way up to the inside of her thigh towards the junction, until she could feel his warm breath on her through the thin fabric of her underwear. Then he pulled away and started again with the other foot, kissing his way slowly back. 

He wrapped his arms around her thighs, pulling her to him. When he hooked his finger in the crotch of her panties and pulled them to the side, she forgot how to breathe. 

“That’s a beautiful sight, doll,” Hancock purred. He exhaled warmly on her before using just the tip of his tongue to slide briefly over the focus of her pleasure, and he chuckled when she gasped, his mouth never stopping, as he licked her again, lightly, teasingly.

“Oh god,” Susan breathed. She cupped her breasts. It had been such a long time. She had forgotten how good it all felt. And Hancock was very, very good at what he did. As his tongue flicked over her, she lost herself in the sensation. 

Hancock kissed her there as thoroughly and competently as he had kissed her mouth, pulling her lips into his, circling her clit with his tongue, using his fingertips to keep her spread so he could delve more deeply. It didn’t take long at all before the pleasure built to the breaking point, and she came hard, his mouth caressing her between her legs, as she desperately moaned his name. 

“Oh yes, Hancock, god yes,” Susan whimpered. “Please don’t stop.” 

When her shuddering ceased, he eased away from her, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, and pulled himself up to lie next to her with his arm around her. He spread his hand across her hip, holding her tightly enough to him that Susan could feel his hardness between her cheeks.

Feeling him pressed up against her like that brought a new flush of arousal to her face, and she bit her lip, wondering what came next, what he expected from her, trying to decide what she wanted to do. Then it hit her as she thought back to the first night they had touched each other in his bed.

Susan turned her head so she could see Hancock’s hungry expression out of the corner of her eye. “Is it my turn now?”

Surprise flashed across his face. Then he gave her a lustful smile. “You do you, sunshine.” 

Susan sat up, pulling him up with her, then taking his hand and leading him over to the small couch. She pushed Hancock into it, and he sat with a bemused expression as she pushed his knees apart and dropped a pillow on the floor between his feet. 

She leaned over the couch, pressing her body against him, and kissed him, caressing his ruined skin with her gentle fingertips. Slowly she began to slide down him, leaving kisses on his neck, his chest. Soon she knelt in front of him. 

Looking up at him through her lashes with her arms wrapped around his waist, Susan began tugging teasingly with her teeth at the flag tied around him like a sash. “Damn,” Hancock said through clenched teeth, his eyes drowning in black as he stared at her. 

Susan chuckled softly, using her hands now to help her untie the flag. With nimble fingers she unclasped his belt, unbuttoned his pants, and slid the zipper down. Taking a deep breath, she pulled his underwear down, freeing his manhood. She wrapped her hand around him and Hancock let out an inarticulate groan, his eyes closing as his head went back. 

Lust hadn’t obliterated Susan’s clinical nature, and she assessed his member, scrutinizing it carefully. A generous size, she noted, the skin smoother and suppler than most of his ravaged body, some marks of damage but nothing that would be an impediment. She stroked it experimentally and found good skin movement, a very firm erection, and a not unpleasant aroma. 

Susan looked up at him, smiling in approval, and Hancock opened his eyes. “Ever the scientist,” he said huskily. “Does it pass your inspection?” The words were said in a flippant tone, but she could tell the answer mattered to him. It was like he was worried she would suddenly remember he was a ghoul and find him repugnant. 

In answer, Susan licked it with the tip of her tongue and gave him a sultry smile. Hancock gathered up her hair for her with unsteady hands. She slid her lips around him, moving her head in a circle, stroking his cock with her mouth. She ran quick licks down the shaft, her saliva leaving it glistening. 

When she fastened her mouth over the head and began to glide down him, Hancock moaned in disbelief. Her nose touched his belly before she eased back up, and Susan purred in satisfaction at his reaction. She went back to tiny licks on the tip, holding the shaft firmly in one hand, her other hand cradling his balls. Then she took his entire length in again, stopping to caress him with her tongue while his cock touched the back of her throat. 

“Now you’re just showin’ off,” Hancock growled, burying his hands in her hair. 

When Susan came back up, she began swirling her tongue around the head, moving up and down more quickly, and was rewarded by a hitch in his breathing that told her he was close. She closed her eyes and pulled him into her mouth deeply, caressing him with her tongue, and soon he shuddered and cried out as he crested explosively, her lips still wrapped around him, milking every drop. When his twitching stopped, he put his hands under her arms and pulled her, unresisting, into his lap. 

“Damn, doll,” Hancock said after a few minutes. “I think maybe I should give you my championship trophy.” Susan chuckled throatily. “Didn’t really expect that after you told me you had your neck all cut up.” 

“One time when Nate was away on deployment, I bought myself a toy and trained myself out of my gag reflex,” she said smugly into his shoulder. 

“You are a helluva woman,” Hancock replied, his voice gravelly. 

Susan could feel him pressed against her between her legs, just one layer of thin fabric separating them. He was getting hard again as his hands drifted over her. It would be so easy to slide that bit of cloth to the side, to ease herself onto him. But past experience had told her that he probably wouldn’t come as quickly the second time, and she wasn’t sure she wanted their first intercourse to be a marathon session. And she was still afraid it would hurt. 

Hancock seemed to sense her indecision. “We ain’t gotta do anything else, doll. Hell, that was more than I expected. You’re full of surprises, ain’t ya?” Susan leaned back to look at him. “You’re in control, sunshine. What do you wanna do?” 

“I really wanna take a shower,” she said honestly, and he laughed. Gathering himself, he stood up and set her on her feet. 

“Okay, sunshine,” Hancock said, grinning, pulling his pants closed and buttoning them. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He paused with his hand on his zipper. “’Less you want me to join ya?”

Although they’d just had their mouths on each other’s most private parts, Susan felt a blush coming to her cheeks at the thought. They’d have to get completely undressed; he’d never seen her in the nude. But suddenly she very much wanted him to. “Yes,” she said simply. His hand dropped from his zipper. 

“All right then,” Hancock said, his husky growl tightening things low in her body. “I’ve been dyin’ to get you outta that dress, gorgeous.” 

He slipped his hands under the straps and slid them off her shoulders. The fabric stretched as he pushed it down past her breasts. The dress’s downward progress halted as he turned his attention to her bosom, stroking with fingertips and then bending over to take one nipple lightly between his teeth. Susan’s gasp brought an answering chuckle from him. Then he pushed the dress down slowly past her thighs until it settled in a pool on the floor around her feet. 

Hancock knelt in front of her, easing one finger from each hand into the band of her panties, pulling them away from her slightly before tugging them around the curve of her round backside. 

He looked her in the eyes as he took them in his teeth and slowly slid them down her legs until she stood naked in front of him. His wicked expression as he gazed up told her he appreciated the sight, and he caressed her curves as he got to his feet, his eyes like drowning pools.

Seeming reluctant to disengage, Hancock slowly withdrew his hands from her body, moving to unbutton his shirt. Susan helped him with his pants, the strap across his chest; she helped him pull off the red coat, the white ruffled shirt. She fumbled with a boot and he laughed, capturing her fluttering hands for a kiss before pulling the boots off himself. She helped him ease his pants down, and they stood nude together. 

Suddenly feeling a little shy, Susan took his hand and pulled him into the bathroom.


	2. "Call Me John"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock knows now beyond a shadow of a doubt that Susan wants to have an intimate relationship with him. For the first time, he gets a chance to show her that he can be everything he claimed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 90 days in the Commonwealth, conclusion

Hancock leaned against the shower wall, watching Susan washing her hair with some scented soap Daisy had donated, bliss evident on her face. He’d never known anyone to take such sensual pleasure in getting clean. 

He’d barely even thought about things like washing himself or his clothes before she came into his life. Hancock still remembered Susan’s appalled face when she had asked him how people cleaned their clothes in Goodneighbor, and he had said that he honestly didn’t think most of them did. 

He had started bathing more often once he realized she was almost obsessively fastidious, and he had discovered to his surprise that he enjoyed feeling clean. He’d gotten an old washing machine put in the State House but he hadn’t been able to figure out how to make it work. It hadn’t seemed too important after Susan left, but now he had a reason. 

Hancock didn’t enjoy the actual process of getting clean, though; at least not like she did. She looked like she was about to orgasm again just from the water rushing over her. 

A smug grin crept onto Hancock’s face as he thought about how easily he had brought her to climax, moaning his name. 

Susan pushed her long blond hair back and finally opened her eyes. She rolled them when she caught him smirking at her, but she couldn’t stop smiling. “You want another hit or are you good?” she asked. 

“I’m not as hardcore as you are, sunshine,” Hancock teased. Her silvery laugh echoed in the tiny space. 

Susan turned and shut off the tap, somewhat reluctantly. He handed her a towel from the tiny cupboard just within reach and then dried himself. She wrapped the towel modestly around herself and gave him a self-conscious smile as she stepped out. 

Hancock put his towel around his waist although he wanted to rip hers off and throw her on the bed instead.

Back in the bedroom, Susan swooped up her dress and draped it carefully over the couch. “I don’t want it to get wrinkled,” she said defensively. She eyed the heap of his clothes. Hancock gathered them up and piled them somewhat less neatly on the seat. 

It felt strange to be bereft of his red coat, his tricorn hat. Did she still find him as attractive stripped of his regalia? Without his costume? Susan seemed to sense his line of thought and stepped up to put her hands reassuringly on his shoulders, her green gaze fixed on his dark one.

“I wish I could see what you looked like before you were a ghoul. You must’ve been a knockout.” She pulled him closer. “You still are.”

“You ain’t gotta flatter me, doll,” Hancock said, his voice rough. “I talk tough but I know I’m not gonna be winnin’ any beauty pageants.”

Susan kissed him gently, pressing her body against his. “You are beautiful to me,” she whispered in his ear, and Hancock could almost believe her. She led him over to the bed. 

Hancock noticed she didn’t try to tuck away under the covers; she stretched out on top of the bed, so he joined her. It felt odd to be there just wearing towels, but he pulled her close to him just like he normally did. He stroked the soft skin of her arm, wondering if he should do or say something. 

Then he remembered her advice to just shut the fuck up sometimes, and he said nothing. 

“I want you,” Susan said suddenly, and he looked at her face, flushed in the lamplight. “I want you, but I’m scared,” she finished so quietly he had to strain to hear. 

“I ain’t gonna hurt you, doll,” Hancock purred reassuringly. He put his hand on her towel and gave her a quizzical look. When she nodded, he slowly pulled it apart, baring her. 

With gentle hands and mouth, he got her warmed up as he had earlier, taking his time, waiting while the tension slowly eased out of her again. He kissed her as if he had all the time in the world. Then he moved lower to stroke her private parts with his tongue, and soon he had her gasping and clutching at him. 

When her trembled ended, Hancock moved back up, his mouth by her ear. “I been thinkin’. Maybe best to have you on top to start, me sittin’ up. That way you’re in control and I can’t get up in there too deep ‘less you let me. Ya dig?” 

Hancock didn’t really feel comfortable talking about it so openly like that, but Susan seemed to appreciate his frankness. She looked relieved as she nodded. So he rolled over onto his back, propping himself up, then stroked her arm, waiting patiently, half expecting her to change her mind at any minute. 

But Susan seemed determined. She pushed herself up and moved to sit on top of him, straddling him. She kissed him a couple of times, but her hands wandered lower, and soon she released him from his towel, trailing fingertips up and down his shaft. She moved down, and Hancock gave an appreciative murmur when she took him into her mouth briefly, getting him slick and ready to slide in easily. Then she moved back up, positioning herself over him, and maneuvered him to her entrance. 

They stared at each other.

“You sure you want this, sunshine?” Hancock asked quietly, stroking her arms. “Just cuz we’re here don’t mean you gotta do anything you don’t wanna do.”

That seemed to be what Susan needed to hear. She pushed her hips down, slowly, pushing him inside of her. She was wet and warm and felt amazing. Her eyes fluttered shut and she made a tiny sound of pleasure at the feel of him inside her for the first time.

Then she seemed unsure again. It was like she was afraid to move. So Hancock pulled her torso against him, careful not to pull on her pelvis, and wrapped his arms around her. She relaxed into him, putting her head on his shoulder and her arms around him, and Hancock could feel her relaxing down there, too. 

“I bet this is not quite what you imagined when you thought about fucking me,” Susan said in an unsteady voice. “Sorry.”

“Sunshine, being here, inside of you, is just about the best feelin’ in the world. I ain’t in no hurry. You take your time. Me? I feel like I got it made.” 

He felt some more tension drain out of her. After a few minutes, she began to move against him, her pelvis rocking slightly. He caressed her back, her arms, her thighs, any part of her he could reach. He wished he could see her face. He had imagined being in this position so many times, he could hardly believe it was actually happening. 

Fuck, she felt so good, he knew all she’d have to do to make him explode was to pick up the pace. But Hancock wanted her to peak with him inside her, so he controlled the speed and depth with his hands on her hips. 

When Susan sat up and snarled her frustration at his slow pace, her hands on his chest, eyes filled with lust, Hancock grinned. She felt wet and loosened up. Pushing up slightly with his hips, he gave her an answering growl of pleasure. 

Still holding her tightly, right where he wanted her, he expertly stroked her g-spot with his cock. It wasn’t long before he had her gasping, riding him without reservations, his strong hands preventing her from driving herself too deeply onto him. “Oh god, Hancock,” she moaned, the movement of her hips cresting. He just smiled and gave her what she wanted. “Hancock!” she cried, her fingernails digging into his shoulders.

“Call me John,” he purred. 

“Oh holy fuck, John,” Susan whimpered, climaxing helplessly, and Hancock growled again with satisfaction and let himself go so they came together. She collapsed back down on him, trembling. 

Her quiet sounds of pleasure seemed to soothe all the wounds on his soul. 

When Susan finally pulled back, sitting up, contentment in her eyes, Hancock reached up with one hand to gently tweak her nipple. 

“That slow enough for you, sunshine?” Hancock purred. 

“Holy fuck,” Susan muttered. Her hands stroked his face, wonderingly. “If you go that slowly again, I might strangle you,” she added. 

“Goin’ slow is better for you right now, sunshine.” He paused. “It ain’t no hardship for me, either,” he informed her. 

Hancock had never felt closer to anyone in his life. Sure, he’d fucked a lot of pussies. There was no denying that. But Susan was in a class all by herself. Seeing her writhe on his cock had filled him with unaccustomed pleasure. He pulled her back down so he could meld his mouth to hers. 

This time, when Susan pulled away, that green gaze penetrated him. Her face was full of tenderness when she whispered, “I love you.”

Hancock chuckled. “In case you didn’t know, I love you too, doll.”


	3. "Real, Real Urgent"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock takes it very seriously when Susan shows up at his office with an urgent message. When they are interrupted by a raider attack on Goodneighbor, they conclude their business somewhat differently than either had imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 99 days in the Commonwealth.

Hancock was talking to Fahrenheit about some things his bodyguard would need to take care of while he was in the Glowing Sea when he saw Susan’s face appear at the door to his office, which was almost always open.

He was surprised to see her. It was earlier than he expected her, and it was very unlike her to show up at the Statehouse. She had been back for over a week now and they were almost ready to make the journey. 

When he saw the green dress she was wearing, a gift from him, he couldn’t help but grin, remembering pulling it off her a few nights ago. They had spent every night together since her return, and they were definitely not doing therapy any more. They were doing the other thing. 

Fucking.

Susan held an envelope in her hands, and she looked anxious. The grin slid off Hancock’s face.

“Give us a minute, will ya?” Hancock said to his bodyguard, who just shrugged as she left the room. 

Susan shut the door behind her. “This is urgent,” she told him. He took the paper from her, wondering what it could possibly be.

Hancock pulled the envelope apart, revealing the contents. A single piece of paper had three words written in an elegant hand.

‘I want you.’

Hancock stared at the paper and let a serious look come over his face. “This does seem important, doll,” he said. “I’ll hafta give it my full attention,” he added, keeping his eyes on the paper. 

Susan gave him a look. She pulled his hat off and put it on her own head, giving him a mischievous grin. 

“Will do; I think I got it,” Hancock said in a businesslike voice. He still held the paper and he looked at it, frowning, and pointed at his desk behind her. “Hey sunshine, can you grab that pen for me?”

Susan looked a little put out at being ignored in favor of the paper and tasked to fetch a writing utensil, but she moved to get it. 

As she turned away, Hancock grabbed her hips and pushed her against his desk, pressing his pelvis into her round ass. Her adorable gasp of surprise was enough to get him hard.

“Never mind,” he growled into her ear. “Don’t think I need to take notes for this after all,” he added, letting the paper flutter to the ground. 

Susan giggled, then gasped again as he quickly ran his hands up to her breasts, pulling her against him. Hancock wanted to rip her panties off with his teeth and thrust into her, but he knew he had to take his time. 

Was his favorite part, actually, now that he thought about it.

So he kicked her feet apart and stepped between her legs, wrapping his hand around her long hair under his hat and tugging her head to the side so he could kiss her neck, his other hand moving to pinch her pert nipple. When she made a small noise of pleasure, he bit her shoulder, massaging her nipple until the combination of pleasure and a hint of pain had her making helpless sounds as she panted.

Hancock purred into her ear, “Gonna give it my full...” He emphasized the word as he ground his cock in between her cheeks. “Attention.”

He pushed her down onto the desk with the hand in her hair, running his other palm up her spine. He pulled both her arms up over her head and held her hands as he pushed his pelvis into hers, a slow rhythm. He wrapped her fingers around the edge of the desk. 

“Don’t let go,” Hancock purred in her ear, watching her expression in profile as he stood up. 

Susan just nodded, her cheeks flushed, eyes wide. She seemed surprised by his aggressive response, but not in a bad way. More like his previous gentleness had not prepared her for this side of him. He noted with gratification that she seemed eager despite her shock. 

Hancock slapped her ass, not too hard, gauging her reaction. When she gasped and clung to the desk, he grinned. 

He pushed her dress up to her waist. He put both hands on her round buttocks, squeezing, then slapped her again, harder. Susan moaned and then made a helpless noise of disbelief. Her eyes were round and her mouth was open; his hat was askew.

Hancock growled in satisfaction as he bent over and took her panties in his teeth. He thought about gently easing them off her like he had before they got in the shower that first time, but then he thought, fuck it. 

His teeth buried in the fabric, Hancock pulled back until he could hear the material ripping, and the band pulled taut enough that he had to hold Susan’s hips tightly to keep her in place. The flimsy garment tore. 

“Holy shit,” Susan muttered, then gasped as Hancock spread her cheeks and licked her quickly. 

“You said it was urgent,” he reminded her, his voice husky. 

Hancock just appreciated the sight of her for a moment, legs spread, clutching the desk, her dress around her waist, his tricorn hat crookedly perched on her head, face turned to the side so he could see her expression. 

“Real, real urgent,” Hancock said, enjoying the blush that came to her cheeks the longer he just stood there admiring the view. 

Finally he bent and licked her again, a long lick from her clit to her rose, then another, stopping to flick her clit with his tongue, then to stab it into her, making her gasp. He moved up one side and down the other, sucking on her lips, pulling them into his mouth. When he bit her gently, scraping his teeth along the sensitive flesh, she made a high-pitched sound that made him chuckle. 

“I’ve gone feral,” Hancock said wickedly, his voice muffled, and Susan laughed in disbelief. Her legs were shaking. Her mouth moved but she seemed incapable of words. Hancock slipped a finger inside her, stroking downward, pushing his tongue into her rose and then lightly biting her ass cheek. He could feel tiny spasms that told him she was almost there, but he wasn’t ready for her to climax yet. He wanted to see her face. 

Hancock stood up and pulled her up, his hands on her shoulders; Susan had been gripping the desk so hard she had a difficult time unwrapping her fingers from the edge. She was panting and her eyes were glazed when he turned her to face him. 

“Why’d you stop?” she asked breathlessly. 

“Bad girls who lie about urgent messages don’t get to ask questions,” Hancock growled.

Susan bit her lip, swallowing, as he put his hands on her waist and set her on the desk. He slid fingertips down to her knees and then slowly pushed her legs apart, his gaze locked to hers. He eased her dress up to her hips. Her eyes widened and she leaned back, her arms behind her. 

She looked so tasty, wearing his hat, her legs apart, her torn panties dangling, Hancock seriously considered just pulling out his cock and plunging into her. But he wanted to make her moan his name first. So he dragged her to the edge of the desk and knelt in front of her; she put her legs on his shoulders and he buried his face in her warmth again. 

Hancock spread her pink lips with one hand as he stroked her with his tongue, slipping a finger in to rub her g-spot, mercilessly sucking and flicking her clit until Susan grabbed his head with one hand, trying to hold him back, gasping as if she couldn’t handle the stimulation. 

But he just took her hands in his and drew them back behind her. He held both of her wrists in one of his hands while he used the other to spread her wide so he could attack her clit again. 

“Holy fuck, Hancock,” she whimpered, twitching helplessly; her knees tried to come together involuntarily. He pushed two fingers into her this time as he pulled on her with his lips and teeth, his whole mouth covering her. 

“Oh my god, John!” she cried, and he looked up as she convulsed, his tongue still on her, his fingers inside her as she came. Her arms were still trapped behind her back in his hand, her breasts thrust out. It was a good one, and he kept the spasms going for as long as possible, watching her as she squirmed and moaned. 

Beautiful. 

The door swung open just as Hancock was reaching for his belt. “Get out,” he growled, not even looking. 

Nicky’s voice came from behind him. “Uh, Hancock? It’s urgent,” he said. 

“So is this,” Hancock told Susan’s crotch, but he pulled her dress down so she wouldn’t be exposed to the Triggerman. He looked up at her. Fuck, she looked so hot with his hat on, her blond hair spilling out, cheeks flushed. 

He stood up reluctantly and turned around, moving out of between her thighs, and she demurely crossed her ankles, smoothing down her dress. 

“What the hell is it?” Hancock asked roughly. “If there ain’t bodies on the ground, there’s about to be. I’m busy here.”

“I see that,” Nicky said, his eyes lingering on Susan long enough that Hancock took a step forward, in front of her. The Triggerman swallowed when he saw the expression on Hancock’s face. “Raiders,” he said succinctly. 

“Shit,” Hancock snarled. “Where?”

“Just outside the gate. They look like they might have enough firepower to get in, boss. Without Finn...”

Susan jumped up. “I’ll get my power armor,” she said, returning Hancock’s hat and dashing out. 

Hancock followed her down the stairs, stopping to grab his shotgun. They burst out the exit that led to the front gate. Susan’s armor was right there, and she threw herself into it. Hancock could hear the Raiders and Triggermen fighting over the wall. He racked a shell into his shotgun, trying to decide if he should take cover here or go out to actively defend Goodneighbor. Susan sprinted up the stairs, presumably to get a weapon. 

The decision was taken out of his hands when the gate flew open. Two raiders came in screaming; one threw a grenade into Kill or Be Killed, but Kleo caught it deftly and threw it back out. It exploded outside the wall. Gotta love assaultrons, Hancock thought. 

He had rolled to the side and now took aim, scoring a shot on one arm of the nearest raider, so that the man dropped his rifle, cursing. The other one, a woman with a wicked looking bladed baseball bat, darted around the first raider, raising her arms. 

The woman’s head disappeared in a cloud of pink mist, the bat dropping to the ground in front of Hancock. He looked up to see Susan’s helmet in the open window of her room as the second raider dropped to the ground similarly. Damn, she was good with a sniper rifle, Hancock thought. “Glad you’re on my side, sister,” he called to her. Her face disappeared from the window and she joined him on the street. 

“Let’s mop up,” Hancock told her; thinking about how deadly she was had him semi-hard again. “I wanna finish what we started.” Susan flashed him a crooked smile. 

The raiders never had a chance. Hancock and Susan exploded out the gate, guns blazing. They joined the Triggermen fighting, and soon it was a rout. Susan killed two before they even knew she was there, crouching by the wall and aiming carefully with Headshot. By the time the raiders turned their attention to the pair, it was too late. They had fought together so much their movements were in perfect synch. 

The Triggermen fell back as Hancock and Susan advanced, and soon they were chasing the last raider down a side alley. Hancock shot his arm at the same time Susan shot his leg, and the man collapsed to the ground, motionless. 

Silence filled the night. Susan came up to him as he took a few deep breaths, scanning the area, adrenaline still surging through him. 

She got out of her power armor, and Hancock looked at her in surprise. 

“You sure that’s a good idea, doll?”

“No,” Susan said, shaking her head. Her eyes were filled with a strange light. “But I can’t wait any longer,” she told him, stepping up to him and sliding her hand behind his neck.

Hancock moved his shotgun out of the way as she tried to kiss him. “What, right here?”

“Yes,” she snarled, her hand cupping his crotch. 

“You’re insane, sunshine,” he said huskily, but he slung his shotgun onto his back and pushed her up against the brick wall behind her, grinding his pelvis into hers. He kissed her deeply, roughly, holding her smooth face in his ravaged hands; her deft fingers caressed him, urgently, her passion driving him wild.

Hancock flipped Susan around, hands on her shoulders, pressing her into the wall. He held her there with his teeth in her neck while he unfastened his pants and lifted her dress. She was bare underneath because he had ripped her panties off with his teeth, and she was still wet from his earlier attention. Hancock thrust into her, trying to remember he needed to be careful, but so wound up from the fight and the memory of what he’d done to her in his office that it was difficult. 

Susan put her hands on his hips, though, creating space between them so he couldn’t thrust too deeply, and Hancock found he could let himself go in a way he hadn’t before with her, knowing she would keep him from hurting her. He gave her what she wanted, growling his pleasure as she moaned his name. He slid his hand around to stroke her clit, and buried the other one in her hair, turning her head so he could bite her ear. 

Hancock growled with satisfaction when he felt her begin to convulse around him, and he held her hands in place so he could keep driving into her; soon she pulled him along with her and he exploded, groaning his pleasure. 

“You sure know how to show a ghoul a good time,” he said into her ear. She smiled and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and making a sound of contentment as she exhaled. 

Hancock finally pulled away. The Triggermen would be looking for them if they didn’t return soon.

Susan’s eyes were still closed but she didn’t resist when he turned her around. “I’m ready,” she told him, opening her eyes. “Let’s leave tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone's challenge inspired this scene but I couldn't remember which one.


	4. "It Ain't a Painting"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan goes out into the Glowing Sea with Hancock to try to find Virgil. They realize the fight for survival isn’t as important as the company you keep while you’re doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 days in the Commonwealth.

Susan trudged along, wishing there was something to look at besides craggy rocks and dead trees. She was so tired she was having a hard time making herself scan the horizon for shelter or danger like she knew she needed to be doing. They hadn’t seen an intact building for hours. 

Their progress was slow because they were basically creeping along half the time, trying to avoid fighting the dangerous denizens of the Glowing Sea. So far, they’d been lucky. They’d dodged several clashes by being alert and had been able to take out from a distance any enemies they couldn’t avoid. 

Susan had decided not to wear her power armor for this trek, and she was starting to wonder if it had been the wrong decision as she felt the weariness making her stumble. That clunking hulk wasn’t exactly conducive to sneaking, though, and she and Hancock had agreed stealth was their best approach. 

She wore a mismatched set of metal and leather armor over a set of military fatigues, goggles, and a combat helmet. Her hazmat suit was in her pack with her other supplies, but she hadn’t had to put it on as often as she had thought she might. The Glowing Sea wasn’t wall-to-wall radiation like she had imagined; the worst spots were in pockets. But carrying all this gear without much of a break and no power armor to add strength was wearing her out. 

Hancock walked at her side, holding his shotgun cradled under his arm. He was humming again, and although she didn’t usually mind it, her hunger and fatigue was making her cranky and she wished he would just be quiet. She knew the radiation didn’t affect him like it did her; he actually seemed to enjoy it to some extent. He said it made his senses feel sharper. 

Susan felt like she could barely make her eyes focus. In fact, it was getting harder and harder to see anything. She squinted, wondering if it was her exhaustion that was making the mist seem thicker and thicker. 

“Shit,” Hancock said next to her. He pulled something out of her pack and handed it to her. “We’d better find you some shelter before you pick up a glow.”

Susan looked at the Rad-X in her hand, suddenly realizing what this was: a radiation storm. It wasn’t her first, but she’d always been close enough to safety to get inside before it got bad. She popped the pills in her mouth just as the first flash of green lit up the sky. Her Geiger counter began to crackle. 

Hancock grabbed her hand and picked up their pace, but Susan was having a hard time paying attention to anything but the storm. She’d never been outside in one before, and although the eerie, dissonant wailing and rumbling was terrifying, she also couldn’t believe how magnificent the storm was. 

The sky was turning a mustard yellow and the flashes of green lightning were coming more often. Each bright flash was accompanied by a pulsing, visceral sound, like metal being stretched. She could barely tear her eyes away from it. “It’s beautiful,” she shouted to Hancock over the roar of the storm.

“It ain’t a painting, doll, it’s a radstorm,” he called back, scanning for something that would shelter them through the storm. “Dammit! I wish we had time to get you into that Hazmat suit! Wait, there’s somethin’…” 

Susan squinted into the fog in the direction he indicated. There did seem to be a small structure not too far from them, and they began to jog towards it. She still felt mesmerized by the alien sound of the air being electrified and the bright, blinding flashes. As they neared their destination, which looked like a metal box with one side missing, Susan took one last look out at the storm. 

Suddenly Hancock crouched, pulling her to the ground, and she snapped her attention back around; but it was too late. Just inside the metal box, a huge, dark shape uncoiled. Mottled, radiant green patches covered it like a fungus. Twice her height, horned, covered with thick, armored hide and equipped with huge teeth and razor-sharp six-inch claws, deathclaws were always dangerous; this glowing one was the largest she’d ever seen. 

Frantically Susan pulled a Psycho Jet cartridge from its quick-release holster on her sleeve and jabbed it into her arm, then pulled out her shotgun. The damn thing was too close to try to carefully aim her rifle at its head. If only she’d been paying attention! Twelve shells were all she had to get it down before it killed her. 

The terrifying creature was already out of the box, and they were wicked fast once they got moving. Time slowed down as the chem kicked in, and Susan sighted the deathclaw’s leg, shooting it twice. The second hit got the kneecap and the monster went down for a second, but it was up quickly, using its good leg and its huge, powerful arms, nearly as long as she was, to pull itself towards them. 

Susan backed away, trying to stay calm as the thing lunged at her. She aimed at its head now, but it was moving erratically and she missed with two of three shells. Fuck! Seven shells left. 

Hancock was shooting at its dangerous arms, probably hoping to cripple it enough so that it couldn’t shred them, and Susan tried to take out the other leg, but she couldn’t get a clear shot. Five shells left. 

She gave up aiming with her sights, firing from the hip and just desperately hoping she could damage it critically before it got to them. Three quick shots, all center mass, slowed the creature down, but still it came at her, less than twenty feet away now. Two shells left. 

The glowing deathclaw suddenly lunged, grabbing at her, and Susan threw herself backwards desperately to avoid those slashing claws, like a fistful of combat knives. 

On her back on the ground she looked up at the looming monster, and it must’ve been the chem; but as a green flash lit up the sky behind the deathclaw, suddenly it was like she had all the time in the world to aim up at it and put one shell straight into one of those dark eyes. 

When it opened its mouth to howl its pain and rage, Susan put her last shell through the open jaws. Its brains exploded out the back of its skull and it collapsed.

Susan lay there flat on her back, stunned, shaking, her breaths coming in short pants. The clouds rumbled and the sky flashed green again. Her Geiger counter crackled, and suddenly she felt a wave of nausea. Scrambling to flip over, she made it to elbows and knees before retching bile onto the rocky earth. She dry-heaved a few times, but her stomach had nothing to surrender.

A warm hand stroked her back. “You all right, doll?” Hancock asked gruffly. “I could use some Jet after that.”

Susan shuddered. The Psycho Jet she’d taken was still coursing through her, along with a rush of adrenaline - not to mention the Rad-X - and the last thing she wanted was more chems. She let him help her to her feet. They stared at the motionless body of the deathclaw. Normally she would have tried to salvage the claws or something, but she couldn’t make herself do it. She was still trembling. 

Hancock put his arm around her and steered her towards the box. Inside they found a weathered bedroll and a small supply stash in a dented cooler. He pushed her towards the bedroll, and she was too tired to resist, so she stretched out on it. “Probably gonna get fleas from this thing,” she grumbled. 

“Better fleas than tryna go any further without resting,” Hancock snapped back. He sat on the floor next to her and pulled a bag of Radaway out of her pack. Setting it aside, he brushed her hair out of her eyes. 

Susan knew why he wasn’t giving it to her yet. Outside, the radstorm still raged, the open-sided box providing almost no shelter from the radiation spikes, and she would continue to get irradiated until it was over. So it made sense to wait. But she was feeling ill from the effects of her exposure, not to mention hunger, shock, and the lingering chems.

“I guess you’re right,” she mumbled.

“Damn right I’m right,” he said. He reached out and for a second, she wondered if Hancock was going to grope her while she lay there sick, but when she looked down, she saw he was fingering a horizontal slash in her fatigues. Hancock shook his head slowly. “That was a close one.”

“Yeah,” she said, fighting to keep her eyes open. It seemed the Jet wasn’t stronger than her weariness. 

“You need food before you sleep, sister,” Hancock reminded her. “And you probably should put on your hazmat suit.” Susan groaned, but let him help her into the bulky outfit, sans helmet. He handed her some Potato Crisps and she felt like throwing up again at the sight. But she made herself eat some and then drink from the water bottle he gave her. She put the helmet on and lay back, and she could feel herself slipping away as she closed her eyes, perversely soothed by the eerie wail of the storm. 

Hancock woke her with a gentle shake a while later. It was dark and she saw that the storm was over. He helped her out of the hazmat suit, and she lay there passively while he carefully put the needle into her vein and held the Radaway bag up so it would drain into her. Soon she was feeling less ill, although she knew the med would make her tired again. 

Susan sat up and thanked him quietly. She sniffed the air. “What’s that smell?”

“Figured our new friend oughta make himself useful,” Hancock said. He got up and went to check the small fire he’d built just outside their meager shelter. “You ever had deathclaw steak? Nothing tastier than a meal that tries to eat you first.”

Susan shrugged, still feeling somewhat disoriented. Then she noticed that the weapon he had broken down and was cleaning by the fire was her shotgun. “Hey,” she protested weakly. “Is that Sally? You don’t have to do that.”

“Almost done, sunshine,” Hancock said. “Already did Headshot for ya.” He turned to grin at her. “Seems like the least I can do after you took down that deathclaw almost single-handed. Dropping a deathclaw's no joke. Seriously took care of business back there.” He looked back at the fire, his smile slipping away. “Tried to get its attention, but it was determined to go after you. One of the scariest fuckin’ things I’ve ever seen. Felt like I was in slow motion compared to that thing.”

Susan nodded. “That’s why I choose Psycho Jet over Headshot. If I’d missed my first shot it would’ve been on us before I could shoot again. I killed that one in Concord with a mini gun, remember? Not something I usually carry on me. Sally was my only chance.”

Hancock gave the shotgun an affectionate pat. “She’s a beaut, doll. I can tell you take care of her.”

“Guns don’t ask a lot of questions and they don’t complain. It’s easy to spend time with her.” She shrugged. Hancock finished putting Sally back together and then brought Susan a slice of roasted deathclaw. She took a hesitant bite even though she didn’t really feel hungry. Her eyebrows went up and she gaped at him. “This is amazing!”

“Told ya, sunshine,” Hancock chuckled, helping himself to some. They ate in silence for a while. Susan pulled up her Pip-Boy display and looked at the map.

“Think we’ll make it to the crater tomorrow?” he asked her.

“I don’t know,” she said slowly. “We’re almost off the map. I hope so.” She sighed. “If we make it at all,” she added, feeling miserable.

“Enough of that kinda talk, sunshine.” Hancock finished his steak, then got up to join her. He pushed her down onto the bedroll and lay down next to her. It was a tight fit but Susan was happy to have Hancock’s arms around her. “You just tore up a glowing deathclaw. That was some legendary shit, doll. I feel like we can handle anything.”

Susan pondered his words. But soon she got distracted by the feel of him pressed up against her. “Got whiskey?” she asked sleepily.

“It’s your lucky day, sunshine,” Hancock said. “There’s a bottle in that stash.” Susan roused enough to grab it and take a long swig, then handed it to him. 

Strangely, despite everything, she could feel her body responding to the feel of his pressed against her. She blushed when she remembered his excellent sense of smell. The sensation of him starting to get hard against her back told her he’d noticed her arousal before he spoke.

“Damn, doll,” Hancock purred. “You’re insatiable. You want me right now?” He ran his hand down her side with teasing fingertips. She shivered.

“I just wanna... Feel alive,” Susan said finally. “Does that make any sense? We almost died today. Tomorrow, who knows what might happen?” She paused. “I guess it’s not exactly a good time, though.”

In response, Hancock kissed her neck. Susan turned her head to face him. He kissed her gently, tenderly, while his hands went to the waistband of her fatigues, unsnapping the button, then pushing them down just to her knees. He sat up and she wondered what he was doing, then suddenly realized. “Oh! You don’t have to do that,” she blurted out. “I’m not very… clean.”

“Baby, with all the baths and showers you take, you’re probably the cleanest thing in the Commonwealth,” Hancock chuckled, his hands on her buttocks. He bent to his task. It felt different from this angle; Susan gasped as he found new and interesting places to lick. It didn’t take long for her to climax, his fingers inside her, his mouth caressing her.

He lay back next to her with a satisfied sigh. She felt him unfasten his belt, his pants. He put the two fingers he’d used earlier into her mouth, and she wet them warmly so he could add that moisture to the mix. She felt him at her entrance and arched her back, pushing her buttocks into the air in invitation. He gently worked his way into her and then relaxed, letting her body adjust to the feel of him inside her, moving just slightly, stroking her face, her arm, her hip.

Fuck, she loved him. Susan closed her eyes as she began to buck her hips against his. No one had ever been like he was in bed. So perceptive, so strong but gentle, so aware of his own body, and hers. His hand slipped around her to stimulate her clit, and then she was convulsing against him, moaning his name. 

He followed her, and as they came together, he took her face in his hand and kissed her, and Susan forgot about the deathclaw, the Glowing Sea, and everything else but Hancock.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you see where I broke the fourth wall!


	5. "One Cutthroat Gal"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan gets harassed by a drifter in the Third Rail, but she doesn’t need Hancock’s help this time to handle the situation. Later that night, though, someone shows up who takes exception to what Susan has done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has my favorite Hancock quote EVER.

Susan sat in her accustomed spot in the Third Rail in Goodneighbor. She had put on her ‘charming’ mask tonight, as Hancock called it, but less than a quarter of her attention was on the small talk and bullshit she was picking up from the drifters around her. 

What she was actually thinking about was how the fuck she was supposed to kill a courser. So it took her a minute to realize the meat wall standing in front of her was addressing her.

“I said, you’re the hottest thing I’ve seen in this piece of shit town,” he repeated. She slowly looked up. He was like most of the drifters she’d seen around, except bigger. A man who appeared slender by contrast stood behind him and to the side, watching, possibly a companion.

“Oh yeah,” Susan said nonchalantly, looking through him. It wasn’t clear whether she meant it as a statement or a question. 

Maybe a missile launcher, she thought. Even a courser couldn’t survive being hit with a missile. She wasn’t that great with one, though. It was too heavy for her to feel comfortable. Virgil, the escaped Institute scientist she had met in the Glowing Sea, had turned out to be a super mutant, but his obvious intelligence and desperate desire to get his experimental serum had convinced her he was telling the truth; that he was right. But to kill a courser? They were the bogeymen of the Commonwealth!

“That was a compliment, sweetheart,” the drifter said with a frown. 

Maybe her new plasma rifle, Susan mused. She still didn’t quite understand how it worked, though. Surely she could figure it out, but that would just be more time, more delays. Was there really any urgency, though? 

“Hey, are you listening to me?” The drifter’s loud, irritated voice intruded on her thoughts.

Susan calmly lit a cigarette and then blew the smoke into his face. “Not really,” she replied.

“Well, you should be. Because I was about to ask you what you were doing later, and I don’t think you wanna miss this opportunity.” He hitched up his pants with his thumbs and gave her a lusty smile.

Susan was startled into a chuckle. Bold as brass tacks, she thought. “Thanks,” she told him. “I needed a laugh.”

His face darkened. “You stupid or somethin’, sweetheart?”

“I’m just not interested. My boyfriend will be back in a few minutes. So why don’t you just run along?” 

Susan hated having to pull out the ‘I’m taken’ card just to get this asshole to leave her alone, but then she felt a rush of pleasure as she realized this was the first time she had called Hancock her boyfriend. Did he think of her as his girlfriend? Would she have the courage to ask him later?

“Boyfriend? I ain’t worried about that,” the drifter said, flexing his arms so his muscles bulged. “If he’s got a problem with me spending the evening with you, I’ll break him in half.”

“My boyfriend, the mayor,” she emphasized, “isn’t the one with the problem. I just told you I wasn’t interested. So please, fuck off!”

The big drifter’s face turned ugly and he stepped closer to her, now clearly intruding on her personal space. “Nobody talks to me like that. Especially not some stupid slut who don’t want a real man.”

The slender companion leaned forward. “Hey Brick, didn’t they tell us the mayor of Goodneighbor was a ghoul?”

Brick looked down at her in disgust. “That true? Are you some kind of freak? Are you into fuckin’ mutants?”

Susan blew a smoke ring and then smiled at him. “Yeah,” she said coldly.

“You’d rather have some fucking rotting meat in you than this?” he said incredulously. He flexed again, striking some poses. Did this asshole never give up? When she didn’t respond other than to cock her head, unfocus her gaze, and take a long drag off her cigarette, her lips pursed, the drifter clenched his fists. “You must be twisted up in the head. No wonder you’re such a fuckin’ rude bitch.”

“You’d better watch your tongue around the lady, pal,” came a gravelly voice from behind the Brick wall. Both the drifter and his companion turned to look, and Susan took the opportunity to slide her combat knife out of its thigh holster, concealing it in the folds of her dress. Hancock continued, “otherwise, you might lose it.”

“Is that a threat?” Brick sneered. “I could tear your arms off, ghoul. I’ve done it a thousand times to ferals. I ain’t afraid of you.”

“It’s a friendly warning, pal. I ain’t the one you gotta worry about. The lady don’t take kindly to being called a bitch.”

Brick turned incredulously to look at her. She gave him her most innocent smile, but inside she was seething. “I’m supposed to be scared of this rude ass cunt?”

“You’re right, Brick,” Susan said winningly, her voice filled with false apology. She put out her cigarette. “I HAVE been very rude.” 

She stood up, and in a flash had her knife at his throat, cutting deeply enough to draw blood. “I don’t like having to be rude,” she said through clenched teeth. “It makes me want to cut out your fucking voice box and feed it to you.” Brick’s hands moved slightly and Susan grabbed his hair with her other hand and pressed the knife in more deeply. “Do it,” she hissed. “Do it, fucker. I’d love nothing more than to splash these walls with your blood, you arrogant piece of shit.”

“I don’t wanna have to clean it up though,” Hancock snapped. “So how bout everybody take a few deep breaths and let’s see if we can end this without bloodshed.”

Blood already trickled down the drifter’s throat from the tip of Susan’s knife, but she didn’t correct Hancock. Glaring at Brick, she slowly released his hair and eased her knife back from his throat. She didn’t remove it entirely, though, until a quick survey of the room told her Fahrenheit and several Triggerman as well as Hancock had surrounded the duo, all armed. The music had stopped playing and you could have heard a pin drop in the Third Rail. She imagined everyone straining to hear what was going on in the VIP room.

Susan ostentatiously wiped her knife off on Brick’s shirt and stepped back. If it was up to her she would’ve taken them both outside Goodneighbor and killed them execution style, but it wasn’t up to her. Then she wondered when she had gotten so fucking cold. Could you really murder a man for being a pushy asshole? And his unnamed companion hadn’t really done anything. The world would be a safer place, especially for women, if this piece of shit was out of it, though, she thought.

“Get these meatbags outta here,” Hancock growled to the guards, and they seized the pair. Brick’s face screwed up and he spat at her. The spittle hit her dress and she looked down in fury.

“This ain’t over, bitch,” he said warningly. “I got friends.”

Her head slowly came back up. “Wait,” she said to Fahrenheit and the Triggermen holding him. Then she kicked Brick in the balls as hard as she could. Sweet satisfaction filled her as he crumpled, groaning. “That’s for calling me a bitch,” Susan told him. Then she kicked him in the face. “And that’s for getting my dress dirty. NOW it’s over.”

They hauled him off, his nose bleeding, and she collapsed back onto the sofa, shaking her head. “Hey sunshine,” Hancock chuckled, plopping down next to her. “You are one cutthroat gal, you know that? You keep this up, I'll start thinkin' the two of us are in competition for 'most loveable freak in the Commonwealth.'”

“What are you going to do with them?” Susan asked.

“Dunno, doll. They’ll be going to the State House basement for now. Got some cells down there. Like to put a bullet to that big one, but I ain’t sure he’s earned it. What happened? We got enough enemies without you makin’ more.”

Susan gaped at the unfairness of his statement. “He’s the one who came in here acting like all he had to do was flex his muscles and I’d fall onto his cock. I told him I wasn’t interested and he invaded my personal space. What the fuck was I supposed to do?” 

Then she saw that Hancock was grinning. “You asshole,” she laughed.

“Just sayin, doll. We either gotta kill ‘em now or always have to worry about ‘em tryna shank us from the shadows. That’s the way of the Commonwealth.”

Susan didn’t respond. She knew he was right, and she’d had the same thoughts, but now that she had calmed down she wished there was another way. It’s not like she could take out a restraining order against him, though, or try to have him thrown in jail. He hadn’t even done anything that would have been considered jail-worthy in the old world. Technically, she had assaulted him. 

She sighed heavily, suddenly and achingly tired of feeling like she had to watch her back all the time.

Hancock put his arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry about it right now, doll. We’ll deal with them in the morning.” He handed her a bottle of bourbon and she took a long drink. I guess I don’t have to watch my back all the time, Susan thought, looking up at him. 

Later that night, in Hancock’s bed, she was hungry for him. She wasn’t usually aggressive in intimate situations, but this incident had reemphasized the vast differences between this new life and her old one, and she felt desperate for something that made her feel good, made her feel like she could push through another day.

Hancock seemed a little surprised by her eagerness, but he just gave her a cocky grin when she pushed him down onto the bed, and he crossed his arms behind his neck like he was expecting a show. So she gave him one, sliding her dress down sensually in increments, touching herself erotically, never taking her eyes off of his. When she teasingly turned around and bent over before slowly sliding her panties down her legs, he growled appreciatively.

Climbing onto him, Susan covered him with kisses, stroking his broad shoulders, sliding her fingers under his shirt to caress his chest, while he let his own hands roam over her naked body. She rubbed herself against him, and he made a low noise in his throat. Unbuckling his belt and unfastening his pants, she took him into her mouth and soon had him groaning, his hands tangled in her hair. She stopped before he could finish and pulled herself up to straddle him again.

She moved to maneuver him inside her, but Hancock stopped her. “I ain’t had my turn yet,” he said huskily, and surprised her by flipping them both over so she was on her back. She let out a startled laugh. When he started to move down her body, she said shyly, “Actually, I thought maybe you could… Watch my back.” She blushed and bit her lip.

“I love it when a lady knows what she wants,” Hancock purred, and he rolled off so she could get up. “Face the door, doll.” He never liked to be in any room without facing the door. Using his skilled fingers and deft tongue, he worked her up to climax with ease. She was wet and ready for him, and he pushed his cock into her smoothly.

He started off as slowly and carefully as he always did, thrusting shallowly, cognizant of accidentally hurting her, but it didn’t hurt. It felt amazing and she purred her pleasure at the warm feel of his hands on her hips, the length of him inside her.

Susan had just closed her eyes and started to push back against him on each thrust when the door burst open. “What the fuck?” Hancock grated, his hands moving to wrap a blanket around her bare torso. “Kind of busy here...”

He trailed off as a man in cage armor stepped into the room, pointing a syringer rifle at Hancock. He held a pistol in his other hand, propping up the rifle. The stranger was tall with dark hair and startlingly blue eyes. Susan thought he seemed somehow familiar. 

He smiled at them as if they were all at a dinner party and someone had just told him a joke. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said in jovial voice. A woman stepped into the room, dressed similarly and carrying a shotgun.

“All clear,’ she said to him, then gave Hancock and Susan a disgusted look. 

“Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room?” Hancock growled.

“I’ll be asking the questions, Hancock,” the man said, still smiling. Susan wondered if he was some kind of psychopath. “But you can call me Panzer.”

“What the fuck do you want?” Hancock said roughly.

The man shook his head and looked at Hancock like he was a naughty child. “I said I was the one asking the questions, Mr. Mayor. If you don’t behave, I’ll have to see if a few bullet holes can help you remember simple instructions. But I can see you’re eager to get through the introductions, so I’ll forge ahead. I heard from a friend of a friend that you had a little incident today with someone I know. Does the name Brick ring a bell?”

“Never heard of ‘em,” Hancock said.

Panzer the Psychopath gave him an exaggerated frown. “I don’t like it when people lie to me, Hancock. I have it on very good authority that some hard ass bitch cut my brother and kicked him in the balls before you locked him up in your basement.” He eyed Susan, taking in her long blonde hair, her lithe figure, her wide-eyed expression. “It couldn’t be this pretty little thing, could it?” he asked incredulously.

“What, this?” Hancock said. He slapped her ass so hard she jumped and gasped. “Nah, just a floozy I picked up in town.”

“Give us a look,” Panzer said persuasively. 

Susan felt her cheeks grow warm. Hancock didn’t move, so she didn’t either. The man took a step closer to the bed and pointed the syringer at them in a ‘go ahead,’ motion. 

“Come on, come on, don’t be shy. Get a fistful of that pretty blonde hair and pull her up so I can take a look.” When Hancock still didn’t move, Panzer cocked the hammer on his pistol and pointed it at the mayor’s head. “Do it.”

Susan felt Hancock’s hand slide up her neck and into her hair. He pulled her up slowly so she was fully exposed to the room, his cock slipping out of her. She felt her blush deepen as Panzer whistled his appreciation of her bare body.

“Damn,” he said, nodding, his eyebrows up as he raked her with his gaze. “They said you were one of those guys who always had the hottest piece of ass around in your bed, Hancock. How do you do it with that ugly mug?”

“Like it?” Hancock rasped. “I think it gives me a sexy, king of the zombies kinda look. Big hit with the ladies.”

Panzer chuckled in disbelief. “No, really!” The man seemed genuinely curious.

“Caps and chems,” Hancock growled.

The man laughed again as if Hancock had said the funniest thing in the world. He slid the pistol into a holster. Then he reached out his free hand to squeeze Susan’s breast, tweaking the nipple hard enough to make her wince. Her mind was racing. Hancock had given her an opportunity, if she could just figure out how to use it. 

“How much did this one cost?” Panzer asked, looking into her eyes, his hand still groping her.

“She wasn’t cheap,” Hancock said.

“I charged him extra cuz he’s a ghoul,” Susan said in a falsetto Boston accent. “Come find me when you’re done with this,” she continued, giving Hancock a dismissive sidelong glance, “and I’ll give YOU a discount.” She batted her eyelashes at Panzer.

“You fuckin’ bitch,” Hancock rasped, and the quick squeeze on the back of her head was all the warning she had before he pushed her off the bed. 

Instead of catching herself as she easily could have, Susan took a theatrical tumble onto the floor, pulling the blanket with her and struggling to wrap it around herself, swearing loudly. Panzer was laughing and slapping his knee like they were a comedy duo, and the woman with him rolled her eyes away, looking bored. 

So it was easy for Susan to pull Hancock’s .45 out from its hidden spot under the bed. She concealed it in the folds of the blanket and got up, trying to look humiliated and angry.

It wasn’t hard.

“Let the floozy go,” Hancock said dismissively as he refastened his pants and belt. “She’s no part of this. Was my bodyguard Fahrenheit fucked up your brother.”

Susan gave Panzer a pleading look. He shrugged at her and pointed towards the door with his chin. “Don’t go too far, though, gorgeous, I want to take you up on that offer.” She giggled and blushed, trying to look as harmless and adorable as possible as she slipped out. She pulled the door almost shut.

Outside, Nicky was on the floor, not moving. She didn’t know if he was dead or just incapacitated, but either way he was no use to her. She could try to go get help, but she didn’t know how long Hancock had. Panzer could be about to blow his head off any second. 

Susan assessed her options. What she really wanted to do was run, escape, get away.

But she didn’t. Instead, she dropped the blanket on the floor since it was an impediment. She rolled Nicky over and grabbed his 10 mil with her right hand. Nude and with a gun in each hand, she crept back to the door. Taking a deep breath, she quickly but silently pushed the door open and practically leaped into the room.

The woman saw her first, and her eyes widened as she started to bring her shotgun around, but she froze halfway through the motion as Susan swung the 10 mil unerringly at her face. She pointed the .45 in her left hand at the back of Panzer’s head. 

“Don’t move,” she snarled, her false accent gone. “I’d be perfectly happy to blow both your heads off. I was having a very lovely time, and now you’ve ruined it. That’s the kind of thing that could make a girl angry.” She cocked both guns dramatically. “You don’t want to make me angry.”

“Panzer, Panzer's friend, meet my girlfriend, Susan,” Hancock said, and she could hear the pride and approval in his voice. She grinned at him. Well, that was one question answered.

“Put your weapons on the floor, one at a time. No fast moves. You first,” she said to the woman, gesturing with the 10 mil.

As the woman bent slowly to the ground Panzer spoke casually, stepping slightly left. “It’s almost impossible to accurately aim with two pistols in different directions,” he said conversationally. “Especially with the weak hand.”

Susan looked up at Hancock. She couldn’t see both Panzer and the woman while looking one way or the other. So she was staring at her boyfriend when the woman pulled a gun from her boot at the same time Panzer crouched, pulled his pistol out, and aimed around his chest with lightning speed.

Susan pulled both triggers almost simultaneously. Two cracks were followed by two yells, one baritone, one soprano, and two thumps on the ground. She had shot the guns out of each of their grasps. Blood dripped from hands and Panzer wore an expression of disbelief. 

She tore her gaze from Hancock. “I’m left-handed,” she told Panzer. “And I have excellent peripheral vision. Drop your weapon, now! The next round goes in your brainpan.” Panzer slowly bent down to put the rifle on the ground, then straightened back up. Hancock collected the gun, checked the ammo, then held it pointed at Panzer.

“Just a stun round, sunshine,” he informed her. Susan felt a flood of relief. Nicky and the other guards were probably still alive. She nodded and then pointed with her chin at the woman. Hancock stripped her of weapons.

“Here’s the situation,” Susan said calmly. “I’m no stranger to killing, but I don’t want to have to waste you two over a misunderstanding. Panzer, your brother is an asshole but he didn’t do anything worth killing over. So why don’t you two just go sit down over there,” and she gestured to the couch with a gun, “And let’s see if we can come to some kind of understanding. Because if we can’t, I’m going to have to fucking kill you all. Including your brother and his friend.”

They sat. Susan handed Hancock his .45 and collected her clothes with her free hand. “You got this for a minute?” she asked him. He just nodded. She left the room with her head held high. 

When she returned, neatly dressed, Hancock was sitting on the bed, everyone was smoking a cigarette, and both bloody hands were bandaged. They all looked at her. Susan sat on the bed next to Hancock, feeling oddly shy. She didn’t really like it when people stared at her. He handed her his cigarette and she took a drag.

“So, like I was sayin’, this shit with Brick, I ain’t holdin’ it against you. But that asshole came in tryna talk to my girl like she was a whore. When she made her disinterest known, he got belligerent and bullied her. She snapped back. That’s all there is to it.” Hancock looked at Susan quizzically and she nodded, understanding the question immediately. She had checked Nicky’s pulse and he was alive, just stunned, as were the rest of the guards. Fahrenheit had recovered first and was snapping orders at everyone, pissed by her inability to keep out the intruders.

“You didn’t kill none of my people,” Hancock continued, “and I ain’t got a great desire to put you two in a grave. I know what it’s like when your family don’t always have the same ideals as you. If I release your brother into your custody, do I have your assurance that you will keep him in check and off my fuckin’ ass?”

Panzer nodded solemnly. He studied Hancock. “Your reputation precedes you, Mayor Hancock,” he said respectfully. “But they didn’t mention that you were a reasonable man.” He turned to Susan. “You taught me something today, beautiful,” he said. Then he grinned unexpectedly. He gave her a mock scowl. “I won’t forget next time,” he told her, and Susan laughed incredulously, wondering if she had just made friends with a psychopath. That would be on par with her new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this chapter thinking about how a woman would probably have to worry about harassment in the Commonwealth more than the game ever discusses. Then I thought about what the actual consequences of something like what Susan does might be. Then it just got kind of crazy. I hope it doesn’t seem too outrageous to be believable! It was a romp to write.


	6. "Somethin' to Think About"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock doesn’t understand why Susan is so withdrawn, and it takes some serious effort to get her to talk about it. He ends up opening up about a secret from his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little conversation between these two. I love writing Hancock’s POV. TONS of actual Hancock quotes.

Hancock sat in his spot in the VIP room at the Third Rail. His arm was around Susan’s shoulders, but it would’ve been a stretch to say he felt close to her. Wherever she actually was, it wasn’t sitting next to him in the Rail. 

She joked about being half in, half out, but this was more than that. It was like what made Susan, Susan, was gone entirely and what remained was just enough to animate the shell of her body. She smiled, she greeted people, she smoked, she drank whiskey. It was possible to make small talk with her, but she was adept at ending conversations. She’d been like this for hours, and Hancock decided it was time to bring her back to reality.

“Hey, doll,” he said, giving her shoulders a little shake with his arm. Susan gave him an apologetic smile, but her eyes didn’t focus on him, and it was like he was holding an actual doll. “Whatcha thinking bout, sunshine?”

Her brow furrowed in thought. “I was trying to decide if I should go with that boosted gamma wave emitter on my plasma rifle, or if I should try to overcharge the capacitor,” she said. Susan had been fiddling around with the rifle for a week now between Railroad missions. “Deacon said he could show me how. He might’ve been lying, though.”

Hancock chuckled, which he was sure had been Susan’s intent. She still wasn’t looking at him and he thought to himself, bullshit. That probably was one of the things she was thinking about, but it was also likely the casual conversation piece she’d kept ready in case he asked her what she was thinking about, so she could avoid telling him the shit she was actually thinking about.

“He does that,” Hancock replied, nodding. 

The Railroad agent, Deacon, was known for changing his face and his disguise on a regular basis, and he only had a passing acquaintance with the truth. Hancock hadn’t been thrilled at the idea of her traveling with him, but he seemed competent enough and Susan was obviously determined to help the Railroad’s synth rescuing efforts, so he tolerated the man. “Thought you decided to stick with the gamma wave, doll. Somethin’ bout burning damage?”

Susan shrugged, and Hancock had the distinct impression that if he just stopped talking she would slip away again. “What else is rattlin’ around that pretty little head?”

“How many things do you imagine I must be thinking about?” she asked him drily.

Hancock put his shoulders up and gave her a look like he thought it could be a countless amount, and she rolled her eyes.

“I hacked into Kleo’s terminal the other day,” Susan said in a confidential tone. “Did I tell you?” Hancock shook his head. “She has contingency plans in there to kill all the major players in Goodneighbor.”

“No shit? What about me?”

“For you it said, ‘Kill bodyguard first. Strangulation while she sleeps. Then load all doses of chems in the Old State House with poisons. Collateral damage possible, but losses acceptable without too much disruption to the business.’” Susan grinned. “I memorized it because I knew you’d ask.”

“Holy fuck,” Hancock said, feeling unsettled, scrutinizing the Jet next to him with suspicion. He was pondering that scenario when he realized Susan was back in her own world and she had successfully given him something to think about that would shut him up: another red herring. Well played, General, he thought as he looked at her. 

“Panzer came by this afternoon,” Hancock tried again.

He got a tiny grin out of her. “I saw him on my way in from the ruins,” Susan told him. She shook her head. “We didn’t talk. He put his hands up and backed away from me when he saw me, pretending like he was scared.”

“Maybe he wasn’t pretendin’. You know, doll, that was some crazy fuckin’ shit you did. When you busted in there, not wearing a stitch, guns blazing...” Hancock whistled in admiration, remembering. 

The smile slid off Susan’s face. It was like he thought, then. Whatever was twisting her up had something to do with that night. Hancock persisted. “That was the sexiest shit I’ve ever seen, hands down. Then when you shot the guns outta their hands.... Well, I just about came in my pants,” he chuckled. 

Susan gave him the ghost of a smile. Her eyes were fixed on a spot on the wall.

“Didn’t even know you could use a pistol like that,” Hancock added. “Only ever seen ya with a rifle or a shotgun.”

“I started with pistols when I came out of the vault,” Susan said tonelessly. “I had shot one before and they were lighter. Ammo everywhere. Eventually I found a sniper rifle.” She shrugged. 

“But the best part was the way you played ‘em,” Hancock continued. “Damn, baby. I was hopin’ you’d pick up my vibe and play along, but you stole the whole fuckin’ show. When you tiptoed outta there blushin’ and flirtin’, they both completely dismissed you as a possible threat.” 

Susan was unresponsive and Hancock gave her a small shake again as he said, “That was masterful, sunshine. You’re a hell of an actress.”

Susan finally looked at him, her face blank. “Yeah,” she said flatly. “That’s kind of my MO, you know? Manipulating people.” She said it like it was an epithet.

“Not this again, doll. I got no qualms about our relationship.”

“I don’t mean you,” Susan said. “Well, at least, not just you,” she amended when he gave her a look. “I feel like I’m manipulating Deacon and Desdemona, too. I don’t really care about the Railroad’s agenda. I just have a strong feeling I’ll need their help once I have the courser chip. So really, I’m just playing them like I play everybody else.”

Hancock wanted to argue, to tell her she was just using her resources, to defend her actions, but one thing he’d learned about Susan was that the wrong word at the wrong time could clam her up in a heartbeat. This was the first time in hours she’d put that many words together at once. So he took the best advice she’d ever given him and kept his fucking mouth shut. He rubbed her knee and squeezed her shoulder instead, wondering where she was going with this.

“I always feel like that,” she said, and it was almost a whisper. He had to strain to hear her. “It’s like there is no Susan. There’s just… all these masks I wear, and the act that goes with each of them. Like everything that’s happening is just a show, and I play these parts, but I never actually decide anything about my own life. Everyone wants something from me, but no one asks what I want.”

“Hey,” Hancock interjected. “That ain’t true.”

Susan swallowed. “You do, Hancock. I know you do. But still. I put on my mayor’s girlfriend mask when I’m here with you, my Sole Survivor mask in the ruins, my General mask when I’m acting as a Minuteman. That night, I don’t even know what kind of mask I put on to do that.” Hancock gave her shoulders an encouraging squeeze.

“This world - my life - is so thoroughly different from what it was before the war, so shockingly, violently different. I’ve been out of Vault 111 for one hundred and eleven days today,” she told him, shaking her head in disbelief. “Not even four months. Sometimes it feels like an eternity, like this is the only life I’ve ever known, and sometimes I still wake up looking for Nate, for Shaun.”

Hancock raised his brow. Damn, he thought. So that’s why she sometimes looked like she was about to cry when she opened her eyes in the morning.

“I think about the things I’ve done since I woke up and they seem like a dream. When I think about the things I need to do, they seem impossible. But then when I go to do them, the mask comes out, and suddenly it’s like I’m someone else. I even FEEL different,” Susan said. Her eyes were starting to look wild. “You know, I almost didn’t come back into the room,” she confessed. “I thought about running.”

“I expected you to run, sunshine,” Hancock informed her. “That’s why I gave you an out.”

“But then it was like the mask just slid into place and I found myself doing things I couldn’t believe.” Hancock made soothing noises as she began to tremble just slightly. “It makes me question everything,” Susan said. “Like, is any of this really even happening? Did I really wake up, or am I still dreaming? Am I even real?” She hugged herself, her eyes fluttering shut. “Are you real?” she asked in a thin voice. He pulled her into his lap and he didn’t like the passive way she slumped into him. 

“Lemme tell ya, sunshine,” Hancock said huskily into her ear. “When it’s just you and me in bed and I’m deep inside you, and you start moanin’ my name like you can’t even help yourself, well, that’s the realest shit in the whole damn world.” 

She didn’t respond. Hancock wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her hard, slap her maybe, shout at her to fucking pull herself together. “You still in there, doll?”

Susan pulled away and got to her feet, and he helped her although he wanted to keep holding her. After shutting the door as if to make sure they would have privacy, even though hardly anyone was in the Rail, she came back and would have sat next to him, but Hancock indicated he wanted her closer, and she climbed back onto his lap, her legs stretched out to his side. 

“You’re the only reason sometimes I can even make myself get up every day and do it again, John,” Susan told him. “I haven’t wanted to tell you that, because it’s a heavy kind of thing to lay on someone. I already feel like I… Put enough on you. I don’t want to make you feel like you’re responsible for my happiness. Or my life. I don’t know how much of a burden you… You can continue to…” She stopped and shook her head like she didn’t know what she was trying to say. 

“You ain’t a burden, doll,” Hancock said huskily. “You’re the best thing ever happened to me. Don’t know how many times I gotta tell ya.”

“You always make me feel like it’s not like that, but when I think about how much you’ve changed your life because of me… I just wonder when too much is too much. I knew from the beginning you weren’t one for long term relationships, John. Does that even make any sense?”

Hancock looked at her in wonder. “You really don’t know, do ya, sunshine? All the changes in my life since I met you have been good ones. You really think the reason I didn’t have a relationship with anyone here in Goodneighbor, why I just played around and got fucked up, was cuz that’s what I wanted? It was because I couldn’t make a real connection with anyone. I hated myself, so I couldn’t see why anyone would love me,” he added, his voice hoarse. 

He took a deep breath. “That’s why I told you about what happened with Vic and his crew. With… With my brother, that fat sack of shit. Never told anyone the full story before you. I always thought if someone knew what I’d done they must hate me for it… or else that I would hate them, because we wouldn’t be the kind of people who see eye-to-eye.”

“You just did what you had to do,” Susan said. “Anyone who cared about you would understand that.” She looked down. “I guess I always figured this thing had an expiration date on it. I keep expecting you to get tired of all my passive aggressive bullshit.”

“Listen, sunshine. Being with you, it's made me realize. Most of my life to this point, I've been running out on the good things I got. I skipped out on my family, my life in Diamond City. Took up with you just to get outta Goodneighbor.” He paused. Would this be the thing that would finally scare her away? Or would she be able to accept his darkest secret? “Hell, running from myself is what made me into... into a damn ghoul.”

Susan pulled back to study his face. “Running from yourself? What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, I didn’t always look this good. The drug that did this to me, that made me a ghoul, I knew what it was gonna do.” Hancock looked away from the haunted look in her eyes. His voice was rough. “I just couldn't stand looking at the bastard I saw in the mirror anymore. The coward who'd let all those ghouls from Diamond City die. Who was too scared to protect his fellow drifters from Vic and his boys. If I took it, I'd never have to look at him again. I could put that all behind me. I'd be free. Didn't seem like a choice at all. Turns out it was just me runnin’ from somethin' else in my life.”

“You may have run, but you always ran for a reason, John,” Susan said, but he’d seen the horror on her face when she realized what he was telling her. 

“So lemme get to the point,” Hancock continued. “Throwing in with you has been the best decision I've ever made. It's like I found a part of myself I never realized was missing... which happens sometimes when you're a ghoul.” 

She rewarded him with a startled chuckle, and he made himself look back at her face. The horror had been replaced by a tender sadness that he didn’t quite understand. 

“I almost wish we could find another dose of that drug,” Susan said, and the tension drained out of him.

“You know, we figure out how to turn you ghoul, we could do this long term. Somethin’ to think about.”

Susan shook her head slowly, but she had a tiny smile. “I don’t think you’d love me if I was a ghoul. I think half the reason you love me is how I look. My body.”

“Less than half. Something else matters more to me than your body,” Hancock told her, grinning again now, glad he had been able to use humor to lighten the mood, relieved beyond belief that the horror on her face had been for what he’d been though, not him.

Susan rolled her green eyes dramatically. “I suppose you’re going to say my brain.”

“Nah, tits,” Hancock said, and buried his face in them, blowing a raspberry on her chest. Soon her silvery, genuine laughter was ringing throughout the room.

“That’s part of my body!” 

“You know what I actually love most about you, sunshine?”

“What?”

“Your sass,” Hancock said. “Your spirit. Never met a woman who saw past the surface, who saw me as a person, not like you do. You know sometimes you gotta do terrible things to right an injustice. The world knocks you down but you just get right back up and keep shootin’.”

“Sometimes I don’t want to,” Susan said softly. “Sometimes I don’t feel like I can.”

“But you do,” Hancock reminded her. “You’re ready. Let’s go kill that fuckin’ courser tomorrow so you’ll stop dwellin’ on it. You’re plenty prepared. Probably over-prepared. Didn’t you tell me you killed a sea monster takin’ back the Castle? Gonna feel like a cake walk.”

“I’m scared. Not even of the courser, really. I’m gonna wear my power armor and I’m going to take him out like everything else. I killed two deathclaws. I killed that queen mirelurk. I can kill a courser. What I’m really scared of is… What comes next. Rescuing Shaun was the whole reason I was doing this. But am I really ready to meet my son? Who was raised by the Institute? What kind of fucking mask will I pull out then? Do I have some kind of maternal mask that I don’t even know about? I never even really wanted a baby,” Susan confessed, her voice quavering. “It was Nate who pushed to adopt. I’d always had so many problems with my… With my health. Then once I find him, what do I do? There’s just so many questions, and I don’t even know if I want the answers.” She laughed shakily.

“We’ll just have to see. I’ll be there to help ya,” Hancock reminded her.

“And that’s all assuming I survive being transported. You won’t be able to help me when I’m inside the Institute.”

That was the truth, and he didn’t know what else to say. “Let’s get out of here,” he growled, and she just nodded. Back in his room, they made love, and it was good, but Susan was in her own world again, and Hancock knew it.


	7. "She'll Be Back"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock wakes up alone. Susan has left to kill the courser without him. But why? While he waits to see if she will return, he prepares a surprise for her.

The next morning, Susan was gone when Hancock woke up.

At first, he thought she might just be up before him. It occasionally happened, and he knew she was probably anxious. But he didn’t find her in the bathroom or in his office or anywhere in the State House. No one had seen her.

At Kill or Be Killed, Susan’s power armor suit was gone. Kleo said it had simply disappeared, no doubt concealed by a stealth field, but she had heard Susan’s voice telling her she’d be back soon. 

Hancock went to the Third Rail, grinding his teeth. He tried to just walk past Ham, the doorman, but the ghoul stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Heya boss, I gotta tell you somethin’.”

“What?” Hancock growled. Then he realized what it must be. “You’ve seen her, haven’t you? Where is she?”

“She’s gone, boss, she appeared outta nowhere about an hour ago and told me she had to go take care of something. She told me to tell you she couldn’t take you with her but she’d be back as soon as she was finished.” Ham swallowed when he saw the look of fury on Hancock’s face. “Then she just disappeared again before I could say anything! I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right, Ham,” Hancock grated. “I ain’t mad at you.” He went back to the State House and stretched out on the bed, thinking. So she’d decided to go without him. But why? 

He lay there until he couldn’t stand the sharp tang of his own self-pity anymore, then he got up and ate some Mentats. There was something he’d been wanting to do and the long painful hours between now and when Susan returned - if she returned - seemed like the perfect time.

Hancock was sitting in his spot in the VIP room that evening, thinking, when he knew she was back. It wasn’t some kind of sixth sense. It was just the murmur that always went up when she entered any room. Everyone rustled as they turned to look, everyone wanted to greet her. The chorus of Susans filled his ears well before her profile filled his vision.

Hancock had a moment of déjà vu, and he half wondered if she would go to the bar and talk to Charlie first like the day she’d returned to Goodneighbor. But of course she didn’t. She seemed excited and came straight towards him, although the wide smile on her face faded when she saw the expression on his.

She stopped at the door and bit her lip. “Am I in very much trouble?” she asked in a small voice. But her eyes twinkled, and Hancock knew he wouldn’t be able to stay mad long. Not when the mechanical husk from last night had been replaced with this sparkling version of Susan. 

“You could probably convince me to lessen your punishment if you come sit on my lap, sunshine.” She giggled as she complied, straddling him, her hands on his face.

“I did it,” she told him. “It was just like you said. I was over-prepared. I mean, it wasn’t exactly easy, but I didn’t even need a Stimpak! He used a stealth boy but it was like I could still see him by the shimmer. That plasma rifle is wicked. Up to the courser, it was one shot kills all the way.”

“Didja go with the overcharged capacitor?”

“Yeah! I went to Railroad HQ this morning and we figured it out. Then I went to Diamond City and got Nick, and we...”

“Wait,” Hancock said, trying to hide the stab of betrayal he felt as she said the name Nick. “I wanna hear everything, doll. Every detail. But first, I need to know the answer to one question.” He looked down, took a deep breath, and then looked back up at her, wondering if he could put all the questions he had into one. “Why?”

Susan just looked at him for a moment, shaking her head slightly. “You really don’t know, do you?” she said teasingly.

“Much as I love our game of throwin’ each other’s words around, what I really want is the truth, sunshine,” Hancock replied.

She caressed his face, touching him like no one else had since he became a ghoul. “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. I told you last night. My fear of the courser killing you had me paralyzed. You’re the only thing I’m living for right now, and I couldn’t take the chance. I just couldn’t,” she told him fiercely. “The only way I could reconcile my cognitive dissonance was to take someone else. And I couldn’t tell you because I knew you would try to stop me.” Then she kissed him, passionately, lovingly, and for a few minutes there was nothing but the feel of her in his arms, her mouth on his.

“I don’t know if you understand how much that means to me,” Hancock said gruffly when he could speak again. “Been goin’ over in my mind what I could’ve done to get someone like you. I’ll tell ya, there ain’t a lot.”

Susan kissed him again and he let himself just enjoy it, reveling in the fact that she was here and alive and she loved him. “You’ve done so much for me, I can’t even quantify it,” she told him. “All I want from you is to keep living our lives, together.”

Hancock raised his brow. “That mean you don’t want your surprise?”

Susan’s mouth dropped open. “Surprise?”

He laughed and stood up, letting her slide to the floor. “Come on,” he said huskily. He led her up and out into town, then to the right towards her apartment. Both of them greeted Kleo briefly but cordially. They were halfway up the stairs when an unfamiliar noise echoed through the building. Susan froze; he had to tug her along, grinning, and he knew she had recognized the sound.

“Is it...” she started, pushing open the door. The loud mew of a kitten had her gasping and frantically searching. The tricolor cat had curled up in her book crate and was meowing unhappily at being left alone. “Holy shit,” she shrieked, cradling the little ball of fluff in her hands. “You got me a cat?”

The little animal had stopped meowing and was staring up at Susan. It made a more plaintive sound. “I know,” she crooned to it, dropping to the bed, and cuddled it sweetly, stroking its face with her gentle fingers until the kitten seemed mesmerized. It began to purr. 

Yeah, kid, Hancock thought. I know the feeling.

“Do you like him?” he asked huskily.

“Her,” Susan corrected him, her green eyes never leaving the kitten. “The gene for different colors is carried on the X chromosome, so only female cats can express two colors unless a male cat has a chromosomal abnormality. White is carried on a separate gene.” She kissed the little white nose. 

“Ever the scientist,” Hancock replied, amused. Susan looked up at him finally. Her emerald gaze penetrated him. 

“Thank you,” she said. She looked down at the kitten, stroking the soft fur. “This is a wonderful surprise.”

“You were right, doll. It’s a lot to put on one person, bein’ the only thing they’re living for. I thought I’d remind you there’s a hell of a lot more out there for you to care about. I remember you tellin’ me how much you love cats.” Hancock indicated the painting hanging over her bed, two kittens playing. “Figured she might be able to help you get started.”

As Susan stroked the purring furball, she told Hancock about killing the courser. She was touching soft whiskers when she told him about following the signal to Greenetech Genetics, how many gunners were there, how she had plowed through them with her plasma rifle. She tickled a soft white belly as she explained how the courser had engaged a stealth boy after her head shot had barely phased him, about how she had been able to see where he was even then because of her experience with stealth fields. She was holding a tiny paw when she told him about freeing Jenny, a synth the Institute had sent the courser to collect; about cutting out the chip from the courser’s brain. Hancock could tell that having the kitten as a distraction made it easier for her to describe what must’ve been very difficult for her to do.

She had just finished her story when the kitten got up, stretched, and climbed out the window. Susan looked concerned at first, but Hancock said, “She’s fine, doll. I made sure she can come and go. Can’t keep a wild animal like that caged up, anyways. She knows where her bread is buttered. Food’s in the corner. She’ll be back.”

“Kinda like me,” Susan said saucily, propping her head up on her hand. She gave him that crooked smile, then waggled her fingers at him, an invitation. He joined her on the bed. She snuggled into his nook, making happy noises. “Thanks for understanding. I was afraid you’d be mad.”

“Can’t stay mad at you,” Hancock said in a husky voice. He stoked her soft skin. She responded enthusiastically, and soon they were kissing and fondling each other like teenagers who had just discovered their bodies. 

Susan broke away before he would’ve moved to put his mouth twixt her nethers. “Wait,” she said. “Let’s take a shower first!” as if it was the most erotic thing in the world, and Hancock chuckled at her enthusiasm. Once they were in there, though, he felt like he understood her sensual pleasure of the experience in a way he never had before, and he went down on her there with the water pouring over them.

Hancock would’ve taken her right there in the shower but he didn’t want to waste water and he didn’t want to feel rushed. In her bed, though, he pushed her down onto her back and showed her how thorough, gentle, and passionate he could be. And after he had Susan moaning his name like she couldn’t help herself, and she was relaxed in every way, he flipped her over and showed her the other side of him until she was the one growling in satisfaction. He didn’t let himself peak until she was practically limp. They fell asleep in a tangle of limbs.

Hancock woke up in the middle of the night and she was gone. He had a moment of panic, but then he saw the light on in the bathroom. He hesitated, but when he didn’t hear anything for a couple minutes, he decided to knock on the door. It creaked open. Susan was just sitting on the closed toilet, wrapped in a towel, staring at the courser chip.

“Everything all right, doll?” he asked her. “Why don’t you come back to bed. Can’t do anything about that right now.”

“I’m going to take it to Amari tomorrow, but I doubt she’s going to be able to help me. It’s going to have to be the Railroad. But then I’ll be giving them access to the information, too.” Susan seemed troubled by the thought.

“Be better if the whole world could get into the Institute, sunshine,” Hancock told her. She looked surprised. “Whatever they think they’re doing down there, the killing machines they send up here tells me well enough what kind of people they are.”

Susan stared at the chip. “They murdered Nate. They stole Shaun. I want to know why. After I get my answers, I guess I don’t really care what happens to them.”

Hancock pulled her up and in bed, she wanted to hold him, so they lay with his back to her front, and soon she was asleep again. It took longer for him, with her flat, chilling voice echoing in his mind.


	8. "Only Have One Life"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan has been a busy girl. Everything is in place for her to go to the Institute. But leaving Hancock and Goodneighbor is the farthest thing from her mind. Hancock makes a suggestion to Susan that makes her reconsider everything she knows about relationships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter and the next two chapters are all actual Hancock quotes.

Susan lay in her cozy bed, gently stroking the kitten Hancock had given her, who she had named Hope. She knew it was a cliché, trite, bromidic even; but it was also the truth. I’m as corny as Kansas in August, high as a flag on the Fourth of July, she thought. Hancock certainly was a wonderful guy.

Still, she had gently but firmly told him she would be going to Railroad HQ by herself after Amari proved unable to help with the chip. Susan had never taken anyone there. She didn’t want them to have all her secrets, but she didn’t want to give away theirs, either. 

That had been over a month ago. Hope seemed to have almost doubled in size. Susan playfully tickled the cat’s ear, smiling in satisfaction as she thought about how deftly she had handled the whole situation.

She had taken the chip to the Railroad, and they had analyzed it and given her the courser code on a holodisk. She’d had to surrender the chip, and then make another harrowing trip into the Glowing Sea, this time with a stealth boy attachment equipped to her power armor. 

But she had taken Virgil’s Signal Interceptor plans to Sturges and the Minutemen, and they had built the actual transporter in Sanctuary. Only she, with both the signal holo and access to the plans, could go to the Institute. 

Only Susan, with her vast array of connections, had the resourcefulness to actually get inside that inaccessible fortress.

All the pieces of the puzzle had been in place for over a week now, but Susan hadn’t gone. She hesitated, she delayed, she hedged. She worked on her power armor and mods for her guns. She stockpiled Stimpaks. She fretted about what would happen to Hope if she couldn’t return quickly. And she thought about what Mama Murphy had told her when she had finally given in to the old woman’s request for Med-X, which had triggered her special sight.

While the transporter had been being built, Susan had gone back to the ruins of Vault 111 with Hancock. “Damn. Hey, look, if you wanna get outta here…?” he’d said when she started to cry upon seeing Nate’s body.

“No,” she had said. “I want you to help me bury him. Please?” Hancock had done so without complaint, and they made a litter and carried her husband’s body back to Sanctuary, where she created a small memorial burial plot for him.

Needing some time away from Hancock after that, Susan had also gone back to Vault 111 with Dogmeat and picked a locked case she had seen when she first came out of the vault, but before she had sharpened her lockpicking skills. So now she had a cryolater to add to her impressive stockpile of weapons.

Susan thought again about what Mama Murphy had told her. “I see you surrounded by outstretched hands. Everyone needs your help, kid. Everyone wants you to see things their way. And whether you want it or not... you’re gonna have to decide which ways of life keep going in the Commonwealth, and which end...”

I don’t want it, Susan thought. She had never wanted that kind of responsibility over someone else’s life. She hadn’t even wanted to have children. Who was she to think that she could decide the fate of the Commonwealth? She didn’t even really belong here, did she? 150 days, that was exactly how long it had been since she woke up in this post-war world. How could that possibly be long enough for her to truly appreciate the dynamic of this strange place?

Her thoughts kept drifting away from the Railroad and the Brotherhood and the Minutemen toward Hancock, Goodneighbor, and the flourishing community they were building together. The weather had been getting cooler and Susan kept thinking about how it was only a month until Christmas. Did anyone around here decorate? Did they exchange gifts? Sing carols? She would have to ask Hancock. Glancing at the time on her Pip Boy, she decided to head over to the Rail for dinner. They could talk about the holidays and she could put off her task another day.

The mood was lively in the Third Rail, and Susan smiled with genuine happiness at the alert, friendly expressions she saw on faces. Was it holiday spirit, or just the changes that had been brought on the Commonwealth? She waved at Charlie and at the second bartender Hancock had hired, a polite ghoul drifter named Steve. Hancock was in the VIP room chatting with a small crowd, and she cuddled up next to him with a sigh.

When there was a lull in the conversation, Susan spoke. “So how do you all celebrate Christmas around here?” She was met with a sea of blank faces.

“Guess we don’t, really,” Hancock said with a shrug.

“Christmas isn’t the kind of thing you worry about when you’re just trying to survive,” Fahrenheit said, sounding like she thought Susan’s question was ridiculous.

“Well, are we?” Susan asked. “Just trying to survive, I mean. We have plenty of supplies, shelter, water. What’s the point if we can’t enjoy ourselves every now and then?”

Fahrenheit just rolled her eyes, and the drifters gave noncommittal responses. “What do you wanna do, sunshine?” Hancock asked her.

Susan shrugged. The whole thing seemed stupid now. How could you describe holiday spirit to people who had never felt it? “Never mind,” she said. “Forget I said anything.”

Conversations around the room resumed, and Susan was feeling a little bruised about having her idea shot down when Hancock asked everyone if they could step out. Fahrenheit rolled her eyes again ostentatiously from the door as she pulled it shut. 

Hancock didn’t ask her about Christmas, though.

“How was your day, gorgeous?” he asked her, putting his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him as he continued. “You spend the day ruins crawlin’ again with MacCready?” Susan looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Yes,” she said warily. She had been spending a lot of time with MacCready over the last week. The sniper had worked up the courage to ask her for help shortly after she took down the courser, and they had gotten some kind of medication sent to his son, who lived out of the Commonwealth. Ever since then, Mac had opened up to her, and she was starting to enjoy their conversations almost as much as she appreciated his stealthy style and sniping skills. 

This was not the first time Hancock had asked her about it, thus her wariness.

“Got no complaints. MacCready? That’s a hell of a gun to have at your back.” He paused and she waited, knowing there would be more. “What do you think about him? I mean on a personal level. I know you worship the way he uses a scope,” Hancock added with a smirk.

Susan felt her cheeks grow warm. “Worship is a strong word,” she said drily. “He’s all right, I guess.”

“Just all right? You spend a lot of time with him for somebody who’s just all right.”

“Yeah, well, I spend a lot of time with you, and sometimes you can be a straight-up asshole,” she said cheekily, giving him a tickle and a kiss to let him know she was joking. “So what’s for dinner?”

Hancock was not so easily deterred. “Whatever you want, baby. Anything on the menu. So, would you say you found MacCready... attractive? You ever imagine strippin’ off your armor up in one of those sniper nests and takin’ him for a ride?”

Susan’s mouth fell open and her blush deepened. Hancock had made comments previously that had made her wonder if he was worried about her sleeping with Mac, but this was the first time he had phrased it so… Crudely. Vividly. She swallowed, thinking about how she had just had some thoughts to that effect today. 

Mac was almost 10 years her junior but he was so… Sweet. Needy. Susan wanted to cuddle him sometimes, to put a smile on that sad face. She knew he had lost his spouse, too. She could tell he found her attractive. She caught him watching her sometimes, and she had wondered if he knew she watched him too, he way he caressed his rifle, his smooth, stealthy movements.

Hancock chuckled when she didn’t answer right away. “Guess that answers my question.” Susan realized he must’ve smelled the arousal that had quickened her body as she inevitably visualized the scene he’d described.

“Listen, John. It’s not like that,” she began. He interrupted her by putting his head in her lap and taking a large, theatrical sniff.

“You sure about that, doll?” he said, amusement thick in his voice.

“John, come on. Yeah, he’s a cutie. We have a lot in common. I can’t say the thought has never crossed my mind. But I’m with you. I don’t wish I could be with him instead. It’s just a little crush. They pass.”

Hancock just looked at her, shaking his head in amusement. Then something occurred to Susan. “Wait. You keep bringing this up. It’s almost like you want me to say ‘Yes, I want to fuck him.’ Is it because...” She swallowed around the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. “Is it because you found somebody else you want to fuck? And you’re hoping we can both just...” She trailed off, feeling confused and jealous. 

“No, doll,” Hancock said, his voice husky. “That ain’t it. Been tryna ask you if you’re interested in a threesome for a week. You ain’t been makin’ it too easy. You know, Mac and I could show you a real good time together.”

Susan thought her blush couldn’t have gotten deeper but as she felt her ears grow warm she knew she’d been wrong. Her face felt like it was on fire and she knew that was part of what was causing Hancock’s amusement. “Oh,” she said, at a loss for words.

“Is that a yes or a no, sunshine?” He laughed.

“Uh, I don’t know. I guess I never… Even thought about it. How do you know that he would…? Wait, have you and he... Talked about me? Have you done something like this before with him?” To say she had mixed emotions would’ve been an understatement.

“Right on both accounts, doll.” Susan wasn’t sure how she felt about them talking about her behind her back, about Hancock’s smug grin. Nor did she like the idea of just being an interchangeable body in some kind of ongoing threesome situation with Hancock and MacCready.

“How many times have you guys done this?” she asked.

“Just once, with some gal he was seein’ at the time.” Hancock chuckled evilly. “Felt like Mac treated me to an experience, and I thought someday I might try to repay the favor if I ever had somebody special myself.” He gave her shoulders a little shake. “Seems inevitable it would come up at some point. He mentioned it last week. Haven’t been able to stop thinkin’ about it.”

So it was Mac who had brought it up. Apparently, he had noticed her sidelong glances. And he wanted to... Susan bit her lip. She knew Hancock was watching her closely. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Only if you want to, doll. I’ve seen how you look at him, heard the way you talk about him these days. Figured it was worth bringin’ up.”

“I’ll think about it,” Susan muttered. Her mind was racing. No, she had never thought about it before, but now that she had, it was pretty much all she could think about.

“So what do you really want to do for Christmas? Got the feeling Fahrenheit was making you feel discouraged, but I’d be willing to put in some effort to do a holiday thing if you want.”

Relieved the subject had been changed, Susan told him about the kinds of things she remembered from Christmases past. Trees covered with tinsel and dripping with lights, twinkling lights hanging from windows and ceilings too, purchasing gifts for those you love and wrapping them up in bright paper, opening them Christmas morning. Bells and carols and happy laughter. She tried to paint a picture with her words and she could tell he didn’t quite understand but he seemed intrigued.

She told him about Christmas, but what she was thinking about was having a threesome with him and MacCready.

That night in bed, Hancock took his time warming her up. His deft fingers explored her slit, her rose. Multiple digits penetrated her as his tongue danced over her clit. He even reached up and put two fingers in her mouth, so he was inside her in every way. Susan found she loved the sensation. Later, when he pushed his manhood into her wet crevice, he reached around and worked a finger into her from behind, then kissed her deeply so she was once again penetrated from every angle, and she climaxed gasping, feeling things she’d never felt before.

“That was… Different,” she managed when she could speak again.

“Wanna try somethin’ else different?” Hancock purred. He rolled her over onto her stomach. She felt the hard length of him pressed against her backside and tensed.

“I don’t know,” Susan said hesitantly. “I’ve never done it before. I heard it can... hurt.”

“Only if your partner cares more about his own pleasure than yours,” Hancock rasped in her ear. “Is that the kind of thing you’ve ever have to worry about with me, doll?”

It wasn’t, so she shook her head. He didn’t move, and she realized he might take her action as a refusal. “Okay,” Susan whispered.

“You stop me if it hurts,” he purred in her ear. “You gotta relax, sunshine.” Hancock adjusted her position and she felt his fingers there again, adding wetness, stretching her out. Then he began to push into her, slowly, a millimeter at a time, pulling back every time she tightened up, stopping if she made even the slightest sound of discomfort. It didn’t hurt, but it felt... odd. When he was finally able to get the width of his cock inside her, she tensed again; she felt instinctively he wouldn’t be able to thrust away.

And he didn’t try to. Instead, once he was sheathed in her, Hancock pulled Susan against him, drawing her torso up so he could stroke her clit and stimulate her nipples with skilled fingers while her body adjusted to the feel of him. He kissed her neck, bit her shoulder. Only after she was crying her pleasure, spasming on him, did he begin to move. It didn’t take long before he crested inside her.

They disengaged and lay down together with a deep mutual sigh. “Well,” Susan said finally. “I don’t know if I’d want to do that every night. But.... wow.” Her usual eloquence seemed to have disappeared. Anal sex, threesomes... was that the kind of sex life Hancock was used to, wanted? 

Instead of bothering her, Susan found the thought made her hungry for more. She realized she was as willing to be his student in this arena as she had been when they first started ruins crawling.

“Just tryna show you there’s more ways to pleasure than what you know,” Hancock purred in her ear. “Only have one life, why not try it all?”

“You’re still thinking about that threesome, aren’t you?”

“Damn right I am,” he told her. “I love you. I wanna make you feel good in ways you never even imagined, sunshine.”

She shivered. But she believed him. The evidence was clear. “Okay,” she said in a small voice.

“Does that mean you wanna give it a try?” Hancock persisted.

“Yes,” Susan said, blushing. He pulled her more closely against him.

“Good,” he purred, and she shivered again, this time in anticipation.


	9. "What Have We Here?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan returns to the Third Rail after a tense day of ruins crawling with MacCready to find he and Hancock have been waiting for her. Will her anxiety keep her from enjoying what they have to offer?

Two days later, when MacCready showed up for their planned ruins crawl, Susan couldn’t stop thinking about her conversation with Hancock, about her knowledge of the two of them discussing her behind her back. She couldn’t stop thinking about Hancock suggesting she wanted to tear her armor off and take MacCready for a ride. When Mac asked her if she was okay, she blushed and just nodded. But he picked an easy target for their foray as if aware of her distraction.

Hours and many erotic thoughts later, they returned to Goodneighbor. She went to her room to clean up and get changed, loved on Hope for a while, and headed to the Third Rail for dinner as usual.

Susan found MacCready sitting in her usual spot in the VIP room, his head together with Hancock’s. They looked up at her entrance. Both men looked freshly clean and both watched her with the same hungry expression, and she blushed involuntarily, looking around for another place to sit.

“Come sit with us,” Hancock said invitingly, patting the small space between the two of them as he and Mac both shifted to make room. Susan generally didn’t like to be trapped between two people, but since the two people were Hancock and Mac, she sat. It felt kind of cozy nestled between them, actually. She took a long swig of the whiskey Hancock handed her, her thoughts in a whirl.

Some of the tension drained out of her as the two men conversed over her. It was clear they were close friends; their banter was light and easy. Susan was grateful they were taking the burden of conversation off her, because she was having a difficult time concentrating. When they all ordered dinner, she gulped hers down, barely tasting it. She gave monosyllabic responses. She felt aware of every movement they made. 

They must’ve sensed her agitation, because once everything was cleared away and they’d smoked and drank in silence for a while, she saw the men’s gazes meet. Hancock gave MacCready a small shake of his head.

Mac got up from the couch. “Well, it’s been a lovely evening,” he said. “Thanks for dinner.”

“Wait,” Susan blurted out. “Are you leaving?” She looked back-and-forth between the two of them. “Can I talk to you for a second, Mac?”

Hancock got up as MacCready sat back down. “Be right back,” he said casually.

After he left, she and Mac stared at their hands. Finally Susan worked up the nerve to look at him. “I know you’ve been talking to him about me,” she said quietly.

Mac avoided meeting her gaze. He clasped his hands together nervously. “Yeah,” he said. “You’ve come up.” When long moments passed and she said nothing, he finally looked at her.

“Is this what you want?” Susan asked him. Her eyes were green whirlpools.

He didn’t look away. It was as though he wanted to be sucked down into them. “Yes,” he said steadily. “Only if you do,” he added quickly.

Susan could feel a change come over her. “Show me.”

Mac looked surprised at first, then he turned to face her more fully. She parted her lips with a lick, and he came in for a kiss, tentatively. When she met every movement of his with ardor, sliding her arms around him, he became more confident, kissing her with more passion. They were locked at the mouth when Hancock returned, swinging the door open and closing it behind him.

Susan tried not to jerk away, reminding herself this was what they all wanted, and Hancock’s grin of approval made it easier. “Well what have we here? That’s what I like to see,” he purred. 

Mac seemed hesitant now that Hancock was back, and Susan felt a shift in her priorities as she assessed the situation. She had imagined this as the men seducing her. Now she realized the dynamic was different.

Susan and Hancock, as a couple, would be seducing Mac.

The thought gave her sharp thrill. It gave her a boldness she never would’ve imagined. She slid onto Mac’s lap, straddling him. He looked stunned, and she kissed him again, slowly, as if they had all the time in the world. She felt Hancock’s hands go up under her dress, stroking her most sensitive areas. She was waiting for his tongue, but instead she got his gravelly voice.

“Maybe we should think about going back to the State House?” he suggested. Reluctantly, she disengaged from MacCready. The three of them made the short journey in record time.

Back in Hancock’s bedroom, though, Susan felt shy again. She excused herself to the bathroom to collect her thoughts and work up her courage.

When she came back out, they were sitting on the bed, close to each other but not touching. Susan froze momentarily, then it was like the mask came out - a new mask - and she heard herself say playfully, “I was kind of hoping you’d start without me.”

Mac looked surprised but Hancock just chuckled. “Whatever you want, doll,” he said in a husky voice, and put his hand on Mac’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He looked unsure, but he shut his eyes and let Hancock into his mouth. Susan felt her lips part as she watched her lover stroke the sniper, kissing him thoroughly. There was something so erotic about watching Hancock do to Mac what he normally did to her, his ravaged skin pressed against MacCready’s smooth. She felt her body responding.

Susan sat behind Mac, kissing the back of his neck, his ears, wrapping her arms around him, pressing her breasts into his back. She stroked the crotch of his pants, purring as she discovered the proof of his arousal. She ran her deft fingers up his sides, making him gasp as she giggled into the back of his head. Then Hancock grabbed her hand and pulled her up and around so she was between them. 

He pushed down the straps of her dress, then eased the fabric down to her waist; he cradled her breasts with his hands as if presenting them to MacCready. Susan arched her back invitingly, an invitation to suckle that the sniper accepted. As Mac stroked and licked first one breast, then the other, taking a pert nipple between his teeth just enough to make her gasp, Hancock put his hands under her dress and stroked her thighs, her belly.

Mac came up for air. He was looking dazed, and Susan wondered how long it had been for him. 

With a smooth movement, Hancock pulled her leg around so that she was straddling Mac, although her dress still covered her. Then he slowly, teasingly pulled her dress up so MacCready could see the triangle of her panties, damp with arousal. “Damn,” Mac breathed, gripping her waist with his strong hands, staring at her crotch. Hancock ran one finger quickly up the strip of cloth between her legs, making her gasp, before he dropped her dress and pushed her into MacCready’s arms.

Susan wrapped herself around Mac, kissing him greedily. She could taste Hancock in his mouth now and it drove her wild. Mac looked like he couldn’t sit up much more, so she pushed him down onto his back, still kissing him on elbows and knees. 

She felt Hancock lift her dress and pull her gusset to the side so he could lick her slit, and soon she was moaning into Mac’s mouth as the mayor used his deft hands and mouth to stimulate her. Just before she would have peaked, the hands slipped away, although the mouth never stopped, and Susan heard the click and whisper of a belt being unfastened and pants unzipped underneath her.

One hand returned, but she could tell by MacCready’s sudden groans that Hancock was touching him now too. They could barely seem to kiss, such was their distraction, and they lay with their cheeks pressed together, panting, as the mayor showed off his skills.

Susan began to buck her hips, moaning, and then she was coming, pressed against MacCready but with Hancock’s mouth on her. The mayor growled in satisfaction and put his hands on her waist. She expected him to penetrate her but instead he pulled her down Mac’s body until her mouth was by his groin. Only once she’d taken the sniper’s hard length into her mouth did Hancock slide his cock into her. 

Susan purred in pleasure at the feel of both of them inside her, and she treated Mac to an enthusiastic massage with her tongue that brought him hard, spasming into her willing mouth. Hancock pulled her torso up so he could stroke her clit while he thrust into her, and soon she was coming again as Mac sat up and filled his hands and mouth with her breasts.

Finally, Hancock pulled Mac in tightly and kissed him over her shoulder, and then he let himself go, shuddering as he thrust into her. They collapsed onto the bed together, panting. No one spoke for a while but they touched, hands on shoulders, fingers stroking cheeks.

Finally Susan spoke. “Whose idea was that? That was a good idea.”

“Pretty sure it was mutual,” Hancock said from behind her.

Mac gave her an innocent look. “I thought it was your idea,” he told her.

“I thought it was yours!” Susan’s eyes twinkled. “Well, whoever’s idea it was, yeah. That was a good time.”

“Who says we’re done?” Hancock growled. He rolled away and pulled out a Jet cartridge. 

Susan laughed, half in disbelief, but she took a hit off the cart and handed it to Mac, who shrugged and joined them. As the drug kicked in, time slowed down and she watched MacCready with fascination. He blinked and it was like it was in slow motion. She could’ve counted every eyelash. Her skin felt twice as sensitive. It was cozy and warm hands covered her. 

Susan felt like she could’ve stayed in that moment forever.

As the buzz evened out, the sharp immediate effects fading, she felt Hancock’s hand on her hip, pushing, and Susan rolled forward obediently. She could feel Mac getting hard again as she pressed against him. Hancock lifted her knee up and put his face between her legs, lapping at her, stabbing his tongue into her rose. His fingers followed as he gently loosened her up. Mac roused enough to join in, kissing Susan, teasing her nipples with strong fingers. It was easier to stay relaxed than it had been last time, and soon Hancock was able to work his cock into her from behind. 

She was just wondering how she could get Mac into the mix somehow when Hancock wrapped his arm up around her knee, holding it in the crook of his elbow, and rolled onto his back. He trapped her other leg similarly so she was spread wide, his cock deep inside her. Susan let out a startled laugh, and Hancock purred reassuringly in her ear. 

They both looked at Mac. Susan licked her lips invitingly, cupping her breasts.

MacCready flushed, but he got up, kneeling between her legs. He spread her lips with strong fingers, licking her clit delicately. Susan couldn’t believe how good it felt, a cock deep inside her and a mouth on her wet crevice, fingers slipping in. She was close to cresting when Mac pulled himself up and slid his cock into her. Her startled gasp at the sudden, amazing feeling of both of them inside her brought an answering chuckle from Hancock and a groan from MacCready.

It took a few moments to work out a rhythm, but before long Susan was purring with pleasure as Mac’s hips rocked and Hancock flexed upward on the downstroke. Mac cupped her breasts, holding onto them, using them to give him leverage as he thrust; then he lay down onto her, kissing her deeply as he pulled her hands up over her head. 

Susan could feel another orgasm building, and their groans and gasps told her they felt it, too, tiny spasms like aftershocks, except leading up to the earthquake instead of following it. She came first, crying out wordlessly, arching her back, and Hancock followed soon after, clutching her hips and swearing, pumping up with short strokes. Mac came last, and Susan could tell he was trying to prolong the moment, but she gave him a wicked smile and a tight squeeze, and he shuddered as he climaxed, thrusting unsteadily into her wet heat, his hands fumbling at her breasts.

They lay in an exhausted, trembling heap, briefly. Then Susan pushed at Mac, and he dismounted shakily, collapsing onto the bed, tremors still shaking his body. Hancock rolled her over and gently disengaged from her. She had a feeling she was going to be a bit sore the next day. But she smiled. Totally worth it, she thought, a few pleasant shivers still running through her.


	10. "Good Luck, General"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just over a week from Christmas, Susan suddenly realizes she can’t keep putting it off anymore. It’s time for her to go to the Institute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found the last line of this chapter in Hancock's dialogue table, but I don't think I've ever heard him say it.

Her: 

The next few weeks were some of the best Susan could remember. 

Certainly the best she’d had in the Commonwealth. Having a visit from MacCready every few days gave her something exciting to look forward to. The three of them had explored every possible variation of the theme of a woman and two men that she’d ever heard of, and some that she’d never imagined. They had many happy hours together in Hancock’s bed.

Susan had chivvied and explained and implored, and soon she had people putting together a sketchy kind of Christmas. Now almost every building had some kind of garnish, and she had skilled craftsmen making strings of lights. Susan had personally scoured the ruins for holiday decorations, Mac or Hancock at her side, and roamed the wooded areas around, trying to find a tree that would be suitable for a Christmas tree.

She had traveled around to the various settlements she had helped start, making sure everyone had shelter, beds, food and water. She was fiddling with a complicated wire setup on a light box display in Graygarden when she realized what she was doing.

She was stalling.

Lulled into complacency by the cozy life she had created for herself, she had almost abandoned what had been her driving goal when she woke up in Vault 111. She was intentionally giving herself things to look forward to, like Christmas or another marathon threesome, so she could ignore that nagging voice in the back of her mind for one more day.

She was a coward. Shame flooded her. Had she forgotten about Nate, about Shaun? Her son might not know who she was, but she owed it to herself and her dead husband to find out what happened to him. She had promised to avenge Nate, and though she had tried to tell herself she had done it already when she killed Kellogg, it wasn’t true. The Institute was responsible.

It was time to go.

Susan went back to Goodneighbor that night. She spent a lovely evening with Hancock and MacCready, but she didn’t tell either of them what she was going to do. Long after they fell asleep, she lay there surrounded by their warmth, thinking. Everything was silent and still when she slipped out of bed. The men, deeply asleep and used to her nocturnal rambles, didn’t awaken.

She dressed in the dark, and she didn’t bother using a stealth boy to slip out this time. Everyone would soon know what she’d done. She left a note for Hancock instead, telling him she would be back when she could and asking him to care for Hope. She just waved to Kleo before she rushed up to her room, giving her cat a long snuggle before gathering up her supplies and weapons. She got into the power armor suit and headed out of town towards Sanctuary.

It was a long way, and it took Susan most of the morning to make it there. She greeted everyone cordially and told Sturges she was going to go to the Institute that day. He looked surprised but said everything was ready whenever she was. 

And then she took a nap in the secret, private room she had created for herself during her weeks away from Goodneighbor. It held a small bed, a magazine rack, a chem cooler, and a single decoration she had made during the long, sleepless nights she’d spent filled with an aching yearning. When she awoke, she felt filled with a steely purpose instead as she saw it. 

Susan stared at the glowing red neon sign that said ‘Hancock.’ Would she ever see him again?

She got into her power armor and strode to where she had built the Signal Interceptor. Taking a deep breath, she flipped the switch on the power relay that connected the platform and beam emitter to a nuclear generator. The whole contraption came to life with a crackle of blue lightning.

“Are you ready?” called Sturges over the sound of mechanical screeching, and she stepped onto the platform in answer. He explained something about a holotape, but Susan was mesmerized by the blue sparks showering down onto her. She just nodded. Sturges caught the signal and then the world seemed to end as a flash of blue filled her vision.

And she was gone.

 

Him:

Hancock woke up early. Susan wasn’t in bed. MacCready was snoring away. He got up to see if Susan was in the bathroom. But she wasn’t. He found her note in his office. 

He pulled on a pair of black pants and went out onto the balcony. The sky was just beginning to lighten. He read the note again.

 

Dearest John,

I will return to you when I can. Please take good care of Hope. I gave her that name for a reason. I hope you can forgive me. 

Yours Utterly,

Susan

 

Hancock slowly folded the paper and tucked it into his pocket. He lit a cigarette as he looked out into the sky.

“Good luck, General,” he said to the spreading dawn. “I hope you find your son.”


	11. "Could Have Some Serious Fun"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan returns from the Institute on Christmas Eve and surprises Hancock and MacCready. They have a surprise for her too, though!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter and the next four are all actual Hancock quotes!

Her:

Susan stepped into the Third Rail wearing her favorite dress although it was almost too chilly for it. It had been over a week since she’d left for the Institute, and it was Christmas Eve. She’d been surprised by the amount of lights and other decorations that adorned Goodneighbor. It seemed like everyone had gotten into the festivities while she was gone.

She put her finger over her mouth to shush Ham as she entered. “Are they both here?” she whispered to him. He nodded happily and she gave his shoulder a warm squeeze. “Good, I want to surprise them,” she winked.

She crept quietly down the stairs and stayed against the wall so no one would see her, then she took a deep breath and slipped into the VIP room.

Hancock and MacCready were deep in conversation and they didn’t notice her immediately. She stepped up to the couch and put her hands on her hips. “Hey guys,” she said casually. “How’s it goin’?”

Two surprised faces turned up to her, one ravaged, one smooth. Mac jumped up. “Susan!” he exclaimed, pulling her into a hug that she returned with interest. Then she looked at Hancock, who still sat on the couch, watching her.

“You got some gall, sunshine. You think you can just stroll in here and act like nothin’ happened?”

Susan plucked the cigarette from his fingers and took a long drag. She shrugged and nodded, then gave him an impish smile. 

Hancock shook his head, but she could see the relief on his face, and she bent down and presented him her lips. Then she giggled and stumbled as he grabbed her and gave her a deep, throbbing kiss. “So you gonna tell us what the fuck happened?”

“That’s the plan,” Susan said, and plopped down onto the couch between them. “Whiskey?”

“I’m glad to know there’s a plan, doll,” Hancock growled as he handed her the bottle.

She took a very long drink, shuddering. “Sometimes there is and sometimes there isn’t,” she said with a laugh. “Jet?” She looked back-and-forth between the two. “Come on, this is the first time I’ve had chems in a week. I had to play good girl.” Mac handed her a cart and she hit it twice before helping herself to another long swallow of whiskey. Then she finally felt ready to talk.

“Teleporting in was insane,” Susan began. “There were blue sparks flying from the machine, blue lightning all around me. Some tubing came loose and was flapping around.” She laughed incredulously. “Then the world disappeared in a flash and I was in the Institute.”

“Shame the teleporter only goes to the Institute. Could have some serious fun with that kinda tech,” Hancock commented. Susan just shook her head. She would never use that thing again if she could avoid it.

“It wasn’t at all how I imagined,” she continued. “It was... beautiful,” she admitted. “Clean. It’s basically an entire community of scientists, people like me.” She told them about wandering through the huge facility, about hearing the voice of a man who beckoned to her. There was no fighting. Everything was peaceful and quiet.

“Did you find your son?” MacCready asked.

Susan took a deep breath. “Yes,” she said finally. But she looked sad. “I found a 10-year-old boy that looked like Shaun might’ve looked. I thought it was him at first, but it ended up being a synth. Then I met my actual son.” She paused. “Shaun is.... Father, the leader of the whole fucking Institute. He told me he was kidnapped 60 years ago, not 10.” She laughed incredulously. “He’s older than me!” Susan stared straight ahead so she didn’t have to see their shocked faces.

“Damn, doll,” Hancock said softly. “That’s a lot to come to terms with.”

“Yeah.” She didn’t say anything for a few moments, then she cleared her throat. “He asked me to stay.”

“Stay? You mean… Live there?” Mac exclaimed.

“Yes,” Susan said quietly.

“Well, don’t keep us in the dark, sunshine. What’d ya tell him?” Hancock’s tone was light, but Susan could tell the answer meant a great deal to him.

“I told him I wasn’t sure,” she said honestly. “It was… Interesting. I stayed for five days. It took some poking around, but I found that experimental serum for Virgil. Remember, Hancock? And I downloaded some information onto a holotape for Sturges. I met all the department heads. I learned about their goals, their methodology. I learned that even though they modeled their synths on humans, they just think of them as machines. As tools. One of them told me they couldn’t ‘want’ anything. But how do you explain Nick? Doesn’t he want to help people?” 

Susan shook her head. “I gave them the same vague answers I give everybody else,” she concluded.

“You said you were there five days. But you were gone from here a week. Didn’t you come back here straight away?” Hancock asked, his brow furrowed.

“No,” Susan said flatly. “First I went to Railroad HQ. I talked to Desdemona. She already knew from the rumors I had been in there. She asked me to join their side instead of working with the Minutemen. I told her I didn’t know.” She stared into space. “Then, I went to the Prydwen.”

Both sets of eyes went round and both mouths dropped open. “The PRYDWEN?” Mac yelped. “You mean that gigantic flying hunk of steel over Boston airport?”

“Brotherhood knows how to make an entrance. I'll give 'em that,” Hancock said, shaking his head at her in wonder.

Susan nodded. “It wasn’t my first time up there. I... I know Paladin Danse. I think I told you I met him at Cambridge, Hancock.” She swallowed. “What you don’t know is that sometimes after I’d been out ruins crawling or doing Railroad jobs, I would go to Boston airport and take a vertibird to the Prydwen to see him.” 

No one spoke. Hancock just raised a brow. Susan felt a blush steal onto her cheeks. “He helped me with my power armor; we talked a lot. We went on some missions together.” She shrugged. “I remember when I first met him, he started barking orders at me. Nate used to be like that sometimes when we first got together, like he didn’t know how to separate the military part of him from the man.” She paused. “But I could always help him.”

Hancock shook his head, whistling in disbelief. “I bet. And did you help Danse find his manhood?” 

“It’s not like that. I used him because I wanted to join the Brotherhood,” Susan replied. “In case I needed them.” 

Her voice was ice cold. “Elder Maxson already knew I had been to the Institute, too. He was pissed I didn’t bring the interceptor plans to him.” She shrugged. “He wanted the holotape, too, but I didn’t give it to him.” She hadn’t given it to the Minutemen, either. She still had it.

Susan hadn’t told them the entire truth, though. Yes, she had been using Danse. It was important to have the Brotherhood at least not as an enemy, but preferably as a potential ally. But Susan had felt strongly drawn to the paladin, and even though she knew it was probably just his superficial resemblance to Nate, she hadn’t been able to help herself. One night, about a week after she left Goodneighbor, she had kissed Danse up in the Prydwen in a shadowed corner when they both got out of their power armor at the same time and stumbled into each other. 

At the time, she’d told herself she’d done it for the connection to the Brotherhood, but when she’d seen Danse yesterday her heart had skipped a beat. He’d given her a long hug that that went on too long to be just platonic, and she had not pulled away.

“So now what?” Hancock said finally. “What are you gonna do, doll?”

“I don’t know. Father… Shaun… Asked me to help him reclaim a synth. I’m supposed to meet up with a courser.” She laughed incredulously. “I’ve got people who want me to free synths, people who want me to reclaim them, people who want to destroy them all, and people who… Hell, I don’t even know what the Minutemen really want.” She frowned. “Do synths want?”

“What do you want?” Hancock asked, giving her a tickle. She let her mood lighten as she looked at him.

“Specifically, what do you want for dinner?” MacCready added. “We were just talking about it.”

“What I really want is dessert first,” Susan said blandly, looking sidelong at first one then the other. She smiled. She took a long drink of whiskey and handed it to Hancock, who handed it to Mac after helping himself. 

“Let’s eat first, doll,” Hancock said finally. When she gave him a raised eyebrow, he gave her a knowing look. “Dessert’s gonna be a multicourse meal,” he informed her. Her cheeks flushed and she grinned at him. “Besides, we gotta show you our surprise before we can go up to my room.”

Both her eyebrows went up now. “Another surprise? I should run away more often. Seems like I always get a surprise when I come back.”

“I’m gonna let that slide, doll,” he growled at her. “Least you had the courtesy to leave a note this time.” 

 

Him:

They ordered food and ate quickly. Hancock wished more than once that they could be alone afterwards. But he hadn’t wanted to be by himself for Christmas, and now he couldn’t ask MacCready to leave. 

Susan seemed to feel the same way, which was the only thing that made him feel better. The long, yearning glances they gave each other during dinner made him feel like the most important thing in the world, especially since he was the only one getting them. 

As soon as they finished eating, and Susan had gotten her fill of enjoying all the things she’d apparently had to deprive herself of during the last week, like bourbon and Jet, they trooped up out of the Third Rail. At the door to the State House, he held Susan back. 

“Close your eyes, sunshine,” Hancock told her. She shut them obediently and he grinned as he thought about how much she trusted him. 

The two men guided her in and put her in the best viewing position. Then Hancock went and flipped the switch that controlled the lights. Finally, he told Susan she could open her eyes. 

When she did, they got bigger and bigger until Hancock thought they might pop out of her head. She stared in wonder at the Christmas tree. Then her eyes drifted up to take in the spectacular light display they had arranged within the State House. He thought she had never looked more beautiful than she did with her mouth hanging open as she marveled at what they had done. 

“Now turn around and go back outside,” Hancock purred. It took a second before she could make herself move away from the display inside. She opened the door.

Outside, all of Goodneighbor was lit up. Susan gasped and clapped her hands to her mouth when she saw the lights everywhere. Hancock drew her in close. “Wasn’t sure we’d ever see you again,” he said roughly into her ear. “So instead of tryna get you some fancy presents you might never open, we thought we’d make this instead. That way,” and his voice caught, “If you didn’t come back, at least we’d have a reminder of ya.”

“And if you did come back, it might make you happy,” MacCready said hopefully. 

Susan pulled them close together. “It makes me happy,” she told them. “It makes me very happy.” 

They stood there in silence for a while, just looking at the lights and the decorations. Hancock noticed Susan was crying, and he lifted a tear off her cheek with his ravaged finger. “Didn’t mean to make you cry, sunshine,” he said roughly. 

“It’s just so beautiful,” she whispered. “I can’t believe you did all this for me.”

Finally she seemed to have gotten her fill of the spectacle, and she pulled them back inside. She exclaimed over the tree and the inside decorations all the way up the stairs, but Hancock could tell she had a one-track mind. 

Up in his bedroom, it was obvious she wished they were alone together. She accommodated Mac but she was focused on Hancock. It made him feel like he was the most important person in the world. It made him feel bad for MacCready, though, too, and he could tell Susan could feel it, but she couldn’t seem to tear her attention from him. 

And that was when Hancock knew she truly loved him. Because who would choose to look at someone like him when they could look at someone like Mac? Only someone who saw past the skin. Like the vault dweller, Susan.

Only after she seemed to have gotten her fill of caressing and pressing herself against him did she truly include Mac in the circle of her arms. They took their time, sharing long lingering kisses, taking turns stimulating each other. At the end, she encouraged Hancock to take her from behind, and Mac took her from the front, but she kept turning her head to look at him and kiss him. 

It was the best fucking Christmas present he could’ve gotten.


	12. "Time for Presents"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas morning involves a lot of gift giving between Hancock, MacCready, and Susan. But she has a special gift she only wants to give Hancock. Will he accept it?

The next morning, Hancock woke first, and seeing the lovely Susan with her blond hair tangled around the handsome MacCready, both in his bed, made him smile. He just lay there, watching them, until Susan opened her eyes. “Don’t mind me. Just enjoying the view,” he said, and she smiled at him.

“Merry Christmas,” she said sleepily, drawing him in for a kiss. Behind her, MacCready stirred, and Hancock reached across Susan to stroke his thigh. He could tell the sniper had been a little put off by Susan’s lack of attention to him last night, and he wanted to make sure the man felt included. 

Today she was back to her normal solicitous self, though, and she flipped over and greeted Mac even more warmly than she had him, wrapping herself around him and kissing him gently. “Merry Christmas,” she told him when she pulled away, and the sniper’s face shone with pleasure.

“Is it time for presents?” Hancock said into Susan’s ear. “Because I got somethin’ I’d like to give you.” He pressed his pelvis against hers in case there was any question what he meant. 

“I want all the presents,” she mumbled, pushing back against him. 

He kissed her ear, her shoulder, her hip, working his way down. She rolled onto her back with a sweet sigh, spreading her legs for him so he could lick her. Hancock gave Susan her favorite present until she was climaxing in his mouth. 

Next, he moved to give the same treatment to MacCready. The sniper blushed and seemed unsure, but when Susan rolled on her side to stroke his chest and murmur encouragingly, he let Hancock take him into his mouth. It didn’t take very long with her kissing him and the mayor stroking and licking his cock, showing off his skills, before Mac was convulsing his pleasure. 

Having started the whole gift giving, Hancock didn’t necessarily expect much in return, but they surprised him. Susan moved to take his hard length into her mouth, and Mac shifted to kiss him. Since it was usually him pushing whatever happened, he found this attention unexpectedly touching and his climax was similarly powerful. 

Afterwards, they lay there for a while, and he assumed they were done. But Susan seemed insatiable after a week away from them. She pulled Hancock back up onto her, and he got hard again as she kissed and caressed him. He was inside her in a short time, thrusting into her, and he wouldn’t have known the difference from someone who never had a problem. 

She stopped when he was close again, pulling off of him and turning to MacCready, stroking his face and sliding onto him. It was like she couldn’t get enough. Hancock watched her ride him, enjoying the sight of her flipping her long hair around, the sniper’s hands on her breasts. She brought Mac gasping and panting, then turned back to him. 

When she climbed onto him again, he felt mesmerized by the expression on her face. He’d never felt so wanted, so needed. He gave her everything he could, stroking her with his cock, bringing her to climax twice again before it seemed like she’d had enough. Then he flipped them over so he could finally come again, pushing hard enough he thought she might stop him. But she took every inch, moaning, and they came together. 

Afterwards, they lay trembling in a heap of limbs. Susan pulled Mac back into the mix so they were all in a sweaty pile together, and Hancock could hear her purring quietly in pleasure every time she breathed out. 

“Hell, if I’d known Christmas morning was like that, I’d’ve been celebratin’ it for years,” Hancock said finally. She responded with a throaty chuckle. 

“I second that,” said MacCready, not moving. 

“It wouldn’t have been the same without me,” Susan informed them smugly. She began to wiggle, pushing the men away from her, and Hancock helped her get up. She slipped into the bathroom, nude and graceful. 

He glanced at Mac, and found the sniper staring at him, envy clear on his face. MacCready looked away, but Hancock reached out a gentle hand to cup his cheek, getting his attention. “You all right, pal?” His voice was low. 

“I wish she looked at me the way she looks at you,” MacCready admitted. 

“I’m the luckiest damn ghoul in the Commonwealth,” he replied. He let his hand slip away as Susan returned. He gestured for her to get back into bed, but she shook her head and slipped on a robe. 

“It’s time for gifts,” she announced. 

“I thought that’s what we just did?” MacCready said.

“No shit, doll. Don’t know how many more gifts I can give you without takin’ a break first,” Hancock said. 

Susan seemed amused. “That was just part of your present,” she said lightly. She crouched down and slid open the bottom drawer of a cabinet, pulling out two neatly wrapped packages, one large and one small. She must have hidden them there before she left for the Institute. 

The men sat up as she approached and handed each of them one of the boxes. Hancock just looked at his for a moment, the larger one. Wrapped in bright red paper and tied up with curling green ribbons, it was the prettiest package he’d ever seen. He cleared his throat, looking up at her. “Wasn’t sure you’d even be back, sunshine. I’m sorry I didn’t get you somethin’ to open.”

Susan shook her head, smiling at him as she sat back down. “You gave me the best present anyone’s ever given me,” she said, putting her arm around him. “Both of you,” she added, slipping her other arm around Mac’s waist. The sniper was already opening his gift, and he whistled in admiration as he pulled out the shiny scope. 

“This is perfect, angel,” Mac said with appreciation. “It’s got recon tracking?”

“Yep! I found it on a raider a few weeks ago and got it all fixed up for you.”

Hancock finally made himself peel back the lovely wrapping. His box held a pair of new black boots his size, shined and polished. “These are gorgeous, doll.” Feeling emboldened by her warm gaze, he pushed the blanket off his lap and pulled the boots on. He stood up and waltzed across the room nude except for them, grabbing his hat and putting it on with a flourish. “Whaddya think?” he asked them, spreading his arms, his voice husky. 

“Very dignified,” Susan said solemnly, her eyes twinkling. Mac threw a pillow at him, laughing.

“Put some clothes on, man,” he said. 

Hancock caught the pillow and held it over his crotch. “Clothes are overrated,” he announced. “Boots are all you need.”

Susan was giggling when he sat back down next to her. “So what do you guys want to do today?” she asked. “Let’s do something fun. I feel like I never do anything just for fun. And maybe we can all have a nice quiet dinner together later?”

She frowned when Mac shook his head. “Not an option, sister,” Hancock told her. 

“Why not?”

“Well, you made it seem like Christmas dinner was kind of a thing,” MacCready said. “So we arranged a big dinner for everyone who wants to come.”

“Like a party?” Susan exclaimed. 

“Somethin’ like that,” Hancock grinned. “Invited all your friends. Just in case.” He had made sure to get word to everyone who had spent any time with Susan. He’d been afraid she would never return and he had wanted to hear all the stories about her he could. He’d even invited that crew-cut Danse and douchebag Deacon. 

“You guys really took this Christmas thing to heart. I can’t tell you how much it means to me,” Susan said, tightening her arms around them. She put her head on Hancock’s shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. 

Then MacCready pulled away and quickly dressed. “You’re worth it,” he said finally as he zipped up his pants. “Listen, I got some stuff I’ve got to take care of today. I’ll be back for dinner. Thanks for the scope, angel. See you, Hancock.” He barely looked at them as he slipped out of the room with his gift. 

Susan turned a puzzled face to him, obviously hoping he would be able to explain. “Do you know what that was all about?”

Hancock sighed. There was no point dancing around it. “Yeah, I do. Shoulda known it would happen. Don’t know how any guy could spend a night with you and not fall in love.”

“Oh,” she said. She cocked her head. “I love him,” she said slowly. Hancock’s heart skipped a beat when she looked at him. “Not like I love you, though.” 

He gathered her up in his arms. “Moments like this, I know all that karma stuff is bull. Because no one like me should be this lucky,” he said, his voice husky. 

“There’s something else I wanted to give you,” she told him. “And I couldn’t give it to you with him here.”

Hancock raised his brow. “More gifts? You’re making me feel bad now, sunshine.” But he let her get up. 

“Right, like you didn’t give me an apartment and a cat and a shower and a fucking Christmas,” Susan said as she grabbed her dress. He watched, bemused, as she found a tiny pocket concealed under the folds and pulled something out. 

She sat back down and opened her hand. She held two items, actually. Gold rings. She slipped the smaller one onto the third finger of her left hand and stared at the other one. 

“I’ve thought about this a lot. Whether you’d even want it. What you’d think it means. What it means to me. What Nate would think.” She swallowed. “But in the old world, when you wanted to let someone know how much they meant to you, you’d give them a ring.” 

Susan held out the gold circle and looked at him. 

Hancock stared at the ring. Susan let her hand fall down onto her leg when he didn’t immediately take it, and he couldn’t read the expression on her face. “Don’t know if I can accept this,” he said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” Hancock didn’t know what to say. “Don’t you want to be with me? You don’t have to wear it,” Susan added in a small voice. She seemed suddenly vulnerable and uncertain, and her hand closed over the ring. 

Hancock put his hand on top of her closed one. “That ain’t it. Being here with you, best damn thing that's ever happened to me.” He paused. “But come on. You don't want to wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for.” And that was the truth. Hancock still kept expecting her to suddenly realize she could have anyone she wanted, and why would she still want him? “Just don’t want you to make a decision you’re gonna regret.”

Susan unfolded her hand, watching his face. “I guess if I ever want it back, I’ll just kill you, cut your hand off, and take it.” She raised one slim eyebrow as she raised the ring back up in her flattened palm. 

Hancock laughed incredulously. But he took the ring, pushing it onto his finger. It fit passably well. He put his arms around her again. 

“Merry Christmas, John,” she whispered. 

“Merry Christmas, sunshine.”


	13. "Don't Think, Just Act"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan takes Hancock to her favorite spot in the Commonwealth and shows him what her idea of a good time really is.

It turned out Susan’s idea of fun was putting on power armor and climbing to the top of Trinity Tower. 

“What exactly is the point of all this, doll?” Hancock asked her when they got into the second elevator. 

“You’ll see,” she assured him. “Have you ever been up here? It’s the highest point in the Commonwealth.”

Hancock just shook his head. He was wearing her spare set of power armor, and once the novelty had worn off, he felt somewhat confined. They’d had to clear out some of the super mutants who had moved back into the tower since Susan had been here last, and he was grateful for the protection since they wore regular clothes underneath, but he’d be glad to get out of the damn getup. 

“Been to the tops of plenty of buildings,” he muttered. 

“What?”

“Nothin’,” he said. 

Hancock had been surprised when she wanted to put on the armor, and although he was always happy to tear up some greenskins with her, he wasn’t sure he would call floor after floor of killing super mutants fun. It was just a thing you did so you didn’t fucking die. 

They got out of the elevator and tromped up a couple more makeshift ramps. It was clear Susan knew exactly where to go and Hancock wondered how many times she’d been here. 

When they emerged on the roof, he looked around in surprise. He could see blue skies all around him. It was unsettling. Straight ahead was an immaculate chem station and a folding chair with a trunk in between. There was a sheltered area to the right with some generators, and Susan pulled him in there before he had quite gotten his bearings. 

She got out of her power armor, and so he did too, although it made him a little nervous being this high up without it. He got a chance to peek into another small room with an open door, and he saw a lantern and some papers with writing on them before she led him out onto the balcony. A low rail and path went all the way around the top, and Susan led him to the northeast corner, towards the Mass Fusion building. 

Hancock felt his mouth slowly fall open as he looked out onto the Commonwealth. He grabbed onto a thick wire running from the corner of the rail to the peak of the building just to keep his balance. The two of them stood there in silence for a long time as he looked out over the familiar yet unfamiliar sight. 

Hancock looked at Susan finally, and he saw she was watching him instead of the skyline, a tender look on her face. 

“See?” she said simply, and Hancock could only nod. “It’s actually a little better if you sit down.” She gestured to the right, where there were bars instead of a steel plate, and he sat carefully. She joined him, turned her Pip-Boy to Diamond City radio and set it next to them, then snuggled into his shoulder. He put his arm around her and he didn’t know how long they sat like that, but his ass was getting numb before he spoke. 

“Thought I might be able to see Goodneighbor,” Hancock said finally. Not even being able to find his tiny town in the urban sprawl made him feel insignificant. Shit, mayor of what, exactly? He knew it was just southeast of the Mass Fusion building, but he couldn’t see anything, not even the peaked roof of the Old State House. 

“You can’t quite see it from here,” Susan said apologetically. “There’s another building in the way. But look to the right of Mass Fusion. You see that collapsed sky bridge? Goodneighbor is right in that gap. If you look closely, you might see part of a red-and-yellow sign.” He squinted. “Here, look through my scope.” 

Susan got the scope for him, and he quickly found the billboard. “Life is...” Hancock read. 

She nodded. “That’s the one. It says, “Life is a Race. Win.”

“I know that sign! Seen it plenty of times… Lemme think… Just up and to the left when you’re standin’ in front of the Memory Den!” It was the kind of thing you didn’t really think about, there all the time but just part of the background. He looked at Susan in wonder. 

“When you’re standing in front of that sign, you can look down and see into Goodneighbor,” she said quietly, staring out at it. “You can see the Den, the Rex, the top of the Old State House. I’ll take you there later if you want,” she added.

“Lookin’ forward to it,” Hancock said. He didn’t know why a shadow had crossed over her face, but he wanted it to go away, so he put his hand on the back of her neck and kissed her. Susan responded with enthusiasm, kissing him lingeringly, then pulling him down behind her, so they were pressed together both facing the city. 

He kissed her ear, her neck, her arm, working his way down her, lifting her dress and putting his head underneath it. He got her to orgasm quickly, bringing her gasping with her gaze fixed on the skyline, then slid back up next to her. She reached around and helped him free his manhood, guide it to her entrance. When he was gently, slowly moving inside of her, she put both hands under her head as a pillow and continued to gaze out at the city, seeming mesmerized. 

Hancock wanted to take in the view, too, but he couldn’t stop looking at Susan. He couldn’t believe how fucking beautiful she looked with her blonde hair shining in the mid-afternoon sun, her green eyes full of bliss as she moaned softly out at the city. It was almost like she was making love to the Commonwealth instead of him. But he didn’t feel jealous. Some emotion he’d never felt before swelled up inside him, instead. 

She came first, a slow tide pulling him along with her until they were writhing together. Hancock kissed her then, turning her face to his, and she looked at him as if he was exactly as entrancing as the incredible skyline view. Shit, maybe a bit more. He held her afterwards until his arm started to go numb on the steel underneath him. He nudged her, and Susan sat up reluctantly, fixing her dress. 

“Is that why you wanted to wear power armor?” Hancock teased her. “So you could wear your dress underneath for easy access?”

“That’s one of the reasons,” Susan said, blushing.

“What’s the other reason, doll?”

“You’re about to find out.” Hancock gave her a look. “Why don’t you get into your power armor? Then I’ll show you.”

“You got me on the edge of my seat, sunshine.”

Susan dug something out of the green trunk, confirming his suspicion that this was her little hideaway. One of them, at least. They both got into their armor, and Hancock headed for the ramp, but she pulled him to the balcony, to a different side, and backed up against the shelter. She handed him one of the Jet cartridges she had retrieved from the trunk. 

“Do you trust me?” she asked him. 

“You even gotta ask that? Damn right I do.”

“Promise you’ll do what I tell you?” Hancock just nodded, but his heart was pounding. “You know how you always tell me, don’t think, just act?” Susan took his free hand. “Hit the Jet, the biggest dose you can get.” She inhaled strongly on her own cartridge. 

Shrugging, Hancock complied. The world slowed to a crawl as the chem kicked in. 

“Now jump!” And Susan dragged him forward. So he jumped. 

The fall from the top of the building could only have taken a few seconds, but it felt like forever with the Jet coursing through him. The buildings seemed to stroll by. He could hear her shrieking with delight the whole way. They slammed into the dirt explosively, leaving cracks in the ground like spiderwebs. 

Susan was still laughing. Hancock shook his head, his hands shaking. “That seriously your idea of a good time?”

“Oh fuck yeah,” she said enthusiastically. Then she started giggling again at the expression on his face. 

“Gotta be real crazy or real tough to survive out here. Guess I know which one you are.” Susan mock simpered at him though the power armor helmet. 

“Crazy he calls me, sure I’m crazy… Crazy in love… And mind,” she sang, quoting Billie Holiday. They were both laughing as they headed back towards Goodneighbor.  


	14. "Do My Best Work in the Dark"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan decides to show Hancock a secret place from her past. He doesn’t know quite how to take her confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I am describing an actual location where you can go stand in front of this sign in the game and look down into Goodneighbor. Unfortunately you can't actually see the sign from inside the town like you should be able to!

As they neared Goodneighbor, Susan debated whether or not she should make good on her promise to show Hancock the sign, ‘Life’s a Race, Win.’ Emotionally, she had been through a lot with that sign at her back. She decided it was worth whatever might happen, because what she had seen, what she had done - and almost done - still haunted her. 

So, when they got to Milton Hospital, she drew him off to the right even though the entrance to Goodneighbor was just ahead. “I wanna show you something,” she said simply. He raised his brow but said nothing, just following her. They walked under the GNN programming sign. 

Susan and Hancock had been this way plenty of times before; it was one of the common paths out of town and into the ruins. It led onto a walled-in overpass with an empty caravan, and they had to jump over a small gap and take care of the raider who had inevitably camped out in the cozy location. 

There were some slender ramps leading up to the left, and Susan pointed at them. “I slept there the first night after I left Goodneighbor,” she told him, and Hancock walked up to look inside the small shelter. There was a simple place to cook food and a small, tattered mattress. 

When he came out expressionless, she shrugged. “It wasn’t the first time,” Susan said. “I found this spot early. On the nights I couldn’t stand to go back to the Rexford, I came here.” She stared at the decapitated stuffed monkey sitting on the corner of the ramp. That thing had always creeped her out, even after she shot its head off with Sally.

They continued down the enclosed overpass until it sloped to the ground. Here Susan paused. If they kept going, there was an intersection with an old bank, and they had gone that way many times. Instead, she turned and doubled back to the right, heading down underneath the overpass. They had gone this way, too, but she stopped at a rickety set of metal stairs to her left she doubted Hancock had ever been up, or even noticed. 

They climbed the stairs in their power armor and silence. At the top of the stairs was the entrance to Pinnacle High-Rise, but Susan just moved to the left past it. She led Hancock up a tiny ledge, across a broken roof, and then they were standing in front of the red-and-yellow sign. 

A few moments went by as they stood there, looking up at it, then Susan backed up to an open spot and got out of her power armor. Hancock did the same and joined her when she sat on the wide ledge in front of the sign. She set her Pip Boy to Freedom Radio and the sound of violins filled the night. They stared down into Goodneighbor.

“I came up here the night I left,” Susan said quietly, grateful he was letting her just speak without trying to make conversation. Hancock must have sensed how important this was to her. “I came up here every chance I got when I was away. Anytime I passed through, I would climb up here and look down into town.” It was a stunning view. From where they sat, one entire side of Goodneighbor was in sight, including the east entrance to the Old State House. 

“I watched the people come and go. I wished I could join them.” Susan paused. “I hoped I would see you.”

“Did you?” Hancock asked, turning to look at her. He twined his fingers in hers. 

“Yeah,” she said. “A couple times.”

“It’s a good thing you didn’t wanna waste me,” he noted. “This is a helluva sniper’s nest you got up here. You coulda put a bullet through my head ‘fore I even knew there was a threat.”

“Yeah,” Susan agreed flatly. She paused as they both considered that. “I thought about it, the first time I saw you,” she admitted. 

“Were you that mad at me, sunshine?” Hancock asked roughly.

“It was more the company you were keeping,” she replied evenly. “It was a few nights after I left.”

When the implications sank in, Susan saw Hancock shaking his head out of the corner of her eye. “You got the worst timin’ in the world, doll,” he informed her. 

“I know,” she said bleakly.

They both knew the night in question; it was the day her weekly contract with the Rex had been up, and Clair found her room empty. Hancock had been walking to the State House arm in arm with Trish and Jackie when she’d seen him. 

“I never woulda imagined…” Hancock broke off, and he looked truly shaken. “You were here that night? Thought you were at Sanctuary.”

“Preston asked me to help him with that sea monster at the Castle as soon as I showed up,” she replied. “It only took me a couple days to feel ready. I looked at the map and saw Goodneighbor wasn’t exactly out of the way. So I told him to go ahead, but I had to stop through here on my way.” Susan laughed humorlessly. “Of course I did.”

Hancock didn’t mince words. “So why didn’t you shoot me?”

“It all happened so quickly. You came from the left out of the Rail, I guess, and you three,” Susan emphasized the word, “were in the State House before I could even move.” She paused and swallowed. “I had my Fat Man with me,” she confessed. “For the monster. I had it... I had it loaded in my arms. I thought about destroying the whole fucking town with a couple mini nukes. Bye bye, Goodneighbor!”

“Why didn’t you?” Hancock asked quietly.

“Too many innocents,” Susan said. “Including you,” she added. “It wasn’t your fault. When I saw you, I felt angry at first. Then I felt... devastated. It was like you’d already forgotten about me. But then I realized how lonely you must’ve felt. I know, because I felt...” Susan trailed off, staring down into town.

Hancock put his arm around her shoulders. She had wanted to be mad, to feel betrayed; but now that she was here, all she really wanted was to make sure that he knew she didn’t blame him. She doubted anything could’ve made him feel worse than the truth, anyway. His expression as he stared down into the town told her everything she needed to know. She leaned into him. 

“We should probably go down for dinner,” Susan said after a while. “It’s getting dark.”

“Heh. Do my best work in the dark, anyway,” Hancock replied. He turned her to face him with his arm around her shoulders. “I love you,” he said. 

“I love you, too,” she said, grateful he hadn’t tried to defend himself or play stupid. 

“It was just that one time,” he told her, his voice rough. “When I knew you were gone. Didn’t make me feel good,” he admitted. “Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you. Didn’t seem fair to anyone.”

Susan took a deep breath. She felt like she had unnecessarily opened half-healed wounds. “It’s in the past,” she reminded him. “I wouldn’t care if it had been every night. Well, I might care a little,” she said when he snorted, “but it wasn’t my business. I had no claim on you.” They both looked at the ring on his finger.

“Can’t believe you never told me,” Hancock said. “All this time. Can’t believe you even came back.”

“I needed help getting through the Glowing Sea. Remember?” She poked him in the ribs but he didn’t smile.

“You said you saw me a coupla times, yeah? What about the other times?”

Susan hadn’t wanted to tell him. But he was as perceptive as always, and she could tell he wasn’t going to let it go. “I did see you again. About a week later, after a Railroad mission. HQ isn’t far from here, and I came by a lot of times in the evening after a job, just listening to music on my Pip-Boy, quietly, so no one would hear me. I usually sat down there,” she said, gesturing behind the ledge they sat on. “It was late. I was about to go back down to that shelter off the overpass when I saw you come out the front door of the State House.” 

Hancock seemed to be holding his breath. “Was I alone?”

“Yeah,” she replied.

“Thank fuck,” he muttered.

“Actually, you were all alone. I didn’t see anyone else. All the drifters were tucked into bed. Clair had even gone to bed. I watched her light go out. I used to always wait to go back to the Rex until that light was out if I could. Anyway… You stopped in the middle of town and stared at the Rex for a second.” She wondered if he would remember.

“Was that the night I gave her the double bird?” Hancock asked.

“Yeah,” Susan said with a giggle. “You just suddenly flipped the building off with both hands like it insulted you. I laughed, and you must’ve heard me because you turned to look this way.”

Hancock nodded, then shook his head. She understood his contradictory emotions. “I almost thought you saw me, so I turned on my stealth boy so I’d be invisible. You just stood there for a long time, looking out into the night. It felt like you were looking right at me. You stared this way long enough I got my scope so I could look at your face more clearly. You looked so sad, so lost, bereft…” Susan stopped, feeling overwhelmed as she remembered. She’d had a feeling he was flipping off the Rex because of the way they’d treated her, and that, combined with the desperate look on his face, had been the real reason she came back. 

“Thought I was losin’ it that night,” Hancock said hoarsely. “Knew I heard you laugh. But I was high as a kite and I just convinced myself it was in my head.” Then he did a double-take. “Wait. You tellin’ me you had Headshot pointed at my skull?”

“That is generally how I look through a scope. I had the safety on,” Susan added defensively. 

“Still, sunshine. That’s the kind of shit nightmares are made of.” 

She snorted a laugh. “Anyway, that’s why I came back. I saw you flip off the Rex, and I thought I knew why. I saw your face when you thought you heard me laugh. I decided I would do it that night. It took me longer to get up the courage, though. And to figure out what kind of appearance to make.” Susan laughed. “I thought about jumping down into Goodneighbor from here in my power armor.”

It was getting close to time for dinner. They could see a steady trickle of people going into the Third Rail. She stretched and was about to get up to head back when he pulled her to him with a fierce hug. “I love you,” Hancock said again.

“I know,” Susan whispered. 

They took the long way around back into town.


	15. "Details and Drug Paraphernalia"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock and Susan enjoy Christmas dinner with some friends, although MacCready never returns. After, Susan has a request for Hancock, but will he do what she says she wants?

It was exactly like a party. 

The Rail was packed. Hancock had never seen such a crowd. Food was spread out over the bar, and people were helping themselves buffet style. Diamond City Radio, significantly improved now that Travis had gotten his shit together, played loudly in the background. Hancock had just gotten settled onto his favorite spot when he heard a murmur go up. Susan had arrived. 

Hancock had left her a short time ago at the entrance to Kill or Be Killed, where she had exited her power armor silently and given him a small smile before scurrying up the stairs to her apartment. Her confession had shaken him; not so much that she had seen him with the girls, although that was bad enough, but that she had thought about destroying the town with nuclear rage because of it. That she had aimed her sniper rifle at him. 

He could tell from the way she talked about it that her reaction was what was bothering her. Like she was afraid she had some kind of mass murderer mask just waiting to come out. 

He could hear the masses greeting her, and Hancock expected to have to wait to talk to her while she did her rounds, but Susan pushed through the crowd politely, her destination clear. She sat down so close to him she was practically in his lap, and he pulled her to him, feeling pleased and grateful. “You feelin’ okay?” he asked her. 

“Yeah,” Susan said, sounding kind of surprised. “I’m glad I told you.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, then leaned in close to his ear. “But did you notice how I couldn’t even have one fun day without turning into an emotional wreck?” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you deal with it.”

Hancock had to laugh. “I got you, sunshine. Everything else is details and drug paraphernalia.” That made her smile. 

Neither of them seemed to want to socialize much, and they sat on the sofa watching the drifters and Triggermen and everyone else enjoying the kind of Christmas that had never before come to Goodneighbor. Some people approached them for conversation throughout the evening, but MacCready never returned like he had promised. Hancock thought about how Susan had reacted when he told her the sniper was in love with her. He could tell she wished she would’ve tried harder to make him feel included the night before.

Danse never showed up, and Deacon might have but if so, his disguise was excellent. 

Nick Valentine the synth detective approached them at one point. “Well, if it isn’t Beauty and the Beast,” he said when he saw them cuddled together on the sofa. 

“Watch it. The lady don’t like bein' called a beast,” Hancock rasped as Susan laughed, shaking her head. “Good to see you again, Nick,” he added. 

“Hancock,” Nick replied.

“Hey Nick,” Susan said. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to thank you again for everything you’ve done for me. If it wasn’t for you risking your brain, I’d never even have found out Kellogg was working for the Institute.” She smiled warmly at him. 

“Plying Kellogg's gray matter must've been a wild ride. Can't say I'm not a little jealous,” Hancock put in. Nick and Susan just looked at him, and she shook her head, smiling in bemusement. 

“So anyone ask about me down there in the Institute?” Nick said, and Hancock knew him well enough to know he was trying to sound casual when the question was anything but.

“Sorry, Nick,” Susan replied. “No one mentioned you and I didn’t think you would want me to share any information about you, so I didn’t bring it up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Nick said, but he seemed disappointed. “At least I know you’re good at keeping secrets.” Susan studiously avoided looking at Hancock. “You two stay outta trouble.”

“Come on, Nick. You know I don’t make promises I won’t keep,” Hancock told him. 

After Nick wandered away, Hancock poked her in the ribs and she rolled her eyes ostentatiously while he snickered. “Good at keepin’ secrets,” he chortled in her ear.

And Preston Garvey was there, in his Minuteman gear, as Hancock had thought he might be. He had noticed Garvey’s attraction to Susan when he first met the man in Sanctuary. When Hancock had asked her about it, she had just rolled her eyes and said he was a nice guy but had struck her as terribly naïve.

“Don’t let him talk you into anything you’ll regret later,” was the only thing Preston said to her, glaring at Hancock.

“What, you jealous?” Hancock shot back at him, and Susan looked like she was fighting not to giggle. She assured Garvey she wouldn’t, but her cheeks were bright red.

Hancock chuckled inwardly as he thought about all the things he had already talked her into. Nothing she regretted, he hoped, but things that would probably blow Garvey’s mind.

Hancock started to feel tired as the evening wound down. He took a hit of Jet and handed it to Susan, but she just stared at it, looking as weary as he felt. “Let’s get outta here,” he said. 

Back at the State House, she was loving but distant. She responded to his kisses and caresses, but her detachment discouraged him and they lay down together in their underwear without anything more happening. Shit, they’d already had Christmas morning and Trinity Tower fun, anyway. 

Hancock pulled Susan tight against him, wondering if she regretted telling him about her sign secret despite her claims, trying to decide if he should attempt to bring her back to him with sex. He probably could, but he felt like it might be a betrayal of the trust she had in him. 

“I have to go into the ruins tomorrow by myself,” Susan said into her pillow. 

“Why?” Hancock asked. She didn’t respond. “Not sure that’s a great idea, doll. You oughta take someone with you, even if it ain’t me.”

“I can’t,” Susan said. 

“Why not?” Silence. “Sunshine? Why not? Talk to me.”

“There’s this thing I have to do. A... difficult task.”

“Let me help ya,” Hancock said persuasively. 

Susan turned her head to look at him. “Are you sure?” Her tone held a warning that he didn’t understand. But he didn’t care what it was, dammit. And he was tired of the fucking secrets. 

“Sure I’m sure. We’re in this together. I’d do anything for ya,” Hancock said roughly. 

The expression on her face changed. “I guess we’ll see,” Susan said, but she seemed touched by his earnestness. She parted her lips with a lick, and he took the unspoken invitation, kissing her gently at first, then more ardently. “I’m still a little sore from earlier,” she told him apologetically, but she turned towards him, and he wasn’t sure how to interpret her mixed signals. 

“That mean you want me to stop?” Hancock purred. 

“No,” she said, the blush that amused him so much creeping into her cheeks. “Just... be gentle.” 

“You got it, doll.” He took his time, in no hurry and feeling less tired than he’d felt in the crowded Rail. He kissed her lightly, just a brush of lips: her mouth, her little round nose, her cheeks, her eyelids when they fluttered closed. Susan lay there passively while he stroked her from palms to knees, leaving kisses on her collarbone, her rib cage, trailing them down her belly then moving back up to take a pert nipple into his mouth. 

Hancock was laying between her legs, about to move to lower regions, when Susan stopped him, her hand on his face drawing his gaze to hers. She wore a peculiar expression. 

“I want you to show me what you did with them,” she said in a rush. 

Fuck, he thought when her words penetrated the fog of his lust. Why was she so hung up on this? He'd never met anyone who was jealous like Susan was. Hancock wore a ring she had given him. He called her his girlfriend, and that was a term he hadn’t hung on anyone for years. He shared her with MacCready, for fuck’s sake. And after tonight, everyone in the Commonwealth knew they were an item. Why did she have to overthink everything? 

“Not an option, sunshine,” he told her. 

“Why not?” she asked.

“You told me to be gentle,” he reminded her. She just stared at him. Hancock took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. “How bout I show you what I didn’t do with them, Susan?”

Her eyes widened as he used her name, and she gave him a tiny nod. Hancock pulled her legs up around him and she hooked her ankles together obediently behind him. With skilled fingers he stroked the backs of her thighs the way she loved, kissing her deeply, grinding his pelvis into hers just slightly. When she moaned into his mouth in pleasure, he said, “Didn’t do that,” into hers.

Hancock moved lower, taking his time, wrapping his arms up under her legs so he could hold them apart, tugging her panties aside so he could lick her wet crevice. Long strokes of his tongue from her rose to her clit had her gasping and clutching at him. 

“Didn’t do that,” he told her, his mouth still on her, and then he added fingers, sliding them gently into her, remembering her admonition of soreness. He stroked the spot where she reacted the most, his tongue dancing expertly over her until she climaxed, gasping his name almost desperately. 

Susan was still trembling when Hancock rolled her over onto her stomach, spreading her cheeks with his hands, and she practically yelped when he licked her the first time, bucking her hips in pleasure. 

Hancock just grinned and continued giving her long licks until she stopped convulsing, then pushed his tongue into her backside. She seemed to be having trouble breathing, and he growled in satisfaction. He trailed kisses up her spine until his mouth was by her ear. “Didn’t do that, either,” he purred. 

Hancock took her earlobe between his lips, sucking it gently, then holding it with the tips of his teeth. She seemed stunned, her eyes glazed with passion. He held her trapped by his mouth as he smoothly unbuckled his belt, opened his pants and pressed himself against her.

But he released her before he penetrated her. Deft fingers checked her wetness, thumbs spread her lips gently, and he put the head of his cock at her entrance; then he paused, his weight still pressing her down, his mouth still by her cheek. 

“Do you want me?” Hancock growled roughly into her ear, and he knew that she knew he was asking for more than consent. He was asking if she could accept him, his past, his baggage, the comedy of errors that was his life. He was asking if she wanted not just his cock inside her, but him in her life. 

“Yes,” Susan whispered. 

“Tell me,” he said. “Say it.” 

“I want you,” she breathed. 

“Say my name,” Hancock purred. 

“I want you, John, oh god. I want you,” she whimpered. She tried to push up with her hips, but he held her tightly. With agonizing slowness, he dipped into her just shallowly, pulled back out, did it again. Each time Hancock went a little deeper, but his pace had her cursing him and begging him for more, which was just what he wanted. 

When her fluttering fingers tried to grab his hips and pull him closer, he just chuckled and captured her hands in his, stretching them up over her head. He held them there together in one hand and slid the other one underneath her to stimulate her clit expertly. 

Hancock stayed slow, shallow, and gentle, riding her lightly, delicately; her helpless moaning let him know when she was close, and only after she was convulsing around him did he finally give her his entire length, growling in satisfaction as he thrust into her wet heat. It wasn’t easy but he gritted his teeth and kept from exploding into her as she climaxed. Hancock wasn’t ready to be done. He wanted to see her face when he came. 

Hancock hadn’t done that with them, either, but he didn’t tell Susan. She didn’t seem to require further assurances. 

He wanted her on top but he wasn’t sure if she had the wherewithal. Still, he rolled onto his back hopefully, and she surprised him by rousing herself enough to straddle him. She maneuvered him into her and settled on his chest with a sigh, her head next to his so her long hair spread over his face like a curtain. He wrapped his arms around her, barely moving his pelvis, letting her set the pace this time. 

Susan moved on him, slowly at first but then more, and he just relaxed and let himself enjoy the feel of her soft skin against his ravaged body, the warmth and scent of her, the quiet noises of pleasure she made that drove him wild. 

Hancock hadn’t done that with them, either. 

Susan sat up after a few minutes, and her green gaze locked onto him as she licked her fingers and put them between her legs. He could feel himself getting close as she rode him, moaning, and when she came so did he, thrusting into her as she cried her pleasure, his hands full of her breasts. She collapsed onto him, panting, and Hancock crushed her to his chest, holding her tightly. 

“I love you, sunshine. I don’t love them.”


	16. "Easy as Blueberry Pie"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan finally share her gruesome secret with Hancock. But he’s happy to show her freaks have to stick together. It’s easy living when you have someone like Hancock.

The next morning Susan woke early, feeling nervous, and she tried to ease out of bed without waking Hancock up, but his eyes opened when she moved. So much for slipping away alone like she had hoped. “I’m going to go put on my stealth stuff,” she told him. 

“I’ll meet you downstairs in a little while, sunshine,” Hancock responded immediately. “Don’t leave without me, ya dig?”

Susan lingered in her room, petting and cooing at Hope, her thoughts in a whirl. Was she really ready to share this gruesome, intimate detail of her life with him? 

Well, there was only one way to find out. She dressed in military fatigues and mismatched armor, grabbed some Stimpaks and other supplies, dropping them into her pack, and then got her stealth boy. Susan just stared at it for a long time. She usually used it to conceal what she was going to do today, and as far she knew no one had ever seen her do it. She wondered if she would need it today. She got a combat knife and grabbed the last item she needed. 

Hancock was waiting for her, wearing the custom-made set of armor the Minutemen had offered when she became General. Susan hadn’t wanted any for herself, but she had asked them to make it in Hancock’s size, so that now he had something to wear in his style but with some protection. She thought he looked even more handsome and dangerous than usual with the dark coat, the leather gloves and boots.

They trooped out into the ruins. “You got a destination, sunshine?” Hancock asked her, and Susan just shook her head. When she was doing this she never tried to tackle large groups. She usually just cleared out whatever trash she happened to find as she wandered. Amari had told her humans were best, so that’s what she looked for. 

It didn’t take long. Susan saw a couple of gunners camping out in the street a short distance from Goodneighbor. She crouched, nodding to Hancock. She pulled out Headshot and aimed carefully. The first one’s head exploded before they ever even knew someone was there. “What the fuck? You killed her!” she heard another one holler. A man ran up and paused, and that was all Susan needed. He crumpled in a heap next to his companion. 

She could hear one more at least, and there was a machine gun turret. A gunner wielding a chain-wrapped baseball bat suddenly appeared around a wrecked car in front of her, and she calmly shot his leg. When he collapsed to the ground swearing, Hancock finished him with a shotgun shell. They waited, then crept forward when they didn’t hear anything else. Susan got a good bead on the turret, and it exploded in one shot. 

They reached the small camp, and one last gunner came running out screaming; Susan had switched to her shotgun and she bashed the woman, stunning her, then shot her in the head. She collapsed to the ground. 

“Handled yourself pretty well, sister,” Hancock said, sounding proud. Susan just nodded, staring at the corpse in front of her. She knelt down without looking at him. Pulling out her combat knife, she took a deep breath.

“There’s no synthetic source for the thyroid hormone I need,” Susan explained quietly. She put the tip of her knife in the gunner’s throat and made a careful cut. “I come out here in the ruins sometimes and collect thyroids.” Two cuts perpendicular to the first were followed by a final slash as she cut out the gland out in a rectangular slab. 

Peeling it out carefully, Susan couldn’t make herself look at Hancock. She just put the strip of flesh into a cryo container, delaying the moment she’d have to see the expression on his face. 

“Like this?” she heard. Susan turned her head slowly to look at Hancock. He was crouched over the body of another gunner, and he held a slab similar to hers, possibly even more neatly cut. Blood dripped from the tip of his knife. He just looked at her. 

“Yeah,” she said, with an upward inflection. “That’s.... Perfect.” He grunted his approval as he handed her the flesh. They cut the glands from the last two gunners. Hancock looked at her like he was wondering what the real secret was. 

Susan put the flesh into the container. She looked at him. “Is that it, doll?” Hancock asked. She regarded him in amazement. Then she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him. 

“That’s it,” she murmured into his ear. Why had she waited so long to show him? His reaction made her feel like anything was possible. “I mean, I need a few more, but that’s all there is to it.”

“Easy as blueberry pie,” Hancock said, grinning at her. Susan studied him. 

“Thank you,” she said softly. He shrugged like it was no big deal. “I feel like you took me on a date,” Susan added shyly. 

“Not sure what the date is, doll, don’t you have it on your Pip-Boy?” 

She giggled. “Not the date, A date.” So she had to explain that.

After she’d given the container to Amari, who seemed surprised to see them both, Susan led Hancock back to the State house, feeling urgently like she needed some time alone with him.

She saw Nicky smirk as she led the mayor into his bedroom, but she just gave the Triggerman a raised eyebrow and a look that said, ‘You wish’. His envious eyes followed them as the door shut. 

“I want you,” Susan told Hancock as soon as they were alone. 

“I know it, doll,” he growled in response, and her breath caught at his confidence, his acceptance. 

Hancock kissed her, and she surrendered to him, wrapping her arms around him, responding to him almost desperately. With her skilled fingers and eager mouth, she tried to let him know how much what he had done meant to her. What a man he was! Susan couldn’t believe how good he made her feel. She purred like a kitten as he stimulated her with his clever fingers. How she loved him! 

On the radio, came a song Susan had never completely understood before. But as she whispered the lyrics into what was left of his ear, she felt like she knew what Billie Holliday meant for the first time. Yes, Billie, she thought. It’s easy living. 

Living for you is easy living

It's easy to live when you're in love

And I'm so in love

There's nothing in life but you  
 


	17. "I'm a Glutton, Sunshine"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan is confronted with a situation that she wishes she could get out of. But when Hancock takes the advice she gave him, she finds she can’t just let it go. Then they have a surprise visitor.

Susan was standing at a bureau off to the side of the VIP room, finger combing her hair into place in front of the mirror she’d gotten Hancock to put in. They’d just had a very lovely interlude; the first time Susan had ever let Hancock seduce her in the Third Rail. Her heart was still pounding. God, he pushed her buttons. 

“You look like a banquet, doll,” he’d told her when she strolled in this evening, lust in his dark eyes. Susan was wearing the green dress Hancock had given her, and her long blond hair was neatly brushed. 

“Don’t you ever get enough?” she’d asked him teasingly. 

“I’m a glutton, sunshine,” Hancock had told her, pulling her onto his lap. Then he had....

The VIP door swung open. Susan blinked quickly, trying to stop thinking about what he had done because she wouldn’t be able to stop blushing. 

A familiar and unwelcome sound filled the room. “Heya Hancock,” Susan heard, then, “Hey baby,” from a second feminine voice. 

“Hey, ladies,” Hancock said gruffly.

Susan pulled a cigarette from the pack in front of her and lit it. She had quit before the war, but it hadn’t seemed to matter much when she woke up in this wasteland. Hancock smoked like a chimney and she had found a smoke to be a good way to ease into a difficult situation. Like this one.

Both drifters started when they heard the lighter spark. They hadn’t seen Susan standing far to the right in the room. 

“Hey Trish, hey Jackie,” Susan said casually. Only then did she turn to face them, blowing smoke out into the VIP room. 

The two women looked at her distastefully. “Hey,” Trish said flatly. “Susan, right?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Susan replied, as if to an especially slow student who had finally answered a question correctly. She didn’t look at Hancock. She was thinking about just leaving.

The last thing she felt like doing tonight after what had just happened was playing catty with some of Hancock’s regular lovers. He could handle this.

But the pair was between her and the door. 

“Nice to see you again,” Trish said but not as if she meant it. She looked at Hancock and smirked, and Susan knew she must be thinking about how Susan had put her in her place last time they met, but only a few days later Hancock had fucked her in this very room. And a few days after that, he’d had a threesome with the two. 

“I’m sure it’s mutual,” Susan said with equal authenticity. She reminded herself that just before they showed up, Hancock had been...

“Yeah,” Trish said. “Whatever,” she added saucily. She swayed her hips as she walked to the red couch, and sat next to Hancock, who just watched her, expressionless. Jackie sat in the chair on his other side. The women looked at her smugly. 

Susan took a long drag off her cigarette. They were out of the way. She was going to just walk out the door and let Hancock handle this situation. Despite her irritation, she couldn’t stop thinking about how Hancock had put his hand under her dress and...

Trish looked away from Susan, facing Hancock. She gave him a sultry smile and put her hand on his shoulder. 

Susan took a few steps towards the door. She was kind of hoping Hancock would say something. But he was silent, and she suddenly realized she couldn’t just turn and walk away. It felt like retreating. 

She was a General. 

“So, what brings you to Goodneighbor?” Susan said, turning, taking one step towards the red couch and looking at Trish. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hancock’s brow go up. 

“Just passin’ through,” Trish said, but she didn’t look at Susan. She stroked Hancock’s shoulder. 

“Oh yeah?” Susan said softly, taking one more step forward. She reminded herself that Hancock had just had his tongue on her...

“Yeah,” Trish said, giggling. She still didn’t look at Susan. “We had a real nice time last time we was here,” she added. “Didn’t we, Jackie?”

“Oh yeah,” Jackie tittered, and soon they were both laughing. 

Susan started laughing, too. She kept laughing after both of the other women had stopped, thinking about how Hancock had showed her all the things he did with her that he hadn’t done with them. 

Trish finally looked at her. The smile slid off the drifter’s face. 

All three of them stared at Susan. She took a few more steps until she stood directly in front of Trish; so close the woman leaned back, looking uncomfortable. Her hand dropped from Hancock’s shoulder. Susan took a long drag off her cigarette.

“So I heard,” Susan told her seductively, leaning down slightly. She let the smoke drift out of her mouth so it hung in the air between her and the woman. She saw Hancock’s eyes widen. But Susan just stared at Trish like she was the entree at dinner. She looked at her lingeringly from top to bottom and back up, just the barest hint of a smirk on her face. 

Hancock’s jaw dropped.

Trish swallowed. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Susan replied matter-of-factly. She turned away, walking a slow, small circle in front of the trio, hitting the cigarette like it owed her money. She stopped in front of Hancock. She looked at Jackie first. “I’ve been meaning to tell you. I really appreciate,” she turned to Trish, “You entertaining Hancock for me while I was out of town.” 

Hancock shook his head at her in astonishment as she finally looked at him and smiled. 

Susan waited, a part of her hoping someone would respond to her last comment, a part of her thinking, are you fucking kidding me? Did you just say you appreciated them ENTERTAINING HANCOCK FOR YOU?

But she couldn’t stop grinning as she looked at Hancock, thinking about the way he had touched her like she was a precious jewel and he was a lapidary. Like she was the only thing in that world that mattered.

So Susan was smiling broadly and genuinely when she said, “I’ll let the three of you catch up.” And she turned on her heel to walk out of the VIP room. 

“Wait,” Hancock said suddenly. He stood up and stepped over to her. Susan stopped and half turned back to face him. He took her hand in his, the hand with a ring. 

“Don’t forget our plans tonight,” he said in his gravelly voice, slowly bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

“I haven’t forgotten,” Susan told him, even though they hadn’t spoken about what they were going to do that evening. “I’m looking forward to it,” she added. It would’ve seemed petty to look at Trish after all that. 

So Susan only did it briefly. 

She shut the door behind her.

Out in the main room of the Third Rail, Susan relaxed. Whitechapel Charlie waved an appendage at her. She sat on a barstool and grinned at him. It was like nothing could ruin her good mood.

Hancock had that effect on her. 

When she saw Trish and Jackie walk out of the VIP room a few minutes later, she didn’t even look at them. She drank the whiskey Chuck had given her and was chortling about some insult he’d thrown when she felt a warm hand on her back. 

“You are a helluva woman,” Hancock informed her.

“I know it,” Susan told him, not looking up from her drink, a smile playing with the edge of her mouth.

Hancock bent down and wrapped his arms around her. “Shall we adjourn?” he said into her ear, clearly mocking her earlier tone. 

“Comme tu veux,” she said lightly. She didn’t look at him. 

“Come on, sunshine,” Hancock growled. “You know I don’t speak fancy.”

Susan just looked at him. “Oui,” she agreed.

“WE should go back to the VIP room,” Hancock said. Susan felt a smile playing with the corner of her mouth. But she was feeling a little irritated at him for just sitting there and saying nothing. 

They were past the point in their relationship where she would just be cold and hope he figured it out. That shit never flew with him. So Susan said, “Any particular reason you didn’t put in your two caps back there?”

“You fuckin’ kiddin’ me? What, and miss the show?” Hancock put his hand on the back of her neck, chucking evilly. “You told me to shut the fuck up sometimes. Just followin’ your very wise advice.”

Susan just looked up at him, shaking her head. “What did you say after I left?”

“I told ‘em they were just candles, and you was the sunshine, baby.”

Susan snorted a laugh. “Seriously?”

“I told ‘em they were little girls and you were a woman,” Hancock purred in her ear. 

“Bullshit,” Susan giggled. She paused. “What else you got?”

“Sounds like someone’s fishing for compliments,” he told her. “I got you. What else could I need?”

“I just wonder how many more pretty girls I’m going to have to terrify,” Susan said lightly.

Hancock put his hand on her cheek and turned his face to hers. “There ain’t no other pretty girls,” he said. She just stared at him. He sighed. “I showed ‘em my ring and said I would be unavailable for future opportunities.” 

Susan shook her head. Suddenly she realized it didn’t matter what he had told them. Not even a little bit.

Hancock and Susan were sitting on the red couch at the Third Rail later that evening, drinking beer and probably snuggling a bit more intimately than was socially acceptable. Probably why they were alone in the VIP room. Not everyone seemed to think the sight of ravaged skin pressed against smooth was as attractive as Susan did. 

She couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t believe how Hancock had accepted her last big secret with such aplomb the other day. He certainly took it better than she’d handled his past today, she thought ruefully. She put her head on his shoulder and he pulled her close, his strong hand on her hip. 

“So a ghoul walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve ghouls here." Ghoul says, "That's fine. Is the human fresh?" 

Susan laughed, shaking her head, pressing her face into his neck as she closed her eyes. She loved the way he could always make her laugh. 

“I don’t want to intrude,” came a familiar voice. Susan sat up straight, her eyes widening.

“Mac!” she exclaimed. 

The sniper stood in front of them, wearing a strange expression. MacCready wasn’t looking at their faces. He was looking back-and-forth between the rings on their fingers. 

Susan curled up her hand self-consciously. She stood up, wanting to give Mac a hug, but his attitude was putting her off. 

“Why didn’t you come back for Christmas, honey?” Susan asked him. She twined her fingers in his, and his expression softened. 

“I think you know why,” MacCready told her. He looked down. “It’s not your fault,” he added. He looked at Hancock. 

“Suppose it must be mine?” Hancock said, but kindly.

Mac shook his head. “No,” he said. “It’s my fault.” He took a deep breath. “It was different when it was my girlfriend. You didn’t know her before,” he told Hancock. “We all knew it was just one night. But this…” He looked at Susan and broke off, shaking his head again and looking down. 

Susan felt her heart go out to him. She pressed herself against him and his arms went around her. She thought about saying ‘I’m sorry,’ but instead she decided to say, “Thank you for coming back.” There was nothing for her to feel sorry for. She loved Mac as much as she could. 

There was a hint of a smile on his face when he pulled back and saw her tender expression. But it slipped away as he touched the gold ring on her finger. “Did I miss the ceremony?”

“Wasn’t like that,” Hancock said. 

“No,” Susan said gently. 

MacCready took a deep breath. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come back,” he said, but Susan felt like his eyes were pleading with her to argue. 

She clung to him. “I’m glad you did,” she said, realizing it was true. She pulled him to the couch so she was sandwiched between the two men. But she understood why Mac held himself away. The secrets and the joy she had shared with Hancock were not a part of her relationship with MacCready. 

“So, did you do something for fun on Christmas?” Mac asked, obviously trying to lighten the mood or change the subject. 

“If you could call it that,” Hancock growled. “She’s fuckin’ crazy. She made me jump off Trinity Tower high on Jet.” 

MacCready laughed incredulously. “In power armor, I hope?”

“I MADE you?” Susan exclaimed. “Look at you. Look at me. Could I really make you do anything you didn’t want to do?”

Both Hancock and Mac looked at her like she was fucking stupid. Susan rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she said. But she was smiling. 

“Susan likes to do all sorts of crazy shit,” Hancock announced. 

“Yeah, like you,” she interjected, poking him. Then she realized their easy banter wasn’t making Mac feel any better. 

Susan turned to Mac. “I’d jump off a tall building with you, too,” she told him. 

Mac gave her a small smile. “In power armor, I hope,” he said again. 

“Jet first,” she reminded him, handing him the cart Hancock pressed into her hand. 

Mac took it, inhaling deeply, and Susan took a hit after him. She put her hand on his knee. They sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the buzz, and she was starting to wonder if she should do something when Hancock pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He took a deep drag off it and handed it to Susan. 

“Like to fuck you both,” he said bluntly, turning to look at them. 

Susan laughed at him incredulously, then turned to see Mac’s reaction. A faint blush stole into the sniper’s cheeks. She handed him the cigarette. 

Mac took a long puff, shaking his head. “You’re both insane,” he informed them.

“Is that a yes?” Susan asked brightly. MacCready locked his gaze to hers. 

“Yes,” he said. 

Susan stood up and turned around. She grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the floor and took a swig. She handed it to Mac who hit it before handing it to Hancock.

“Let’s go,” she said, holding out a hand to each of them.


	18. "Big Damn Hero"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will MacCready be able to handle being a third wheel in Susan and Hancock’s relationship? Hancock tries to take Susan on a date, but everything goes seriously wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR NON-CONSENSUAL ACTIVITY!
> 
> If you want to skip this chapter, TL;DR is at the bottom.
> 
> Okay, so, I feel like I have to explain this. Especially with everything that’s been going on in the news lately, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Susan’s actions would have consequences that wouldn’t just go away. The thing I dislike most about Fallout is how unrealistically it shows how life would be for a woman, particularly a charismatic, attractive woman, in the lawless post-apocalyptic wasteland. So, this scene is the result of that. And I almost want to apologize. But it’s integral to the story now. So here it is.

Back at the State House, Susan pushed the men down onto the bed. She stood there with her arms crossed. Hancock grinned at the look of determination on her face.

“A little bird told me you two have been known to entertain each other without my presence,” she informed them, raising an eyebrow. “I asked around after... that first time,” she said.

The two men stared at her. Then they looked at each other. MacCready looked away first. “That was years ago, doll,” Hancock said, shaking his head at her. “Helluva lot more fun with you in the mix, anyway.”

“Anyway,” Susan repeated mockingly. “I wouldn’t mind seeing what you did when I wasn’t around.” She raised the other eyebrow. She tapped her foot.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Mac said after a moment. He got up without looking at either of them and tried to brush past Susan.

“Wait,” Susan said, sounding concerned. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. I’m just teasing.”

Mac finally looked at her. “It’s not that. It’s just the way you two are around each other. How comfortable you are with each other. Your matching rings. The fact that you left him a note when you left for the Institute, but you didn’t leave me one.” 

He paused, and Hancock could tell from her expression that Susan felt terrible. “It’s like every minute here with you is a reminder of what I don’t have. I thought I could deal with it, but I don’t think I can. I’m sorry, angel. I think you should know that I…” MacCready stopped. “I care about you a lot,” he finished. “Maybe someday I’ll get over caring about how you look at him compared to how you look at me.”

“Oh, Mac,” she said softly, her voice full of sympathy and tenderness. She tried to take his face in her hands but he took her shoulders and pushed her away, gently. He slipped out the door.

Susan looked at Hancock. He thought she might cry. “I feel like I fucked it all up on Christmas Eve,” she said sadly.

“It’s not your fault, sunshine. Can’t help how ya feel. Mac knows it, too.”

“I guess. I just wish it wasn’t so complicated. I’ve never done anything like this. Sometimes I don’t know how to treat him. I feel like he wants something from me that I can’t give him.” Susan sighed. She sat next to him on the bed and he put his arm around her. They sat in silence for a while.

“Well, let’s not let this spoil the whole evening,” Hancock said finally. “I got a surprise for you, sunshine.”

He led her to the balcony, where he’d had Nicky the Triggerman set up a table and two chairs dressed for dinner. There was champagne in a cold bucket and flowers on the table. Hancock thought about how Mac would’ve felt if he’d seen this. 

Maybe he had. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t stay.

Susan exclaimed over the setup. “This is so nice! I love eating outside!”

Hancock took her hand. “Told me the other day you liked to go on a date. This is about the best I can do,” he told her. He released her long enough to poke his head into the State House. “Hey Nicky, can you have the food sent up?”

Hancock helped Susan into a chair, pushing it in behind her, then sat down across from her. She was beaming and although Hancock had been afraid their romantic evening would be ruined by Mac’s abrupt departure, he could tell that Susan was going to try to make the best of the experience. That was the kind of shit he loved about her.

He had paid close attention when she was explaining about dates; mainly because he had been able to tell that she was still uncomfortable about what they had done together in the ruins, but also because he wanted to make her happy. 

Hancock decided, after they were done eating and they were holding hands, talking quietly, that he understood the appeal. Normally other people flocked around them; normally they sat side to side. There was something about looking Susan in the face, about no distractions, that was very satisfying. 

He was just thinking about suggesting they adjourn to the bedroom when the door burst open.

Hancock had a moment of déjà vu as four gunners burst out onto the balcony, all armed and all pointing their weapons at him. At least they weren’t right in the middle of fucking, he had a chance to think, then the men were on them. 

Two grabbed Hancock and two grabbed Susan, pulling them inside the State House. The two on Hancock dragged him to his bedroom, to the corner, pummeling him with their fists and the butts of their guns. He struggled hard enough to break away at one point, but someone hit him from behind with stunning strength. The gunners forced him to his knees and put handcuffs on him. One stood behind him, his hand on Hancock’s neck, his pistol against his skull.

Susan was getting similar treatment, but they had put her on the bed. She was handcuffed as well, struggling with the gunners who held her bound arms as the forced her to her knees. The asshole behind her pushed her legs apart more than he needed to as both men laughed, and Susan cursed them loudly.

“You two made this so easy,” said a deep, incredulous voice. Hancock turned his head from Susan, and when he saw the huge drifter Brick standing there with an assault rifle, he knew who had hit him from behind. 

“What the fuck are you doin’ here? Where’s Panzer?” Hancock grated.

A sound at the door drew his attention. Susan’s power armor clunked as its occupant strode confidently into the room. He surveyed the scene, then exited the armor with a click and a hiss.

Panzer bowed to Hancock, waved to Susan, as if it was all a big game.

“Is that my armor?” Susan asked incredulously.

“Not anymore,” Panzer replied with a laugh. “It’s mine now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you wanted a set of power armor, honey, I would’ve helped you,” Susan said venomously. 

Panzer smiled. “You would have?” he asked.

“Yes,” Susan said emphatically. “I thought we were friends. Remember how I didn’t kill you?”

“Remember how you shot me?” Panzer countered. “That’s why I wanted to take your power armor, Susan. Or should I call you General?” He laughed like he thought the idea of a female general was ridiculous.

“You got what you wanted,” Hancock snarled. “Now get the fuck outta here!”

Panzer shook his head, looking down at him. “Hancock, you’re always barking orders. Is he like that with you, beautiful?” he asked Susan, not looking at her. 

“At least he doesn’t handcuff me and rough me up,” she said evenly.

“No?” Panzer laughed. “I guess he’s not as much fun as I am.” He crouched down to look Hancock in the eye. “What makes you think you know what I want, Hancock?” he said meaningfully. He slowly turned his head to look at Susan.

Hancock realized what he was getting at before Susan did, but as Panzer stood up and turned to face her, she figured it out, too. Her face paled. 

“No,” Hancock growled. “Goddammit, you asshole.” 

“You shot my hand. It still doesn’t work right,” he told her, ignoring Hancock. “That’s why I took your power armor.”

“Panzer...” Susan started, but he cut her off.

“But,” he said menacingly, “You also made me look like a fool. You made my brother look like a fool. It’s not easy to humiliate men like us,” he told her, slowly walking to the bed. Susan’s face was like stone. 

“Fortunately for me,” Panzer continued, “it’s much easier to humiliate a woman.” 

“Panzer, please,” Susan whispered, shaking her head. 

“Look how eager she is, Hancock! Begging for it already. Is she like that with you?”

“Stop it, you piece of shit!” The expression on Susan’s face made Hancock furious. Terror rose in him as Panzer pulled out a knife. With practiced ease he cut Susan’s green dress off, then her underwear, baring her. 

“Don’t forget, you promised me a discount, General,” he told her as he tossed the fabric aside. The gunner holding her snickered. 

Susan bore her disrobing stoically, but her eyes widened as the man stroked her intimately, caressing a breast, pinching a nipple. 

“You’re not really gonna do this, are you?” Susan pleaded breathlessly. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are friends,” Panzer told her. “We’re about to be closer friends.” He put his hand on her cheek. “You’re lucky, you know,” he told her, shaking the knife in one hand tauntingly. The other hand slid from her face and moved to cup her mound. 

“Dammit, you fuck, get your hands off her,” Hancock growled, struggling roughly enough with the gunner holding him that the man hit him in the back of the head with the butt of his gun. He saw stars for a long moment.

When his vision cleared, Panzer was groping Susan, fingers buried in her, the other hand gripping a breast tightly. The knife lay on the bed next to them. “You’re very, very lucky,” he said again.

Susan looked terrified. Her chest heaved as she tried to control her panicked breathing. “I don’t feel very lucky right now, Panzer,” she said through gritted teeth. 

“You are, though,” he told her. “You’re lucky you didn’t shoot my right hand.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t shoot you in the fucking head, you piece of shit,” Susan hissed. 

“You talk big, beautiful, but you really don’t know how lucky you are.” His hand worked roughly between her legs, and Hancock could tell she was trying not to cry now. “You want to know why?”

“I want you to drop dead,” she choked out. 

“That’s not a very nice thing to say, Susan. I thought we were friends. Let her go,” Panzer added to the gunner holding her, his fingers sliding out of her. 

To her credit, Susan did her best to fight back with her brief opportunity, throwing herself backwards and kicking viciously at Panzer. But he caught her foot with infuriating ease, jerking her towards him. He grabbed her other foot and pulled her roughly against him at the edge of the bed, her handcuffed arms trapped underneath her. He pushed her knees apart and forced himself between them. 

Susan’s gasps of pain and fear made Hancock’s pulse thunder in his ears. “Don’t do this,” Hancock grated, hating how helpless his voice sounded. “I’ll give you anything you want. Just don’t fuckin’ hurt her!”

Panzer forced two fingers back inside Susan, his other hand on her throat. “Oh, I’m not planning to hurt her,” he said, staring down at her. She met his hard gaze with her terrified one. “That’s why she’s lucky, Hancock,” he explained. “You see, Brick wanted to go first. And he wouldn’t care if he hurt her.”

Susan’s face crumpled in horror. 

Panzer leaned down. “Don’t you feel lucky now?” Susan just stared at him, blinking back tears. He roughly stroked her clit with his thumb. “Tell me how lucky you are, Susan.”

“No,” she said flatly. 

Panzer thrust another finger into her, and she made a tiny involuntary sound of distress. “Are you sure about that?”

“Fuck you,” she hissed. 

Panzer wrestled her over onto her stomach, laughing, seeming to enjoy her struggles. Hancock started struggling, too, unable to stop himself as he saw her panting and fighting back weakly; he was rewarded for his efforts with another tap on his skull from a gun butt that made the world swim. 

“Oh, how she squirms! Surely you haven’t neglected this part of her education, have you, Hancock?” he heard. 

When his vision cleared, he saw that the man was groping Susan more thoroughly, his thumb penetrating her backside, fingers still buried in her cleft. He held her down with his strong hand on the back of her neck. Susan was crying now, her handcuffed hands flailing, trying to keep her sobs silent but unable to. 

“Do you want to tell me how lucky you are now, General?” Panzer said cruelly. She didn’t respond. “Fine,” he said dismissively, backing away and pulling his fingers out of her with a wet sound. “Brick?”

Brick laughed, a sound like breaking glass. “Hell yeah,” he snarled, taking a step forward.

“No!” Susan said suddenly. “No, please,” she whimpered, and Hancock felt like screaming at the broken sound of her voice. 

“No?” Panzer said in mock surprise. He moved back between her legs, putting his hands on her round cheeks. “Then tell me how lucky you are.”

Susan swallowed, taking several short breaths. “I’m lucky,” she managed, her eyes closing. 

“That’s right,” Panzer said approvingly. “Now tell Hancock. Look at him, say, “I’m so lucky, Hancock.” 

Susan slowly turned her head to look in his direction. Her eyes were glazed. A tear fell from her eyelash. “I’m so lucky, Hancock,” she sobbed. 

Hancock screamed wordlessly. Panzer and Brick’s laughter made a mocking counterpoint to his howl of fury. 

“Now tell him how much you want me, General.” Susan closed her eyes as he pushed his fingers inside her again. “Look, friend, I’m going to get you nice and warmed up for Brick. I’m going to give that ass a workover so when he takes his turn, you don’t need stitches afterwards. So why don’t you tell Hancock how grateful you are?”

Susan didn’t respond. He buried his other hand in her hair, lifting her head. “Look at him!” Her eyes opened and they fixed on Hancock. “Tell him you want me! Tell that rotting ghoul, ‘I want Panzer to fuck me’.” 

“You son of a bitch,” Hancock choked out. 

“Say it,” Panzer said flatly, pressing his thumb into her roughly.

Susan repeated his words in a flat, shaking voice. 

“You see, Hancock? You see how easy it is to humiliate a woman? I could stop right now,” Panzer said, shaking his head as he smiled down at Susan. Then he unbuckled his belt. He leaned far to the side towards Hancock as he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. “Not that I’m going to, of course,” he added tauntingly.

Hancock closed his eyes. They were both dead. These pieces of shit knew they couldn’t rape Susan and then just go on about their lives. They would have to kill her afterwards and Hancock too. He knew he should have the courage to watch since she had to endure it. But he couldn’t meet Susan’s gaze knowing he’d failed to protect her. 

So when he heard the tinkle of glass breaking, a loud pop, and a thump, he didn’t know what had happened. 

Hancock opened his eyes. 

Panzer was on the floor, but most of his brains were on the State House wall. 

“What the fuck?” Brick shouted. He ran over to his brother’s body and knelt. He stood up a second later, his eyes wild, and pointed his assault rifle at Hancock, then Susan. Then he looked at the window, and if he realized what was happening, it was too late. His head exploded like his brother’s and he dropped to the ground. 

Hancock looked at Susan in disbelief. “Mac,” she breathed, her eyes glistening with tears. 

“What the hell is goin’ on here?” the gunner behind him said. His grip on Hancock loosened. 

Hancock found his voice. “You better get the fuck outta here while you can,” he growled. “Our friend out there? He don’t miss.” 

The gunners hesitated, but when one headed for the door, the other three joined him. Hancock just knelt there, panting, tears of relief finally tracking down his face as he looked at Susan. He wished he could help her up but he could barely move. 

A few seconds after he heard the State House door open, he heard three quick pops, blam blam blam. Then a fourth. 

Mac didn’t miss. 

Susan was struggling to stand up or turn over, Hancock wasn’t sure which, when MacCready dashed into the room. He took in the scene quickly. “Help her,” Hancock croaked. 

Mac moved to the bed, pulling Susan up and quickly picking the lock on her handcuffed hands. As soon as she was free, she spun around and clung to the sniper, sobbing. 

Hancock staggered to his feet. He crossed the room to them. Susan was still frantically crying, her arms tightly wrapped around MacCready, who shrugged at Hancock and gestured for him to turn around. Mac picked the lock by feel, his arms around Susan’s nude body. 

When Hancock’s hands were free, he rubbed his wrists and grabbed a blanket to wrap around her. Then he joined the embrace, and the two of them held her until she cried herself out. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get him sooner,” MacCready said finally. “I didn’t have a clear shot till he leaned over.”

“You were in time,” Susan whispered. “You were perfect.”

“You’re a big damn hero,” Hancock added gruffly. 

MacCready’s eyes shone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, basically Panzer and Brick, who had both encountered Susan previously to their detriment, return for revenge. Panzer tortures Susan by touching her non-consensually and threatening to rape her. He makes her speak to Hancock while he’s doing it. MacCready saves the day by sniping the men through a window.


	19. "Not in a Million Years"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan knows she can’t stay in Goodneighbor now. Hancock thinks he knows where to find her. But is she truly out of reach this time?

Her:

Nothing was the same after that.

Susan sat on her bed in her room, playing with Hope. The men had treated her like a fragile ornament after the incident. It was impossible to know how to act towards them. She still wanted to cling to MacCready, and tears filled her eyes every time she saw him, thinking about what he had saved her from. 

And she could barely look at Hancock. Seeing his face while she had said those horrible things made looking at him harder than his ghoulification ever had. 

Tears filled her eyes every time she looked at him, too. 

Hancock had come up to her last night as she sat at the bar in the Third Rail and put his hand on the back of her neck. Susan hadn’t seen him and it startled her, and she almost lost it right there in the Rail, jerking away from him and falling to the floor. And when he had offered her his hand, and she looked up at him and saw his face, she couldn’t make herself touch him. When he tried to lift her, she had shrieked and pushed him away. Finally Mac had come to help her up as she trembled. She’d barely left her room since then.

She had to get away.

 

Him:

Hancock woke up, feeling bleary. He’d had too much to drink last night, and he was pretty sure he’d thrown in some Med-Ex to boot. Susan had spent all day in her room again. He had gone to Kill or Be Killed enough that Kleo had finally threatened him with violence when he came back to see if Susan needed anything for the twelfth time. Why the fuck did I give her an apartment above an assaultron, again? Not your best move, Hancock thought to himself. 

At least he knew she was safe.

He made himself get up, get dressed. He put on his shiny black boots. He stared at the ring on his finger. Everything made him think of Susan. 

When he showed up at Kill or Be Killed, Hancock greeted Kleo as cordially as he could, trying to remember the robot had a contingency plan to kill him. Hancock had found her disabled with the remnants of a pulse grenade laying around her in the shop that night. The assaultron had been fiercely protective of Susan ever since. “Is she taking visitors today?” he growled at the robot. 

“I’m sorry, Mayor Hancock,” Kleo said in her melodious voice. “Susan is gone.” 

“What?” Hancock dashed up the stairs. 

The room was clean. Too clean. Things were missing that were usually there. The soft blanket Daisy had given her. Her favorite book. 

The litter tray. The cat food.

“Shit,” Hancock said in disbelief. He made himself look in the bathroom.

On the floor of the shower was a clump of something yellowish. Hancock stared at it from the door but he didn’t know what it was. He had to get closer. 

In a swirl in the drain was a huge chunk of Susan’s hair.

Hancock searched the apartment frantically. There was no note. There was nothing. He dashed down the stairs. “Did she tell you where she was goin’?” 

Kleo said, “No, Mayor Hancock.” Butter wouldn’t have melted in her mouth. 

Hancock thought he knew where to start, though.

He hurried back to the State House. Mac was sleeping on the third floor on a bedroll, as he had every day since the incident. He shook the sniper awake.

“She’s gone,” he said simply, but MacCready sat up immediately and gave him a look that let Hancock know he wasn’t the only one who had worried about this happening.

Hancock checked his office, but there was no note, nothing. He and Mac went back to her apartment together. “Damn,” the sniper said when he saw the hair in the shower. They both stared at the place where Hope’s food had been. 

“Let’s go to the Castle,” Hancock said finally, not looking at MacCready.

When they arrived later that morning, there were Minutemen bustling around. Hancock grabbed the first one he saw. “Have you seen her?” he growled. The man looked at him in bewilderment.

“You two looking for the General?” Hancock heard a hoarse feminine voice behind him. He turned around.

A tough looking woman contemplated him. “I’m looking for Susan,” Hancock said. “Have you seen her?”

“Yeah,” the woman said. “Name’s Ronnie. The General went up to the Prydwen this morning. Garvey took her to Boston airport and put her on a bird himself.”

Hancock sank to the ground. The Prydwen. He looked up into the sky to the north and stared hatefully at the metal monstrosity far above. Mac crouched next to him.

“What are we going to do?” the sniper asked quietly.

“Nothin’ we can do,” Hancock replied bitterly. “Just wait and see if she comes back.”

 

A few weeks later, Hancock strolled into Goodneighbor, wearing the Minuteman armor that had been custom made for him. He looked around approvingly at the added turrets and traps, the surfeit of Triggermen patrolling. His little town bristled with weaponry and armed fighters. They hadn’t had any problems with raiders or gunners or greenskins. Not a bit. Word had spread throughout the Commonwealth that Goodneighbor wasn’t easy pickings. 

He stopped in at the Memory Den and handed Amari the cryo container he’d had slung on his hip. She just took it wordlessly and handed him a small sealed package which he slipped into his dark coat. Hancock slid her a sack of caps, too, and raised his brow, but she must’ve learned the futility of arguing with him over it, because she just shook her head and took the bag. 

Hancock headed up the stairs inside the Old State House. He really wanted to go down to the Rail and have too much to drink, but he had another errand he had to take care of before he could do that. It was still early, anyway. Way too damn early to chug a bottle of whiskey like he wanted to. He did stop in his office and hit the Jet a couple times.

He crossed the landing and found MacCready still asleep in his bed. It felt kind of awkward having him there, and they didn’t fuck around, but neither one of them wanted to be alone. They just got wasted and talked about anything but her. 

Hancock shook him awake. “Goin’ to the Castle,” he told the sniper. “You comin’?” 

“Yeah, whatever,” Mac grumbled, not moving.

“I’m leavin’ in five,” Hancock said warningly. The sniper groaned but pulled himself out of the bed. 

Hancock went back to his office. He gathered up a couple of other items he wanted to take with him, and he slipped everything into a small pack. When MacCready stumbled out, sleepily checking his rifle, caressing the scope she had given him, they headed down the stairs without a word.

At Kill or Be Killed, he greeted Kleo quietly, and her response was equally terse and muted. “Got anything for me?” he asked her. Kleo slid him some shotgun shells and a fusion core. 

“Keep some of those shells for yourself this time, Mayor Hancock,” Kleo droned. 

“Maybe,” Hancock said, giving her a wink. He put the items in his pack. Kleo passed MacCready some .308s, and he thanked her with a yawn. They headed over to Daisy’s Discounts.

“You two again?” Daisy said when she saw them.

“Now how could I stay away from someone as cute as you, Daisy?” MacCready said. 

“You're a lousy liar, but I'll just play stupid and pretend I don't know that,” Daisy replied drily. She was a ghoul like Hancock, only she had been alive for centuries. 

“Hey hon,” Hancock said to her. “You got a parcel for the General?’

“As usual,” Daisy said. She pulled out an envelope from under the desk and handed it to him. “Don’t you be reading that,” she warned him.

“Not in a million years,” Hancock assured her, but his fingers touched it lingeringly before he slid it into his breast pocket. Fuck, it sure was tempting sometimes. But she would know. It was none of his business anyway. “That it?” 

“That’s it. She told me not to send any more food. She said she had everything she needed up there. Except what you’re taking her, of course,” Daisy added.

“Right,” Hancock said gruffly. He turned and headed out the front gate.

They ran into a pack of greenskins on the bridge just north of Andrew Station, and Hancock was grateful for the distraction. He and Mac tore them apart, the sniper crippling every single one before they could get too close, the mayor using his shotgun like a bludgeon half the time, taking out his rage on the mutants. 

At the Castle, the Minutemen barely registered his presence. They were used to seeing him. Hancock found Ronnie and gave her the pack, growling roughly to her to take care of it and make sure the General got it. 

“Have you seen her?” MacCready asked Ronnie, and the woman gave him a sad smile. 

“You just missed her, actually,” she told them, and Hancock’s heart skipped a beat at the thought that she had just been here. What if he had come sooner? What if he hadn’t felt the need to go out into the ruins at the ass crack of dawn and take out his frustration on some raiders? Would he have seen her? Hell, would he have even wanted to?

“She was out all night doing something with Paladin Danse again,” Ronnie added, and Hancock looked at her sharply. He couldn’t read her expression. He felt like she was trying to tell him something, not unkindly. He wanted to ask her questions, but he couldn’t seem to find his voice.

He went in to where the litter box and cat food was instead, calling out, “Hey kitty kitty, hey pretty pretty,” and Hope came running to see him. She purred as Hancock stroked her, butting her tricolored head into his hand and giving him slow blinks. He couldn’t help but laugh as he tickled her whiskers. Hancock pulled a piece of string from his pocket and waved it around at her, but she didn’t want to play. Someone had obviously already played with her. 

Someone.

Hancock sat on the floor and just pet the cat until she got bored with him and ran off. He got up with a sigh and went to find Mac. The sniper was standing on top of the broken edge of the Castle, looking through his scope at the Prydwen. When Hancock tapped him on the shoulder, he wiped his face on his sleeve before he turned around. 

They headed back to Goodneighbor. 

Hancock changed out of his armor back into his red coat and headed down into the Third Rail. Mac was already sitting on the couch, his hat over his eyes, a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. He didn’t look up or speak when Hancock sat down.

Hancock pulled his own hat down so his eyes were shadowed. He didn’t know why the fuck he felt the need to go to the Castle. He could send a runner instead. She wasn’t there. Would make more sense to go to Boston Airport if he wanted to try to see her. He wasn’t sure he even did.

There was just something about seeing Hope, the cat he had gotten for her, and knowing that she had been there too, playing with her, petting her. 

He heard the door creak open and peeked up from under his hat.

Trish and Jackie came in, giggling when they saw him and Mac sitting on the couch, each with a cigarette and a drink, their hats pulled down. The girls had been in the last few nights, and they’d all talked and drank together.

“You two are a sight for sore eyes,” Trish said in a sultry voice. “Aren’t they, Jackie?”

“Oh yeah,” Jackie giggled. 

“Hey ladies,” said Hancock. 

“Hey beautiful, hey gorgeous,” MacCready said. 

“Which is which?” Trish asked with a flirtatious wink.

Mac looked at Jackie. “I’m not picky,” he said. 

Hancock stifled a laugh. Not the kind of shit a woman really wanted to hear, he thought. He looked up at Trish as she stepped close to him. He moved his legs apart so she could stand right in front of him. She put her hand on his shoulder. “Both of you over here with these sad mugs,” she said in a mock scolding tone. “Thought Jackie and I might be able to put some smiles on those faces.”

“Oh yeah?” Hancock said. 

“Yeah,” Trish said, and she put her other hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes. Shit, it felt nice to be touched.

“Sounds good to me,” Mac said next to him. He drained the dregs of his beer.

“Why don’t you two grab a drink?” Hancock suggested. “Mind gettin’ us a couple beers? Then we’ll discuss your generous proposal.” He gave them a lascivious wink.

Trish grinned at him. She turned to get the drinks, Jackie following her.

Hancock looked at Mac. He didn’t look back. “You sure about this?”

“Yeah,” Mac said. “She’s not coming back. She was never mine anyway. Certainly not utterly.” 

Hancock sighed. He didn’t know when Mac had seen the note, but it hadn’t done much for the man’s mood. He looked at his left hand. Slowly, he slid the ring off his finger and put it into his pocket. Hell, she had taken Hope. Mac was right. She was never coming back. 

When the girls returned, shutting the door, he let Trish sit on his lap. She didn’t like to kiss, but she liked it when he tickled her, so he did that for a while as she squirmed and giggled. 

He didn’t object when she slid down him and put her face in his lap. He saw Mac was getting the same treatment from Jackie next to him. Hancock took a long drink of beer, closed his eyes, and tried not to think about anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #sadblowjob


	20. "Just In Case"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan’s life on the Prydwen is far different from her life in Goodneighbor. Danse is helping her learn to get even better and stronger than she was before. But she still has a connection to Hancock; a gruesome shared secret.

Susan stood on the Prydwen foredeck, looking west out towards the city. She took a drag off the cigarette she held hidden in her palm. She had gone to the Institute a few days ago to talk to Doctor Madison Li, and somewhat to her surprise, she had been able to convince the doctor to return to the Brotherhood. When she had returned, she found out that the Brotherhood wanted Dr. Li to work on Liberty Prime, some kind of huge robot. And Maxson had convinced Susan to talk Dr. Li into working on it, despite her initial objections. And she had.

“How did you do it?” Maxson had asked her later, pinning Susan with his sharp gaze.

“I just told her the same thing I told you when I came here,” Susan said stiffly. “And I asked her if she was happy down there, with all the secrets, the way the Institute hoards the technology that could make people’s lives better. And I made it seem like Liberty Prime would only be used as leverage against them.”

Maxson had just nodded. “Well done, Knight,” he’d told her.

I thought I was good at manipulating people, Susan thought to herself. But sometimes she felt like an amateur compared to Elder Maxson. She couldn’t stop thinking about how he had referred to Dr. Li as the 'Golden Goose.' She shivered as a breeze picked up her short blond hair and whipped it around. 

“I don’t know how you can stand being out here without power armor,” came a crisp masculine voice from behind her. Susan let the cigarette slip from her grasp and watched it get caught by the wind, blowing towards the city, tumbling out of sight. 

“I don’t know how you can stand wearing that clunking heap all the time,” she replied without turning. 

Danse stepped up next to her and put his hands on the rail. Even in his power armor, he looked somewhat nervous being this high up. “Wearing power armor in dangerous situations isn’t a matter of personal preference. It’s a matter of safety,” he informed her. 

Susan rolled her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, the Prydwen’s so dangerous,” she said sarcastically. Another gust of wind hit the ship and it shuddered. Danse gripped the rail but Susan just let go and turned to him. 

He sniffed the air. “Were you smoking?” he asked disapprovingly. Susan shrugged. Danse sighed and she waited for the lecture, but he must’ve learned the futility of it. “You want to work out? I’ll spot you,” he said instead.

“I already did,” Susan lied.

“Did you do upper or lower body? You focus on your legs too much. Let’s do chin-ups on the main deck off the ground. I’ll lift you up.” Danse liked wrapping his arms around her and holding her at the rail a little bit too much, she thought.

Susan wished she still had her cigarette as she regarded him. It was hard to feel too frustrated. He was doing it to help her. She was stronger than she could ever remember being. She never wanted to be in a situation again where she didn’t know what to do without a gun, and Danse was a big part of that.

It’s just that he was so... Straight.

“I don’t really feel like it,” Susan told him.

“Want to spar? I found some security batons. I thought they might suit you better than the baseball bat. It slows you down and agility is your strength.”

Susan took a deep breath, about to tell him she just wanted to be left alone, but then she decided sparring was a good idea. At least she got the chance to blow off some steam. 

“Only if we do it on the flight deck,” Susan said teasingly.

“Only if we do it in power armor,” Danse replied, raising his eyebrow at her.

“You’re no fun. I don’t wanna put on my armor.”

“Well, Susan, I think we both know if you’re going to insist on going around without your armor on you need to be able to defend yourself,” he told her. 

Susan flushed. “I know, Danse,” she said flatly. “Fine. Let’s go.”

They went to the bottom of the main deck, underneath all of the bunks, to a semi-private area that was only used for storage. They had cleared it out and they usually used it for their sparring sessions. Danse got out of his armor and grabbed the two batons, giving a short lecture on how to use them effectively. 

Susan paid attention with part of her brain while the rest of her thought about whether not she had made the right decision with Dr. Li. She lost herself in the match, finding the paladin had been right about the speed of the baton. She picked it up more quickly than she had the bat and was able to score several hits on Danse after she was warmed up.

“Good! It suits you!” he said after a while. “Now try with your right hand. You need to be able to use both.”

Susan groaned, but she knew he was right, so she switched hands. She was slower, clumsy; Danse was using his left hand but he was still far better than her. When he got several hits in a row on her, she backed away, her hand out. She gritted her teeth. He had hit her pretty hard.

“I’m gonna have bruises,” she said irritably. 

“Better bruises than dying,” Danse said. 

Susan closed her eyes. His phrasing reminded her of that day in the Glowing Sea when Hancock had told her better fleas than continuing on without rest. “I think I’m done for today.”

“Fine,” Danse said, taking the security baton from her hand and storing both of them carefully. “You want to work on your power armor for a while?”

Sudan sighed. “Why do you always want to work on something? Don’t you ever just do anything for fun?”

He looked at her in surprise. “Working on my power armor is fun,” he told her. “Come on, I’ll help you try to figure out that jet attachment.” He paused. “You know, if you keep doing what Elder Maxson asks you to do, I think he’ll give you one at one point.”

Susan frowned. “Maybe I want to figure it out for myself,” she said lightly. Dance just shrugged. 

“Let’s do it then,” he said enthusiastically.

She just stared at him for a moment. He put his hand awkwardly on her shoulder. “Are you all right?” he asked, sounding like he hoped she would just say, Yep I’m great!

“Yeah,” Susan said. She was thinking about all the time they had spent together, about going to the hospital with him yesterday to get the magnet. He always seemed a little surprised by the way she did things. When she had easily picked the extremely difficult lock on a door that let them skip going through most of the hospital, his eyebrows had climbed until they were almost a part of his hair. 

“Well, that's a skill they don't teach in boot camp,” was all Danse had said. But he had looked at her like they weren’t even the same species.

Susan thought about the night Hancock had interrupted her assault in Goodneighbor, how confidently and carefully he put his arm around her. She’d spent hours, days, with Danse, sparring, working out, touching each other sometimes quite intimately during these activities, and yet when it was just the two of them together he was awkward and hesitant. They hadn’t even kissed, much less anything else. Not that there was any real privacy to be found on the Prydwen. Everyone slept in bunks out in the open.

“I’d really like to go to the Castle and see Hope,” she said. Her cat was the one creature in this world she could love unconditionally.

“All right, Susan,” he said, but like he thought it was a waste of time and resources. “I’ll meet you on the flight deck in five. In power armor,” he added. 

“Give me fifteen,” Susan said. “I wanna get washed up.”

Danse looked at her like he thought that was a waste of water, too, but Susan didn’t care. She could do whatever she wanted with her meager water allowance. And she could always get more from the Castle if she wanted to. 

As she dipped a rag into a small container and gave herself a sketchy kind of wash, she thought about the shower Hancock had put in her apartment. Fuck, she missed that. 

At the Castle, Susan got out of her armor and went to find Hope. The cat came running, meowing loudly at the sound of Susan’s voice. She pet the sweet animal and crooned in her ear. They played with a piece of string. 

She left Hope snoozing, curled up in a contented ball. She found Danse talking to Ronnie in the courtyard. 

“Afternoon, General,” the woman greeted her formally. She handed Susan a small dark pack. “Special delivery from Goodneighbor.”

Susan stared at the parcel. From Goodneighbor. From Hancock. She knew he was the one who had brought it. Ronnie had told her he came every few days, asking about her, playing with Hope. She knew he was the one who had to be going out into the ruins to collect what she needed. She had hated to ask anyone for help but the Brotherhood hadn’t been able to synthesize the hormone she needed either, so she had written Daisy asking her to talk to Amari for Susan.

But it had to be Hancock doing the dirty work.

Both Danse and Ronnie watched her like they were waiting for her to open the bag. Susan flushed. There was clearly more in the parcel than just her medication, and she didn’t want anyone else to see what might be in there. She tucked it under her arm like it didn’t matter. “Anything else?” she asked briskly.

“All’s quiet, General,” Ronnie said. The woman’s sharp eyes pierced her. 

“Let’s go, Danse,” Susan said. 

Back on the Prydwen, she excused herself and slipped out with the package to the flight deck. She went to the far end, up a short flight of stairs to a small unused control room. It was the closest thing she had to privacy on the ship.

Susan just held the package for a few minutes, caressing it, thinking about how Hancock had held it too, his ravaged fingers on it like hers were now. She could feel ammo in the bottom, but other items, too. Finally she opened it. On top was a letter from Daisy which she set aside. She pulled out the small sealed package with her thyroid medication. Underneath that was a book, and she drew it out to see what the title was. It was one she had told Hancock she had always wanted to read, a classic. She shook her head, wondering where he had found it.

Underneath that was what looked like a Jet cartridge wrapped in paper. She pulled it out, chuckling. Then her heart skipped a beat when she realized the paper was actually a note wrapped around the cart. She slipped it off with trembling fingers. 

“Is that Jet?” came a disapproving voice from the door, and Susan jumped, dropping the cartridge. She slid the note into her sleeve. 

“Apparently,” Susan said drily, looking up at Danse. Didn’t he ever fuck off? Couldn’t he leave her alone for just a few minutes? 

“I can’t believe he sent that,” Danse said, frowning at the chem on the floor. He swept it up and dropped it into a compartment on his power armor. Susan didn’t object although she hated the way he thought he could just take something that was hers because he didn’t agree with it. 

“What, haven’t you ever taken Jet and jumped off the Prydwen?” Susan asked him, her voice mocking. 

His eyebrows went up. “No, of course not,” he said. He paused. “Have you?”

She smiled. “Oh yeah,” she said. 

“I don’t really see the point. I don’t use chems and if you jumped off you would just have to walk to your destination. Makes more sense to take a bird.”

“Yeah, well,” Susan said defensively, “not everything has to make sense.” She wished he would leave so she could read the note. But he didn’t. Danse got out of his power armor instead, to her surprise. He sat next to her. 

“Well, you left that kind of life behind. You don’t need all those chems. You don’t need someone like that in your circle of influence.” He put his arm around her shoulders awkwardly. 

“Yeah,” she said. “I guess you’re right.” She saw he was looking at her and she slowly turned her head towards him.

Danse came in hesitantly for a kiss, and Susan didn’t pull away, although she didn’t move to meet his lips either. But she closed her eyes when he pressed his against hers, lightly. 

Susan waited to feel something, to feel her heart pounding, a quickening, anything. He didn’t move away and she kissed him now, opening her mouth, using her tongue. His mouth was warm and soft. It felt good to be touched, to have gentle lips on hers. 

Then he slid his hand to the back of her neck. 

Susan’s eyes flew open and she jerked away. “Don’t,” she said. “Don’t... touch my neck.”

“I’m so sorry,” Danse said. He sounded like he was apologizing for everything, including kissing her. 

“It’s okay,” she said, taking a deep breath, remembering that night in Goodneighbor when Hancock put his hand on her neck and she’d had a panic attack. That was the same night she’d cut off her hair. She’d hated the way it felt like a handle. Like something that could be used against her. 

Dance got up after a few minutes and got back into his power armor. “I’ll see you at dinner, Susan,” he said gently. She just nodded, not looking at him. 

When he was gone she slipped the note out of her sleeve and read it. She laughed, shaking her head. “Hancock,” she said, caressing the paper.

She opened Daisy’s letter and read through it quickly. The smile slid off her face. She pulled out Hancock’s note again and stared at the untidy scrawl.

‘Just in case you ever wanna jump off that thing’, was all it said.


	21. "That Ain't a Question"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock gets a surprise visitor on his balcony. But what does she really want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was born out of my frustration at not being able to have a meaningful conversation with Hancock in the game. After I realized what was happening with the Brotherhood, I desperately wanted to ask him how he felt about things. But of course the AI isn't good enough for that. Anyway, enjoy!

Hancock walked slowly up the stairs at the Old State House. He’d asked Nicky to set up a table and chairs on the balcony like he had that night for Susan, and dress it for dining, without the flowers and the champagne. It wasn’t fair to Trish to just keep asking for head in the VIP room. She wasn’t a hooker, she was a drifter, a woman who cared about him in her limited way. And they’d had a sketchy kind of relationship for a long time. Susan had left in the night without even leaving a note. She had taken Hope, for fuck’s sake. She wasn’t coming back. He needed to accept that she was out of his life. 

He’d always known something that good couldn’t last forever.

“Everything’s all set up, boss,” Nicky told him, and he clapped the guard on the shoulder. 

Hancock stepped out onto the balcony, leaving the door open just slightly. He wouldn’t be long; he just wanted to double check everything was ready. He lit a cigarette and looked out at the night, thinking about the morning he’d woken up and Susan had left for the Institute. She had left him a note that night. He pulled it out of his pocket and unfolded it. It was worn and creased from its time in his pants. He read it again even though he had it memorized.

I will return, it said. Yours Utterly, it said.

Behind him, he heard the door whisper shut. He slipped the note back into his pocket. He heard a tiny click as he slid out his .45.

Hancock spun around, swinging the gun in a wide circle. There was a figure standing in the shadows at the door, and he trained the barrel on it. The intruder was dressed all in black. 

“So it’s true,” came a feminine voice he almost recognized. 

“Come out into the light,” Hancock growled, gesturing with the .45.

The intruder took a few slow steps, spreading her arms, palms out, in the universal gesture for ‘I’m unarmed’. The shadow of the State House fell off her face. Green eyes glared at him from the slit of a black hood. 

“Susan?” Hancock said incredulously.

She reached up and grabbed the hood, slowly pulling it off her head. 

Hancock gaped at her. She looked different, somehow. Harder. Her blond hair was above her shoulders, and the expression on her face was one he’d never seen before. She looked down at the dressed table and chairs, then to his left hand, bereft of ring. She looked at the gun.

He let his hand fall. “This ain’t what it looks like,” he said, somewhat lamely, gesturing at the table with the .45. 

Her eyebrow went up. “Well, it can’t be my surprise,” she said drily. “You didn’t even know I was coming.” Susan’s tone held a volume of meaning.

“Listen, doll, I don’t know if you noticed or not, but security around here’s a helluva lot tighter than it was last time you were in town,” Hancock said defensively.

Susan spread her arms as if her very existence was proof he was wrong. “And yet here I am!” she pronounced. “Don’t call me doll,” she added. Her gaze hardened. “I’m nobody’s toy.”

“All right, Susan,” he said. Hancock’s mind was racing. “How the hell did you get up here, though?”

She just cocked her head and looked at him like he was a fucking idiot. Hancock was torn between wanting to give her a hug and wanting to slap that smug look off her face. She looked at the table again, her lips pursed. Hancock frowned. Had she come back just to shame him?

“Where’s that Brotherhood fella of yours? From what I heard he never lets you outta his sight these days,” Hancock said sharply.

“Oh, he’s around,” Susan replied lightly. 

“Where?” Hancock growled. He wanted to know if he needed to worry about a bullet in the back of his head.

Her voice was flat. “He’s at the sign."

Hancock’s felt a queer sensation come over him, like his stomach did a somersault. An unpleasant emotion he’d never felt before surged through him. “You took him to ‘Life’s a Race?’” he asked, and he could hear the disbelief and pain in his voice.

“Yeah,” Susan replied, defiant. 

“Why?” Hancock asked her, trying to convey everything he was feeling with the question. That was their fucking spot! 

She intentionally chose to ignore his deeper question. “Because he can’t see the State House balcony from there,” she told him.

“What, didn’t want your new lover to see you chattin’ with the old one?” Hancock said bitterly. 

“I didn’t want him to shoot you before we had a chance to talk,” Susan replied matter-of-factly.

“That why you came back? To talk? You got a business proposition for me?” Hancock swallowed, but the sour taste in his mouth wouldn’t go away. She didn’t respond and he could tell his words had cut.

He pulled out the chair in front of him and sat down, putting his .45 away. He gestured at Susan and then at the other chair. She just looked at him, looked at the chair. “Why would he wanna shoot me, anyway? What kinda shit have you told him about me?”

“Almost nothing. The same thing I tell everyone,” she added. “I told him Goodneighbor wasn’t safe. Danse made it seem like he thought it was a reflection on you.” She paused. “He blames you for what happened to me.”

“You told him?”

“Just bare bones,” Susan said.

Hancock swallowed, trying not to think about that night. The look of horror on her face. The way she’d been forced to look at him, speak to him, while terrible things were happening to her. “Suppose you blame me, too?” Susan didn’t say anything. She just stared at him. “That why you left? You didn’t feel safe?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I didn’t feel safe. On the Prydwen, I’m safe. I never leave it without my power armor, without someone at my back.”

“I’m surprised Danse let you wander off tonight,” he said tightly. 

“Nobody tells me what to do,” Susan said, narrowing her eyes.

“Your new boyfriend make ya feel safe?” Hancock heard himself say. 

“The Prydwen is the safest place in the Commonwealth,” she snapped. “I guess what I do with Danse when we’re there together is none of your business, any more than what you do with Trish on this balcony is mine.”

They stared at each other in silence for a moment. Hancock half expected her to just leave. Hell, he almost wanted her to. He was tired of looking up at her, at the look of distrust on her face. 

“Be nice if ya sat down,” Hancock said with a sigh. Susan seemed like a stranger, so cold and angry. 

“I can’t stay long. Danse is waiting for me. And it looks like you have plans, too,” she added, looking at the table pointedly. 

“Why’d you come back, then? Thought you wanted to talk? Just sit for a minute,” Hancock urged her. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk more but he wasn’t quite ready for her to leave, either. “Did you get the last pack I sent? Had what you asked for from Amari in it.” He didn’t tell her he was the one going out into the ruins to get what she needed. She had to know.

Susan nodded. She finally pulled out the chair and sat. She put the hood on the table and took off her black gloves. She wasn’t wearing her ring, either. “Yes. Thank you for that. And Daisy’s letter. I get regular reports on Goodneighbor,” she informed him. “From a few sources. The last one said you had been entertaining Trish routinely in the VIP room. I guess I wanted to see for myself. But this…” 

She indicated the table and chairs, shaking her head, and he knew she must be thinking about the night Hancock had done this for her, taken her on a date. How romantic it had all been.

How horribly it had all ended.

“That’s why you came here, then?” Hancock rasped. “Why you snuck through all my layers of security, past all the Neighborhood Watch, and surprised me on the fuckin’ balcony?” He could hardly believe what he was hearing. “Checkin’ up on my sex life?” he added, shaking his head. “You don’t want me, but you don’t want anybody else to have me, is that it, girly?”

“Want me,” Susan spat, “have me. Let’s skip the euphemisms, Hancock. You mean ‘fuck’, don’t you? ‘You don’t wanna fuck me, but you don’t want anyone else to fuck me,’ isn’t that what you really mean?” Her face was contorted with disgust and for the first time since he’d met her, Hancock thought she didn’t look pretty in the moonlight. 

“That ain’t all of it,” he said, shaking his head. “Helluva lot more to it than that, sunshine,” he added.

Susan’s face softened as he used his pet name for her. Hancock half expected her to tell him not to use that, too, but she didn’t. “But that’s part of it, isn’t it? That’s something you want from me. That’s what I can’t give you. I don’t know if I would ever be able to again. Not after that night.”

“Sunshine, I know he hurt you. An’ I know I can’t understand how it made you feel. But I believe just because somethin’ bad happens to you, don’t mean nothin’ good can ever happen again. You feel me?” 

Susan stared out into the night. She didn’t answer his question. Instead, she asked him one. “Why aren’t you wearing your ring?”

Hancock pressed his thumb where the gold band should be. “Why aren’t you wearin’ yours?”

She glibly said, “It’s my trigger hand,” as an explanation.

Hancock decided not to press her. He looked down at his naked finger. “It was too much of a reminder of you, sunshine. I wore it a while after you left, but when you never sent a message or nothin’, figured you weren’t comin’ back. Hell, you took Hope,” he said with a shrug. “Was just lookin’ at it one day and felt like it was time.”

“It’s only been a few weeks,” Susan said in a small voice.

“You took Hope,” Hancock said again, harshly, staring at his finger, and he wondered if she understood he meant more than just the cat. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. He was feeling bruised by their wrenching exchanges. “I saw her at the Castle,” he added. He had gone back there half a dozen times, ostensibly to see Hope, actually hoping to get news of Susan’s whereabouts. “Guess you can’t have cats on the Prydwen?”

“She wasn’t happy there,” Susan told him. “She needs fresh air. She needs freedom.” Hancock looked her in the eyes finally, and he wondered if they were still talking about the cat. “Got a smoke?” she asked. Silently he handed her one, and the lighter, instead of lighting one for her as he used to do. She took a few drags and shivered as the nicotine hit her.

“Guess you can’t smoke in that tin can?” Hancock said as he took one for himself and lit it. 

“Nope,” she said, leaning back, relaxing slightly, and he felt some tension drain out of him, too. “No drinking or chems, either. They don’t know how to have any fun,” she added. 

“Don’t know how you stand it,” Hancock said with a chuckle. That was the Susan he knew. “Want me to grab some whiskey for ya? Maybe some Jet?”

“I think Danse would notice if I came back all fucked up,” she said, but she had a small smile. “Besides, I really can’t stay. He’s probably already fretting. And don’t you have a date? I just wanted to ask you a question. That’s why I really came.”

“More questions?” Hancock said, his voice rough. “You may be teetotalin’, but if we’re gonna cut each other up some more, I need a drink first, sunshine.”

“It’s not like that,” Susan said, shaking her head. “Whiskey sounds nice, actually.”

Hancock stood and went inside the State House to grab a bottle of bourbon. “Keep Trish busy for me when she gets here, will ya?” he said into Nicky’s ear, and the guard looked surprised but nodded.

Hancock returned to the balcony, half expecting Susan to be gone. But she was there, looking out at Goodneighbor. She startled when he opened the door, and he cursed himself for not opening it more carefully after the shit that had happened to her last time she was here.

He handed her the bottle and she took a long swig. She gestured for another cigarette and he put the pack on the table. She lit one and took a second drink, then a deep breath.

“The other reason I came here is because I’ve been presented with a… situation. And I wanted to ask your opinion on it,” Susan informed him.

“That’s a heap of praise comin’ from you, sunshine. Why me?”

“You’re one of the smartest, most perceptive people I’ve ever met,” she said. “I thought you might be able to help me make a decision. You’re good at making decisions. Although pretty much anyone in the world is better at making decisions than me, I guess,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh. 

“You clearly haven’t watched a lot of folks try and make decisions,” Hancock told her. 

Susan snorted. “Well, this is a big one,” she said. She looked up out at the sky. She sounded more like herself than she had the whole conversation. Hancock grabbed the whiskey bottle to hide his reaction to suddenly feeling like she was there with him again. He took a generous drink. She’d be gone soon enough. 

“I have a question for you.” There was a long silence. “The Brotherhood wants me to blow up the Institute,” Susan said finally.

Hancock’s brow went up. “That ain’t a question.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t play stupid with me, it’s unattractive,” she shot back. 

“All right, sunshine, dial it down.” Hancock pondered what she’d told him for a moment, knowing she didn’t want some off-the-cuff answer. She wanted his true thoughts. She was studying him almost like she had the first night she’d kissed him. “They tell you that?”

“No,” Susan said, shaking her head. “I know it though. I know already. I think I’ve always known. It won’t be long.” There was a long silence.

“Don’t feel like I know enough about the ins-and-outs to really say,” Hancock said finally. “The Institute could use a lesson in consequences, no question. But in general, I don’t think killin’ a bunch of people who think they’re tryna make the world a better place is the best way to approach things. Be a big wasted opportunity, maybe.”

Susan’s mouth fell open. “You’re the one that told me you thought it would be better if the whole world could get into the Institute!”

“Yeah, I meant people though, I guess, not necessarily bombs, ya dig? Besides, that was before you went in there.” Hancock shrugged. “Dunno, sunshine. Do you wanna do it? Your son’s in there, ain’t he?”

“Yeah,” she said distantly. “My ‘son’ is in there. I’d have to kill him, too. But the Institute is experimenting with dangerous technologies that could prove to be the world's undoing for the second time in recent history. They need to be stopped.”

“That don’t even sound like you. Those ain’t your words,” Hancock told her roughly. “The Brotherhood feels that way. Don’t necessarily make it true.”

Susan regarded him with a troubled gaze. Suddenly they both heard a feminine voice through the door. “Hancock!” Trish was calling up the stairs. 

“Hey Trish, hold up,” they heard Nicky say to her. 

“Why?”

“Hancock just needs a few minutes…”

Their voices faded away as Nicky escorted Trish back down the stairs. 

Hancock and Susan stared at each other. Susan looked down first. “Thank you for telling me what you thought. I appreciate it. I should go,” she told the table. Then she stood up, gathering up her hood and gloves, and put her hand on her stealth boy. 

“Wait,” Hancock said, surging to his feet, suddenly desperate for her not to leave, to let her know this meant more to him than just the General of the Minutemen arranging a clandestine meeting with the Mayor of Goodneighbor to ask his opinion on military strategy. 

He put his hand on her shoulder, and she turned to look at him. With his other hand, Hancock slid a finger into the collar of his ruffled shirt. He pulled out the long chain he wore around his neck. 

On it hung a gold ring.

Susan laughed in disbelief as she looked at it. Her hand slipped away from the stealth boy. It went to the collar of her black shirt. She pulled out a chain, too, and showed him the gold ring dangling from it. They gazed at each other.

Slowly, Hancock put his other hand on her other shoulder. He leaned in, tilting his head, hoping she wouldn’t pull away. 

She didn’t. Susan let him press his lips to hers. She closed her eyes for the briefest moment. Then she stepped back and disappeared.


	22. "Wasn't Your Fault"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse tries to talk to Susan about her assault. She gets her own surprise visitor at the Castle. But it’s not just a chat between the General and the Mayor this time.

When Susan found Danse at the sign, he scrutinized her. “Did you see him?” he asked.

“Yes,” Susan said.

“Did you get your.... answers?” Danse said distastefully.

Susan shrugged. “I’m not sure,” she said, and if any three words had ever described her life better, she couldn’t think of them.

They signaled for a vertibird at the river and returned to the Prydwen.

Susan spent the next few days sparring with Danse, learning how to use melee weapons even better, focusing on her right hand. They switched it up sometimes so he had a baseball bat while she used the baton. He hit her a lot at first, and finally he had to spend some time just teaching her how to dodge the bat without trying to counterattack, the baton closed in her fist. 

It was frustrating to start, but she found she loved the feel of being able to evade the slow-moving bat and she practiced it until she felt confident in her abilities. Danse taught her how to roll, but it felt unnatural to lose her footing; she struggled with the concept. The paladin hit her hard with the bat when she forgot to do it. Danse even tied one hand behind her back, at her request, letting her figure out how to dodge and roll with one arm disabled.

When Susan got through an entire session without him hitting her once, she gave him a rare, genuine smile as she sat.

“Excellent,” Danse said. Susan hoped he might sit next to her and put his arm around her, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “This seems like a perfect opportunity. I’ve been wanting to talk you through… That night.”

Susan didn’t know quite how to respond. “Oh yeah?” she said, but her voice was cold.

“Yes,” Danse said briskly. “So, from what I understand, you were surprised on a balcony sitting at a table.”

“Yes, that’s right,” Susan said. Her mind was in a whirl. Did she really want to talk about this with him?

“Were you armed?”

Susan felt a flush come to her face thinking about how she had stripped herself of weapons in the bathroom before she had gone in to see Hancock and MacCready that evening. “No,” she said flatly.

“Well, that was your first mistake,” Danse said.

“No shit,” she said, her fingers curling up. She never went anywhere without a weapon now.

“Did you have anything else at your disposal?” the paladin asked.

Susan tried to make herself think. “A butter knife, I guess,” she said finally.

Danse nodded his head. “What about the chair you were sitting on?”

She thought about that. “I guess I wouldn’t have known what to do with it,” she said.

“Well, that’s what this is about,” Danse told her. “What would you do now?”

Susan pondered, trying not to feel angry at Danse for his questions. “I guess I could’ve thrown the chair at them, ducked behind the table.”

“Good,” he said. “Think outside the box.”

“But they were armed,” Susan protested. “They could’ve shot me whenever they wanted to.”

“Did they want to, though? Did they shoot?”

Susan closed her eyes as she thought about that evening. “No,” she whispered. “They didn’t want to shoot me.”

“That’s right. If someone wants to kill you and they have you in that position, they’ll do it. If they wanted you dead, they would’ve shot you immediately. But they didn’t. That puts you in a situation where you can do more than you can do when you know someone wants to kill you.”

Susan swallowed. “Are you trying to tell me you think I should’ve done more?”

“I’m just saying, I think things could’ve gone down differently,” he informed her. “What happened next?”

“They... They handcuffed me, my hands were behind my back,” she managed.

“Okay. Let’s talk about some ways you can try to keep someone from getting cuffs on you.”

Susan looked at the floor. “I don’t think I wanna talk about this anymore,” she said. Danse just looked at her. “I wanna go to the Castle and see Hope.”

“Fine,” he said dismissively. But she could tell he was disappointed. 

When they arrived at the Castle, Susan gave Hope her normal loving. The cat purred loudly as she ran her nails across the white cheeks, crooning nonsense. She was sitting on her bed scratching soft ears when she suddenly noticed the cat was acting oddly. Like someone else was in the room. Susan let her gaze slide to the side, acting like she hadn’t noticed anything. With natural, easy movements, she slipped her .38 special out.

“Turn it off,” she said roughly, quickly pointing the gun at whoever was sitting in the corner of her room with a stealth field concealing them. Hope ran away, meowing. 

Susan heard a quiet click. Hancock appeared, sitting cross-legged with his elbows on his knees. He was wearing his tricorn hat and the armor she’d given him. He held a stealth boy in his ravaged hands. 

“How long have you been here?” she demanded, aghast. She’d been sitting there petting Hope for at least five minutes! She let the gun fall to the bed. He didn’t respond and she looked away, blushing, realizing he must’ve been there the whole time, just watching her. “What are you doing here?” she asked him incredulously. 

“Hey sunshine,” Hancock said, his voice gravelly. Susan met his gaze. It didn’t seem as hard to do as it had before. He showed her the stealth boy. “Took a trick outta your book.”

“Hey you,” she said, sadly.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment.

Hancock looked down. “Wish I could say I was just here to say hi, beautiful. But that ain’t it.”

He pulled a piece of paper from his breast pocket and tossed it to her. Susan unfolded it. She read it once, then again, aloud. “5000 caps for the freak mayor of Goodneighbor known as Hancock dead or alive. 5000 caps for the sniper known as MacCready dead or alive. 10,000 caps for the bitch known as Susan, AKA the Sole Survivor, AKA General of the Minutemen dead.” She swallowed. “20,000 for her alive.”

The note wasn’t signed. After she read it a third time, her heart pounding, Susan looked at Hancock. “Holy shit,” she said.

“Yeah,” he replied roughly.

Susan stared at the paper. “What are we gonna do?”

“We?” Hancock laughed, but not like it was funny. “Wasn’t sure there was a ‘we.’”

Susan just looked at him. “What are you gonna do?”

“Pretty sure I know where to find the kind of organization that could put up this kind of money.” He paused. “I’ll take care of it.”

Her mind raced. “What do you mean?”

“Gotta take out the money man, sunshine. Otherwise they’ll just keep comin’. Don’t matter how many times they fail, they only gotta get it right once.”

Susan looked down at the note. “So you think you know where to find whoever wants us all dead? It has to have something to do with.... them, right? That night?” She wanted to cry at the thought that someone out there she had never even met wanted to kill her. Didn’t she have enough people wanting to hurt her?

“Yeah,” he replied shortly. “Looks like somebody took exception to our double execution dinner party. Don’t worry. Think I know where they’re based.”

“Where?”

“The Combat Zone,” Hancock told her.

Susan looked at him, aghast. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I hope you’re not thinking about going in there by yourself? Nobody can handle all the raiders in the Combat Zone,” she added. “Certainly no single person. It would take an army.”

She had been in there one time, early in her adventures throughout the ruins. When she’d seen the amount of raiders that roamed there after she snuck in, she had snuck back out twice as quickly.

“Gonna do whatever I have to do,” he told her. “I got friends. Me and Mac can fuck some shit up.”

“You’re insane,” she informed him. She paused. “I’m not worth it. Don’t waste your life trying to save mine.”

“Ain’t just your neck on the line, sister.”

Susan looked at her hands. “This is all my fault, though.”

His brow went up. “No, it ain’t your fault, sunshine…”

“Yes, it is!” she said fiercely. “None of this would’ve happened if I would’ve just held my temper with that Brick asshole.” She couldn’t look at Hancock. “I should’ve just blushed and flirted, acted like I was flattered, let you take care of it when you showed up. None of this would’ve happened,” she said again. It was all she’d been able to think about for the last few days. “You even asked me why I was making enemies. Remember?”

Hancock slowly shook his head. “That ain’t how it is, sunshine.”

“Yes, it is. And I should’ve done something. That night. I was like a baby without my shotgun. I didn’t know how to defend myself at all. If I had, maybe...”

“Sunshine, what the hell do you think you could’ve done against six armed men? It wasn’t your fault,” Hancock argued.

“Yes it was. I wasn’t good enough.” Susan took a deep breath. “And that night...” She couldn’t make herself say the name. “That night... He... Came in to get his brother, I should’ve just killed him. I knew he was a psychopath. All my decisions are fucked up. All my decisions end with somebody getting hurt. That night, it was me.”

Hancock stood up. He took a few steps towards her and crouched down so his face was just in front of hers. “Wasn’t your fault, sunshine,” he growled. 

Susan wanted to hear it but she didn’t believe it. “Yes it was,” she insisted. “None of this would’ve happened if I’d been nicer to Brick. If I’d been smart enough to kill… Him. Hell, I couldn’t even have a threesome without hurting someone,” she said bitterly. “Every decision I make is wrong.”

“That ain’t true. Just think of how things would’ve been different if you made different choices. What if you hadn’t called out that Brick asshole? He’d be out there right now hurtin’ some other woman. His piece of shit brother, too. What if you’d been different towards Mac? He woulda been in that room with us that night,” he reminded her roughly. “No one woulda been able to save us.”

Susan felt confused. She looked down. Hancock was right but it was like he didn’t understand everything she did. “But, I…” she began.

“Wasn’t about you, sunshine,” he said roughly. “Wasn’t about what you did. This is about the kind of man who can’t accept a woman doin’ the kind of things they could only dream of.” Hancock paused, and Susan realized he meant her. “Don’t know if I care enough about my own wreck of a life enough to tackle the Zone, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let them get you. The Commonwealth needs ya.”

“Hancock, please. This is suicide.”

“I like to think of death as the ultimate drug trip. When it happens, I'll be too busy enjoyin' it to have regrets,” he said, his voice raspy.

“I’m serious,” she said tightly. This wasn’t the time for jokes!

“Listen, sunshine,” he said, and Susan couldn’t help but look him in the eyes. “Wasn’t that long ago you told me I was the only thing you were livin’ for. I know that ain’t true now.” Hancock looked at her tenderly and for the first time since the incident Susan didn’t feel like she wanted to look away. “But I can’t say the reverse ain’t true.” It took a second for Susan to put that together, and her heart skipped a beat when she did. “Couldn’t just keep goin' on knowin’ someone wants you dead. Even if ya don’t want me,” he added, his voice dropping to a low growl.

Susan blinked at him. “What makes you think that?”

“You left. You took Hope,” Hancock told her. “Figured that was the end of it, for you at least. Wasn’t so easy for me.”

“You think it was easy for me? Every night I think about…” She trailed off. She thought about all the things he’d shown her, given her, done with her and for her. Suddenly looking at him was the easiest thing in the world. “I still want you,” she said in a whisper, like a confession. 

Hancock just studied her for a long moment. He looked like he was about to say something, but just then another voice came from behind her. 

“Susan? What’s going on here?”

She turned to look. Paladin Danse was standing in the door. Hancock stood and took a few steps towards him. 

“Keep away from me, you filthy ghoul,” Danse spat.

“Don’t flatter yourself, crew-cut, you ain’t my type,” Hancock shot back, putting his hands on his hips. 

Susan quickly got up, her heart hammering. Had she just told him she still wanted him? And Hancock had not replied. 

The two men sized each other up. Hancock spoke first. “Brotherhood, huh?” he rasped. “Like to see what you’re capable of without all that power armor.”

“Trust me, freak,” Danse snapped back. “You wouldn’t.”

“Guys, please,” Susan said, stepping between them. She felt like she was in high school again with all the posturing. She couldn’t help but wonder who would actually win that fight, though. “Hancock came with important news for me, Danse.” She handed him the note. 

Danse read it, frowning. “I see,” he said briskly, but Susan could see how troubled he was. “We better get back to the Prydwen, then. If this ghoul can sneak in here, even the Castle’s not safe.”

“I can’t just stay on the Prydwen forever,” Susan said. “Hancock thinks he knows where to go for the money man.” An idea hit her. “Let’s all three go together and just take care of this right now! We can see if there’s any volunteers from the Minutemen and the Brotherhood, maybe some Neighborhood Watch...”

The two men eyed each other distastefully for a long moment. Susan could tell the thought of doing anything together was equally repugnant to both of them. 

Finally Hancock looked at her. “Not an option, sister.”

Danse said, “I don’t think it would be a strategically sound option to take you, Susan.”

She gaped back and forth between them. Just a second ago they were about to rumble, and now they were united against her? “Why not? I can fight as well as either of you. Close, at least,” she amended. “I’m stealthier than both of you put together. I can bullseye a mirelurk in the face from 300 yards away!”

Danse shook his head. “Of course you can, Susan,” he said in a placating tone. She narrowed her eyes. He knew she could because he’d seen her do it. Why was he acting like this? 

“No doubt,” Hancock said, and at least he sounded like he meant it. “But you’re the one they really want, sunshine.” Susan’s eyes widened as he used his pet name for her. She didn’t look at Danse. “Takin’ ya in there would be just what they’d like. Plus it’d make it harder to keep my mind on the task when I was tryna watch your back. Crew-cut’s got the right of it. Why don’t you head back up to the Prydwen? We got this.”

“I hate to admit it, but I agree with the ghoul,” Danse said, frowning at him. “Having you there would be a liability, not because you aren’t a valuable fighting asset, but because you are more valuable to the enemy as a hostage.” 

Susan frowned. What they said made sense, but she couldn’t help but feel like they were doing this because they didn’t think she could keep up with them. 

The paladin continued. “Tell me more about this Combat Zone,” he directed Hancock. 

“You were right, sunshine, he does like barkin’ orders,” Hancock said lazily, eying the paladin as if she had told him all about Danse. 

Susan knew he was trying to tease the man, but she also thought about that night and how.... He.... had said the same thing about Hancock. Is he like that with you, beautiful? The words rang in her head. 

Susan closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to fight down the wave of panic she felt as the scene tried to replay in her head. “At least he doesn’t handcuff me and rough me up,” she said in a quiet, flat voice. She looked at Hancock then.

“Shit, sunshine, I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” he said, horror filling his dark eyes as he realized. 

“What are you talking about? Did he...?” Danse took a threatening step forward towards Hancock, and Susan put her hand on his chest piece to stop him.

“No,” she said. “It was that night, Danse. Remember? I told you earlier.” She let her hand drop and took a deep breath. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t go.” 

They both nodded as if she’d finally said something intelligent. Susan rolled her eyes. “I’ll take Hope to the Prydwen.” It was just some raiders, right? They would take backup. She had been fresh out of the vault when she found the Combat Zone. It probably wasn’t as bad as she remembered. She could probably go clear it by herself. It would be a piece of cake for Hancock and Danse. 

“I’ll help you with her stuff. I have to go back to the Prydwen, too. I need to talk to some people and collect some gear before I go,” Danse told her. Susan glanced at Hancock out of the corner of her eye. The paladin looked back-and-forth between the two of them, frowning. “I’ll meet you at the bird,” he told her stiffly. “Hancock, I’ll meet you outside Goodneighbor in a few hours.”

When they were alone together, Susan took Hancock’s hand in hers and looked at him. She was kind of hoping he would say something, but then she remembered she had told him to shut the fuck up sometimes. It made her smile. 

“Never thought I’d see you look at me like that again, sunshine,” Hancock said, his voice husky. 

“Be careful,” Susan said softly. “Come back to me.”

“I will return to you when I can. Please take care of Hope. You gave her that name for a reason,” he quoted from her note to him. He pulled it out of his pocket and showed it to her.

Susan laughed, looking down. She wondered if he would go on. Hancock gave her hand a squeeze. She looked back up at him through her lashes. “There’s nothing to forgive,” she told him. She pulled the note he had sent her out of her pocket and showed it to him. “I think about jumping off every day,” she added. She paused, her hand tightening on his. “Can you forgive me?”

Hancock put his hand on her cheek. “Yours, sunshine,” he said, and his voice was that husky purr that always made shivers go up her spine. “Utterly.”

He pulled away from her and was out the door before she could say another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I started out writing smut and somehow now I’m writing a commentary on how different people talk to sexual assault victims and how they internalize it...


	23. "A Piece of the Action"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse asks Susan some uncomfortable questions about her relationship with Hancock. Will she tell him the truth? The two men head to the Combat Zone.

Her:

“Sunshine, huh?” Danse said to her. 

They were back on the Prydwen. Hope was all settled in. Susan was watching the paladin prepare his supplies for the assault on the Combat Zone. She felt her cheeks grow warm at his question.

“Yeah,” she said, biting her lip. “That’s what he calls me.”

“Interesting,” Danse told his plasma grenade. 

“He’s a good person, you know,” Susan said. She tried to think of how to explain Hancock. “He tries to help other people.”

Danse looked at her. “He’s not a person, Susan,” he said flatly. “He’s a ghoul. A monster.”

“He’s not a monster,” Susan said, frowning. “The assholes who tried to rape me were monsters. Hancock is a man. A good man. And if you think he’s a freak, well guess what? I’m into freaks! And if you think he’s disgusting, you must think I’m disgusting, too.” 

Danse looked back down. “That’s not what I meant,” he said lamely. She just stared at him. “When you say you’re... into... freaks,” he began carefully. Susan raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean... You... He...” The paladin trailed off. He swallowed visibly.

Susan studied him. Were they really gonna do this right now? She wondered if Danse knew the truth about her and Goodneighbor’s mayor if he would find her repulsive. He might even refuse to help her, refuse to go to the Combat Zone with Hancock. She thought about lying to him, telling him it hadn’t been like that. But she was so achingly tired of the lies, the secrecy. The manipulation. 

“Yes,” she said simply. 

“You had an intimate relationship with… With a…” Danse shook his head, his eyebrows drawn together in distress.

“Yes, Danse,” she said. 

“Why?” he asked her, turning to look at her now, the disgust clear on his face. 

Susan thought about his question. She wanted to slap him, to snap something sarcastic at him, make him angry, anything to get that look off his face. But she sensed this was an important moment. And there was no easy answer.

“Hancock helped me when I really needed it. He stopped someone from extorting me when I was fresh out of the vault. He stopped something else bad from happening to me, too. He treated me like… Like a gentleman. I could tell he genuinely cared about me.” She looked down. “He taught me a lot. I don’t know if I would even be alive without him.”

“So you felt like you owed him?” Danse suggested hopefully. It would be so easy to just say yes, she did it because she felt like she owed Hancock. To make the paladin feel like she had done what she had done because of coercion would make it easier for him to swallow.

“No,” Susan said, shaking her head. “I got to know him,” she added gently. There was a long silence. 

“Is that the only kind of… Person… You could ever be interested in?” Danse said finally. 

Susan cocked her head, studying him. “No,” she told him. “I just don’t exclude people based on what they look like on the outside.” 

Danse took a very deep breath and let it out slowly. He started packing again. “I guess I never imagined it was like that between you two. I mean, sure, I assumed he had feelings for you. You’re so sweet, and fun to be around, I don’t know how he couldn’t. But I guess I never imagined you actually cared about him. I just thought you used him like you used the Railroad. Like you use the Minutemen when you need to. Like you use Elder Maxson, the Brotherhood, even…” He broke off, shaking his head, like he’d said more than he meant. 

“Danse,” Susan said softly, a plea. She didn’t know what to say. Was she that fucking transparent? Why would he keep helping her if he thought she was just using him? 

“It’s none of my business,” he told her, finishing up loading his power armor with ammo and supplies. He avoided her gaze. 

“Danse,” she said again, a command. He looked at her. She would’ve done almost anything to get that broken look off his face, the sadness out of those puppy-dog brown eyes. But she couldn’t think of anything to say. They just stared at each other for a few seconds. 

Danse turned away, reaching for his helmet, but Susan grabbed the edge of his power armor chest piece, pulling him back around. She tugged on it, and he studied her briefly, then leaned down. She put her hand on the side of his head and parted her lips with a lick. She tilted her head as she came in slowly, letting him decide if he wanted it or not, and when he closed his eyes, she kissed him.

There was something about knowing that Danse was about to go seek out a man he detested, whom he knew she had been intimate with, and do something that could possibly get him killed, all for Susan, even though the man knew she didn’t feel the same way about him that he felt about her. Susan kissed him differently than she ever had before, closing her eyes, trying to convey with her mouth everything she couldn’t say aloud.

When she pulled away, Danse looked dazed. He regarded her the same way he’d looked at her that day she’d picked the lock in the hospital; like she was a different species from him. 

“Did you just do that so I would still go to the Combat Zone with your ghoul ex-boyfriend and kill a bunch of raiders for you?” the paladin asked, somewhat breathlessly. 

“Duh. Obviously,” she told him, rolling her eyes. 

He just laughed shakily, and shook his head, still looking at Susan like he wasn’t quite sure what she was. Then he put on the helmet and strode out without saying anything else.

 

Him:

“Well, crew-cut, how do you wanna play this?” Hancock said.

“You’re the one who knows the dirty underground of the Commonwealth, ghoul,” the paladin said. “What do you think?”

“You’re the one who’s supposed to know about military shit,” he growled. “Figured you’d have a plan already. Half expected you to show up with an army.”

Danse busied himself with his laser rifle. “Elder Maxson refused my request for assistance,” he said briskly. “Besides, if there’s anything I learned from Susan, it’s that a few people can do what an army couldn’t.”

“I’m listenin’, crew-cut,” Hancock said. 

“I think just the two of us can handle this,” Danse said. “Susan told me you were a good fighter. It’s just some trash raiders,” he added dismissively. 

Hancock regarded the paladin. “All right, crew-cut. There’s one more gun deserves a piece of the action.”

“Suppose it must be this MacCready, ghoul?”

“Listen, crew-cut. I’ll call you Danse if you call me Hancock.”

The man stared at him for a moment. “Let’s go, Hancock,” Danse said.

 

Her:

Susan stood on the foredeck of the Prydwen. She took a long drag off her illicit cigarette. She stared west, towards Goodneighbor. Towards the Combat Zone. 

She looked at the note in her hands again. The unsigned piece of paper had been delivered to Garvey at the Castle and then to her, on the Prydwen. 

‘These three don’t seem to know how to play nice. Maybe you can come and show me how you get them to do what you want? One dies tomorrow.’

Susan crumpled the note. She let it go and watched it fall out of sight. Then she let the cigarette go, too.


	24. "It's A Trap"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan sneaks into the Combat Zone to try to rescue Danse and Hancock. But is this the kind of thing she can really handle alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely just appropriated the whole idea of the Combat Zone and made it into what it could have been.

Susan stared at the sign outside the Combat Zone. She had been here before. Orpheus Theater, they called it then. Nate had taken her to see a play she couldn’t stop talking about. She thought about the pictures they had taken of that night. It had looked so different.

She crept in quietly, wearing her power armor, and headed up to the back of the old theater. She crouched down, knowing the stealth field on her armor would keep anyone from seeing her. All was quiet. She wondered if the rest of her preparations were in place. When nothing happened as long minutes ticked by, Susan sat down. It didn’t really matter if anyone else had made it. She was going to do whatever she had to do. 

Suddenly red lights lit up the stage below. There was a cage around the central part of it, creating an enclosed arena. Two square openings in the floor led to the area below. A voice came over the speaker.

“We’ve got a very special entertainment for you tonight,” the silky, almost-familiar voice said. “Please gather round.”

Susan watched the raiders gather to watch the match. She carefully noted all the locations of the ones she could see.

“Yes, a very special match,” the voice continued. “In one corner, we have the freak mayor of Goodneighbor, John Hancock.” There was a pause as boos filled the arena. Then she saw an elevator coming up in the cage, acting as a lift. 

Hancock was crouched on it, and Susan moaned softly when she saw him. He looked like the last day had not been easy for him. He was wearing black pants and the boots she had given him for Christmas plus his tricorn hat, but everything was battered and scuffed. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. There were a few angry slashes on one of his pecs. He didn’t try to stand up until the elevator came level with the stage. Clearly it was not his first time taking that ride.

It was hard to tell with his ravaged skin, but he moved stiffly enough for Susan to realize he must be bruised all over. When the crowd saw him straight on, they booed even louder. “Filthy fucking ghoul!” she heard from the woman directly in front of her.

“You die first, bitch,” Susan whispered.

“In the other corner! A Brotherhood of Steel paladin known as Danse!” He was booed, just as roundly as Hancock had been. 

Danse came up the elevator now, and Susan’s breath caught when she saw him. Like Hancock, he was wearing just pants and boots. Unlike Hancock, the bruises covering his body were perfectly observable. He was a tattoo of black and blue. When he got to his feet, Susan took another sharp intake of breath. It was clear he had been beaten severely.

The men eyed each other from the opposite sides of the cage. Susan realized as she studied them that it was not the same look they had given each other in the Castle Courtyard, and she wondered what had happened between then and now.

“What are you waiting for? I was hoping you’d tear each other apart with your bare hands,” the silky voice said. 

The two men continued staring at each other for a few seconds. Then Danse turned away. “I won’t fight,” he announced. “This ghoul is a decent person.” The crowd booed roundly. 

When they quieted down slightly, the voice returned. “Are you sure, paladin?” said the silky-smooth sound on the speakers. “In front of you is the freak your little girlfriend couldn’t get enough of.” Susan’s eyes widened in disbelief. “She chose this rotting corpse over you. Over and over and over. Wouldn’t you like to show him how you really feel about that?”

Danse looked at Hancock as the crowd jeered. Susan could tell he was struggling to control his reaction. “You think you can taunt me into fighting?”

“You have a choice,” the voice continued. “You can fight the ghoul or you can die now. The loser of this match will be executed.”

Susan’s face crumpled as she watched the men stare at each other. She still didn’t know what had happened between the last time she saw them and now, but it was clear they didn’t want to do this.

A pair of raiders came out with a small table. On it were a choice of weapons; a combat knife, a baseball bat, a pipe wrench, and a security baton. “The ghoul chooses the weapon first since the paladin is uncooperative.” The silky voice was full of unveiled threat. 

Hancock slowly walked to the table. He stared at the weapons, then finally chose the knife. Although it was the weapon Susan would’ve picked for him, having seen the way he handled one and knowing everything he'd taught her, she groaned quietly when she saw his choice. She had also seen Paladin Danse with a baseball bat. The man was deadly.

Finally Danse walked to the table. He took the bat. The two began to circle around each other, slow, careful movements. When Danse came in with a brutal swing from the baseball bat, Susan caught her breath. But Hancock dodged and rolled out of the way, slashing backward. He hit the paladin a glancing blow to the calf, and Danse collapsed to the ground, one hand sliding off the bat.

He was on his feet in a second though, swinging the bat with precision force, and he scored a hit on Hancock’s left arm, but the mayor skipped backward deftly, missing the second crippling backhand blow. They began to circle each other again. Susan felt mesmerized by the combat. She had idly wondered what the outcome of a melee between these two formidable men would be. But now that she was watching it she realized she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Especially considering the outcome.

She’d been watching the deadly, dangerous dance for a few minutes, her mouth hanging open, when suddenly she heard a muffled explosion from outside the Combat Zone. It was the kind of thing no one would even have paid much attention to. Just a frag grenade going off. A ubiquitous sound in the Commonwealth. But then she heard a second one, and a third. 

It was time.

With smooth, stealthy movements, Susan crept down to where the jeering female raider sat. She pulled out her combat knife and used the blade from behind in the way Hancock had taught her, then eased the body to the ground. She crept up behind the other raider sitting on the crosswalk and slit his throat, too, but he fell with a thump. Susan swung her plasma rifle around and stayed crouching, motionless, waiting. “What the fuck?” she heard. The raider who ran up disintegrated when she hit him with the rifle.

As the rest of the raiders in the theater became aware that something was off, Susan snuck into a small room to the right, above the arena. She grabbed the first raider in there and slashed a third throat, viciously. Her knife was dripping red. She dodged the second raider’s attack with a pipe wrench and shot him with the rifle. She could still hear the sounds of combat below but she couldn’t see Hancock or Danse from her corner facing the door. Three raiders ran in, one at a time, and each one fell to a single shot from her plasma rifle.

Why was I even worried? Susan chuckled as she waited for the next target. She wiped the knife off on a corpse’s shirt and sheathed it. This was easy. Almost fun! She got the next one before he even stepped foot in the room. As his body fell hard to the ground below, Susan heard a female voice in an unusual accent say, “That was the ugly one anyway.” 

“We have an intruder,” the silky voice said. “Hello, Susan.” She took a deep breath. “5000 caps to the man who brings her to me now,” the voice said, and the silk was gone. “She’s in the right control room.”

Six more raiders fell to Susan’s plasma gun. Quite a puddle was accumulating. When she didn’t hear anything for a few moments, she peeked out the window into the arena. Hancock and Danse were just staring. She fought down a stab of disappointment when she realized she wasn’t going to get to see who would win. What’s wrong with you? she thought. How about you just worry about staying alive? And not which of your boyfriends can beat up the other?

Tentatively, she crept out of the room. A raider came screaming out from behind the cage with an assault rifle, looking for her, and she aimed carefully and got him with one shot. His head exploded off his shoulders, and Susan heard the feminine voice again. “Well, aren't you the dangerous one,” it remarked. “Always suspected they'd look better that way.”

Susan waited a few seconds, listening. She straightened up, knowing her stealth field would slide off. Movement from far to her left and far to her right told her the action had not gone unnoticed, and she quickly crouched again. Two more shots from her plasma rifle brought silence to the arena. One more female raider tried to surprise her from behind as she aimed in the other direction, but her power armor protected her and she bashed the woman with her gun and disintegrated her when she staggered back. She waited. 

When she was sure that was all of them, Susan jumped down, landing with her fist on the ground. She was feeling extremely satisfied as she rushed up to the cage.

Hancock and Danse’s identical looks of horror made her pause. “No, sunshine, it’s a trap,” Hancock said, his voice hoarse. Danse just looked at her like she was insane. 

All the lights went out.


	25. "One Big Jet Flashback"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan finds herself in the fight of her life. Hancock can’t believe what she’s learned from Danse.

“Hello, Susan,” said the silky voice into the darkness.

Hancock felt frozen. What the fuck was she doing here? No single person could take on all the raiders in the Combat Zone. She had told him herself. And yet she had come alone. He felt rough arms seize him from behind and a knife pressed against his throat as he was disarmed. 

When the lights came back up, raiders and gunners stood all around. Wherever they had been hiding, they now held Hancock and Danse and a dozen guns were aimed at the empty-seeming spot in the middle of the arena. 

“Don’t be shy,” the silky voice said. “I think we’re all looking forward to seeing you, General.”

With a small click, Susan appeared, standing from a crouch. Hancock wanted to scream when he saw the way she held her plasma rifle passively to the side. She must’ve known there were too many even for her.

“Very good,” the voice said approvingly. “You must realize you’re out of your league.” The voice roughened. “Disarm her,” it instructed.

Several raiders rushed to take her plasma rifle, the shotgun slung on her back. Hancock expected her to display fear, anger, frustration... Shit, anything. Instead as they ripped the weapons away, Susan just said, “Be careful with those, I’ll be getting them back later.” 

Her voice was distorted by her helmet but Hancock could clearly hear the disdain. “What the fuck are you doin’, sunshine?” he mouthed.

“Get out of your power armor,” the silky voice said menacingly. Susan just looked around, counting the raiders perhaps, looking for the source of the voice. “Do it now,” the voice threatened. “The ghoul gets it first.” Hancock felt the knife press in, felt a tiny trickle of blood down his throat.

“Don’t do it, sunshine,” he growled even though the slight movement of his throat pressed the knife in further.

Susan slowly turned to look at him. The raider with his knife at Hancock’s throat laughed as he waggled the knife slightly. Blood dripped from the edge.

“Stop,” she said flatly. Hancock heard a pop and a hiss as she exited her power armor, and he closed his eyes briefly. Now there was no chance. Not that there had been anyway. All choices were gone as soon as she stepped into the building. Susan barely reacted as raiders rushed up to check her for other weapons. She looked up at the source of the voice as they took a pistol, then a second one, her combat knife, and surprisingly, a machete she had strapped down the middle of her back, the hilt hidden in her short blond hair. One got in the power armor and moved it out of the arena.

“I’m so glad you could join us, Susan,” the voice whispered. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Funny, I’ve never heard of you,” Susan said dismissively. Hancock shook his head in astonishment then regretted it immediately as the knife scraped his throat. She really was fucking crazy. 

The voice laughed, mockingly. “I’ve heard that about you, too, Susan. I’ve heard you like to talk a big game.” The voice lowered an octave. “I’ve also heard that’s all you’ve got once you’re out of your armor and stripped of weapons.” Hancock watched Susan’s face harden. The voice continued. “I’m given to understand you got where you are by fucking all the powerful men you meet. I’ve heard without all your toys, you’re nothing. My man Brick... He told me you were quick to pull out a knife and talk shit, but you think you’re better than learning how to defend yourself. He said you were happy to let others do it for you.”

Susan wore a bored expression. “I suppose you’re going somewhere with this?”

“Of course, Susan.” The voice was hard. “Tonight I’m going to show the whole world that without power armor and weapons you’re nothing. Without your lovers protecting you, you’re less than nothing. Just a pretty little girl trying to make her way in a man’s world.”

To Hancock’s astonishment, Susan pulled out a cigarette from a hidden pocket and lit it with the lighter she drew out. She blew smoke in the direction of the speaker. “Whatever,” she said, sneering.

The voice was less silky now in the face of her nonchalant attitude. “I’ve been looking forward to having you here for a long time. I’ve given a lot of thought to what I’m going to do with you.”

Susan took a long drag of her cigarette. Another. Moments passed. “Oh yeah?” she said finally, like it didn’t really matter. 

“Oh yeah,” the voice said menacingly. “I’m looking forward to seeing you fight. Every time you win, I’ll beat the shit out of you. But if you lose, I’m going to rape you. I won’t be as gentle as my man Panzer was with his toys. I wonder how long it will take before you’re begging for a beating when you lose?”

Whatever response the voice hoped to elicit from Susan, Hancock guessed this was not it. She laughed and a smile pulled up the corners of her mouth. She took a long drag off the cigarette. “Bring it on,” she snarled.

“Do it,” instructed the voice. Rough hands dragged Hancock and Danse to the side and out of the cage. Raiders took the baseball bat and the combat knife and put them back on the table. Hancock growled when he saw the rough way they jerked Susan to the side, but she just tried to get another drag off her cigarette before they snatched it away. 

Two more raiders pulled Cait, the saucy redhead Hancock had fought earlier, into the ring. “I’m going to start you easy because I’m really looking forward to beating the shit out of you,” the silky voice said. “And I’ll give you choice of weapon since I’ve heard you can’t even defend yourself if you don’t have a gun.”

Susan looked across the arena at the redhead. “Hello,” she said in a friendly way. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Cait. That was quite the show,” Cait told her. “Certainly know how to clear a room.” 

“Well, it’s really all about technique, isn’t it?” Susan said in a lecturing tone. “It’s difficult to kill a large group of people if they all know you’re there. It’s easier if you can take out two or three first, stealthily. Then you gotta get your back into a corner some place where no one can hit you from a distance. Then it’s just a matter of…”

“Stop!” the voice said, and Hancock could hear the man’s frustration. More than a hint. He would’ve shaken his head again but he didn’t want to slit his own damn throat so he just marveled at how Susan could rile up even this asshole with her attitude. “Quit stalling! You can’t talk yourself out of this one, General. Choose a weapon.”

Susan frowned. “Just trying to make friends,” she said stiffly. “You should try it, sweetie. Must be lonely up there wherever you are.” 

“Oh, I have a strong feeling I’m going to be having company very soon,” the voice said in a meaningful tone. Susan put on skeptical look and something clicked in Hancock’s mind. Stalling. That’s what the voice had said. 

Stalling. 

“What, are you having a party? Because I mean, if you have plans, I can come back later,” Susan said. 

“You think you’re so clever. Choose a weapon or the ghoul dies.”

She looked at the table. It was like she had all the time in the world. With slow steps, she crossed to it. She took her time examining the knife, the bat. Finally she picked up the baton and tossed it in her hand without opening it. She backed away.

When Hancock saw her decision, he groaned. He’d never seen her use any kind of a melee weapon but a knife. Why the fuck hadn’t she taken that? Was she hoping to be merciful? Despite what the voice claimed, Cait was no joke. That woman was capable of using every weapon in the arena.

Hancock knew from personal experience. 

Cait grabbed the bat. The women began to circle each other. Hancock half expected Cait to take Susan down within a few seconds. But to his shock, when Cait charged Susan with the bat, swinging it hard in an overhand stance, Susan didn’t even open the baton. She just ducked aside and slipped around the other woman. The next few exchanges went similarly, Cait charging at Susan with the bat, swinging with short, aggressive strokes, Susan not even trying to hit her, holding the baton in her left fist with her other hand behind her back. Shit, she almost looked like she was enjoying herself.

“You teach her how to do that, crew-cut?” Hancock growled to Danse in disbelief. The paladin couldn’t tear his eyes off of her as he nodded.

Susan’s eyes were practically sparkling as she kept Cait from scoring a single hit on her with the bat. When she dodged two vicious swings easily and Cait spun around with a surprise third one that landed on her hip, she skipped away, shaking her head, her lips pursed. “She always misses the third one,” Danse said critically. The raider holding him shook him by the hair. 

Susan frowned. She flipped the security baton out, and Hancock saw Cait take a deep breath. “Please don’t take this personally," Susan told the redhead. "I hope you understand, I hold you in the highest regard." When Cait worked up the courage to attack her again, Susan barely even moved as she dodged the bat within a hair’s breadth. As she slipped past the redhead, Susan hit her from behind with three blows almost too quick to follow, ankle, knee, wrist, then spun away, her arms spread, the baton ready. Cait dropped the bat and fell to the floor, gasping. Susan performed a theatrical curtsey. 

“Seems like she’s doin’ all right to me,” Hancock growled, stunned by what he was seeing. Hell, he’d seen Susan shoot so he knew she was deadly with a gun. But her weeks on the Prydwen had honed her into a deadly weapon all on her own. 

The voice must not have been very happy with her performance because the lights went out again and when they came up, armed raiders stood in the middle of the cage again. 

“Impressive,” said the voice, coolly. “But my man Panzer told me you’re very proud of your left hand. I wonder what you could do without it?”

The raiders rushed up to grab Susan. She tried to fight this time but they jerked her left arm behind her. One of them pulled out his knife and without preamble slashed her from her wrist to her elbow. Susan cried out involuntarily and Hancock heard an echoing roar come from his own throat. And then he heard a third from Danse next to him. 

The raiders released Susan, and she dropped to the ground, bleeding. “Let’s try that again,” the voice said. 

Susan looked panicked as she clutched her torn arm. But then she seemed to gather herself and she pressed the wound against her torso. Slowly she picked up the security baton with her right hand.

“If you lose it’s going to be a rough night for you, Cait,” the voice whispered. Cait swallowed visibly. She looked at Susan, pale and bleeding on the floor. But she raised her baseball bat and charged her.

Hancock clenched his teeth, expecting to hear a crunch as the bat hit Susan. But at the last moment she rolled out of the way and hit Cait with the baton on her knee from behind hard enough that Cait fell again, heavily. Susan cracked her on the elbow and she shrieked and dropped the bat.

“Holy shit,” Hancock croaked out. He’d never seen her do anything with her right hand. Hell, she was a master with that baton.

“She remembered to roll,” Danse breathed next to him. 

“I'm gonna be real mad if this turns out to be one big Jet flashback,” Hancock replied. 

“Shut the fuck up,” his guard hissed.

Susan staggered to her feet as Cait retrieved the bat. The women circled each other again. When Cait came in swinging this time, Susan couldn’t evade every blow. Cait hit her on the shoulder, on her wounded arm; she yelped in pain. Her eyes narrowed. Cait came in for a second volley and Susan dodged the bat by a fraction, spinning past her, and hit the redhead on the back of her head with the baton, knocking her down. This time Susan took the bat from her and backed away. 

“Is that the best you’ve got?” she said tauntingly, holding a weapon in each hand. Blood streamed down the bat, dripping onto the floor. “Why don’t you come fight me yourself?”

The lights went down again. Hancock heard Cait’s protests as someone bundled her off. Heavy footsteps echoed through the theater. 

When the lights came up long moments later, a beast of a man stood in the corner of the cage. Susan had crouched, clutching her bleeding arm to her side, but she slowly turned to face him and stood up. The color drained from her face when she saw the man’s ice blue eyes, his familiar features. 

Apparently the assholes had a third brother.

“Hello Susan,” the man greeted her warmly. He turned like a showman so Danse and Hancock could see them both. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

The expression on her face changed. “I know, sweetie,” Susan replied saucily. She spread her arms, swinging the bat and baton away from her. She wiggled her chest at the man suggestively. Hancock heard Danse gasp in shock next to him. Shit. Looked like crew-cut had never seen this side of her. Hancock could hardly believe his own self that she was capable of looking like that with this mountain of a man, so like her abuser, facing her intimidatingly.

“My name is Hawk,” he told her.

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Susan said pleasantly. “Nice place you got here,” she added, looking around the theater. She smiled at Hawk. The man looked at her like he’d had a speech planned that didn’t involve her acting as though they were on a date. 

“Yes, I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time. You may have guessed by now, but Brick and Panzer were my brothers. Your meeting with Brick was no coincidence. I’d heard there was a woman out in the Commonwealth acting like she was some kind of conquering hero,” Hawk said.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Susan cut in, pointing at her chest with the baton, fluttering her eyelashes. 

“So I sent him to Goodneighbor to see what he could find out. I have spies all over,” Hawk informed her, and Hancock’s teeth ground together. If he ever got home, his town was getting a fucking workover. “Unfortunately I got some bad intel that night and when I sent our brother, Panzer, to retrieve Brick after you assaulted him, you tricked him into thinking you weren’t the woman in question.”

“Yeah, sweetie. That’s kind of what I do,” Susan said with blatantly false modestly. “Plus kick ass,” she added. “How about that fight, you piece of shit?”

“Susan,” the man scolded her. “You already won one fight tonight. Are you ready to risk losing another one? I mean, I know your reputation,” and Hawk’s voice dropped an octave suggestively as he said the word. “You’ve fucked both of these patsies, not to mention the tender little sniper downstairs. Probably more I don’t even know about. Did you do Garvey, too? Is that why he made you a general? You must be very, very skilled in bed. But are you really that eager to have me, Susan?” He eyed her from top to bottom and back up. “Was Panzer so good you can’t stop thinking about him?” Hawk gave her an unpleasant smile. “I’m even better,” he told her.

Susan took a few deep breaths and Hancock could tell she was struggling to keep up the act. In the silence, he heard a grenade go off in the distance, muffled. That was the fourth or fifth one he’d heard tonight. The sound seemed to give Susan strength. 

“I just wanna show you I know how to treat a man like you,” she purred. 

Hawk took a threatening step towards her. “Is that right, Susan?” he said, and Hancock growled low in his throat at the tone of his voice.

“Yeah,” Susan said, and her green eyes went a little crazy as she regarded him. Shit, Hancock thought. This was about to get real. “Just like I treated your brothers,” she spat.

The man snarled at her. “I’m going to go ahead and give you that beating, Susan, for winning your last match. Then we’re going to fight and I’ll even let you choose the weapon first again. After I fuck you up, I’m going to fuck you. And you’re going to tell me how much you love it while you look at your hideous ghoul lover and your pathetic paladin.” 

Hawk took another step and he was just a few feet from her now. Hancock tried to fight down the panic he felt as the man approached Susan. Fuck, at least she was armed. But she had an expression on her face he didn’t understand. 

“That’s not what’s going to happen here,” Susan told the man. She dropped the baseball bat to the ground first and Hancock thought she would attack Hawk with the baton. His eyes widened in shock as she pushed it closed and dropped that, too. 

“The fuck, sunshine,” Hancock growled, and the man holding him waved the knife in his face. It was already covered with his blood.

“Susan,” Danse said, desperately, struggling, and got the butt of a gun in the back of his head for his trouble.

Hawk laughed heartily, shaking his head and clasping his hands behind his back. “Oh, Susan,” he chuckled. “You are a piece of work; do you know that? Do you really imagine you can seduce me like you have all these fools? Work your wiles on me, get me to treat you gently? Was that your plan coming in here? Because if so, and that’s how you played my brothers, they deserved to die.” His face grew cold. 

“You misapprehend me,” Susan replied lightly. “You’re not really my type.”

Hawk shook his head, an ugly frown on his face as he regarded her. “Do you have anything else to say before you get your beating, General?”

“Yes, I do,” she said pompously. She cleared her throat as if she was about to recite a poem. Then instead, she slowly lifted her right hand to her forehead. She gave Hawk a crisp salute.

Hancock heard a click like a stealth boy going off, but a dozen, two dozen times over. It all happened so quickly, it almost sounded like when Susan was typing at a computer console faster than seemed physically possible, a skill Hancock had always marveled at.

Minutemen appeared all over the theater. Twice as many as the raiders, easily. Two rushed in the cage and they quickly grabbed Hawk and forced him to his knees, handcuffing him. They pulled the raiders off Hancock and Danse. Both men staggered to their feet as Garvey ran up with a Stimpak and gave it to Susan, who pushed it into her arm, gritting her teeth.

“You fucking bitch,” the man growled. “You didn’t beat me. You let all these patsies do the work for you as usual.”

Susan ignored him for a moment as her wound stitched up. She finger-combed her blond hair, straightened her clothes. She held out one hand towards Garvey without expression and he handed Susan her favorite .38 special. 

She stepped up to Hawk. “I won today for the same reason I won against your asshole brothers. Because I have friends,” she told him. “Because the people I meet know I have one philosophy.” She turned to Hancock. “Tell him,” she said. “Say it.”

Hancock cleared his throat. He thought he knew what she wanted. “If someone needs help, we help ‘em. If someone needs hurtin’, we hurt ‘em,” he said. Shit, he’d never felt prouder of anyone in his entire life. “It ain’t hard,” he added.

“That’s right,” Susan said, nodding at him. Then she put the gun barrel against Hawk’s temple and pulled the trigger.


	26. "Handled Yourself Pretty Well"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock tells Susan she always has a place to stay in Goodneighbor. But she has something she has to take care of first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second part is mostly actual game quotes but I wanted to put in an undercurrent that didn’t exist in the game.

Him:

They limped back to Goodneighbor. Fortunately, it wasn’t far.

MacCready had a pretty bad concussion from his match with Cait. That was what slowed them down the most. Cait came with them, and she must’ve felt responsible, because she helped the sniper wordlessly the whole way. When they got him tucked into Hancock’s bed, Hancock growled to her to keep an eye on him. The redhead didn’t argue for once. She just sat on the bed.

Danse had left them at the entrance to the town, looking lingeringly at Susan before telling her he would see her on the Prydwen. 

Hancock shrugged into a spare shirt and his red coat. Then he took Susan’s hand, grabbed a bottle of whiskey, and pulled her to the balcony. He gave her the bottle and lit her cigarette. Now that they were alone together Susan finally let her emotions out of her. She began to tremble as she took a hit off the cigarette. She took a longer drink of whiskey than was probably prudent. She stared out into the town.

Hancock lit a smoke for himself. “Handled yourself pretty well, sister,” he said finally.

“What the fuck just happened, John?” Susan said in a trembling voice.

“Pretty sure you just showed the whole Commonwealth why they shouldn’t fuck with you,” Hancock told her. She didn’t look at him. “Wonder how close I came to going feral. Or maybe I did?” he said jokingly, but she didn’t even give him a snort or a chuckle. Her eyes were wide as she took another long drag off her cigarette. She clutched her now-healed left arm with the right. Responding to the unspoken need in her eyes like he had that first night they were together, Hancock held up his arm and just looked at her. Susan stared at him for a moment, his arm really, and then she tucked herself into his side. Hancock wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “That was spectacular, sunshine,” he said. Susan swallowed and her face crumpled slightly like it was an insult.

“I don’t even know what I just did. Was that even me?” she said incredulously.

Hancock nodded. The shock would wear off soon. There was something he wanted to tell her before that happened. “Better believe it, sunshine. You are a helluva woman.” He turned her to look at him, giving her a little shake.

Susan didn’t meet his gaze; she was too withdrawn into herself. “I can’t believe I just did that,” she marveled.

“Yeah? Well I can, beautiful,” he informed her. When she finally looked at him, he gently cupped her cheek in his hand.

“Don’t know why I ever doubted you,” Hancock purred. She just stared at him. “You looked like you fell outta the vault that day I met you. Now you’re the kinda person I’m proud to know.” She looked at him like she wasn’t sure he was telling the truth. “And I want you to know, Goodneighbor is always a place you can put your feet up, sunshine. I’d do anything to make you feel safe,” he added. “Anything.”

Susan buried her face in his shoulder. “I wish I could just stay here forever,” she told his red coat. She put her head up and looked at him. “I’ll come back. There’s something I have to do first, though,” she said. 

“Sounds on par for the course,” Hancock chuckled. He held her shoulders tightly.

“I’ll come back when I’m done,” she said. She didn’t look at him now, and he wondered if she really meant it. 

“Whaddya have to do, sunshine?” Hancock asked curiously.

Susan stared out into space. “I told Elder Maxson I would tag some nuclear bombs for him,” she said in a flat voice.

“You sure that’s what you wanna do?”

“No. But I want to know where the bombs are. I want to know what they look like, what they’re capable of.” Only then did Susan look at him. “I’m in control this situation,” she added. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. 

“All right, sunshine.” Hancock pulled her against him and she did not pull away. He wrapped his arms around her. “You promise you’re comin’ back?” he purred into her ear. He didn’t like saying it like that because it made him look needy as shit, but fuck if he hadn’t already spent enough time wondering if she was coming back or not. 

Susan leaned back to look him in the eyes. “I’ll be back when I can,” she told him. Hancock believed her. He let her go and she disappeared into the State House. 

 

Her:

Susan had never felt so tired in her entire life.

Last evening, she and Danse had made it out to Sentinel Site Prescott. Members of the church of Atom guarded the supply, but Susan had been able to talk Henri into letting them access the nukes. She had been feeling exceptionally proud of herself especially since Danse had tried to get her to give up on persuading the man.

The paladin had been acting strange the entire time and Susan had thought it was just the aftereffects of his time in the Combat Zone, but once they had secured the stash Danse had told her he wouldn’t be going back with her. 

Susan had just stared at him in disbelief. They were in the middle of the fucking Glowing Sea! “You were so worried about me you went into the Combat Zone to kill a man who wanted me assassinated, but now you think I’m perfectly fine to walk my happy ass halfway across the Commonwealth alone?” she’d said, aghast. 

“I think I’ve done enough to help keep you safe, Susan,” Danse had said, not looking at her. “I have my orders.”

“That means you knew you’d be staying here the whole time and you didn’t even bother to tell me!”

Finally Danse had looked at her, and Susan hadn’t understood the expression on his face when he said, “Following orders is the cornerstone of my life.”

So now here she was, about to get on a vertibird and report back to Elder Maxson, alone. She really wanted to go find a bunk and sleep for a day first. She thought about it as she got on the vehicle and it made its ascent to the Prydwen. But she was seriously considering reporting back and then taking another bird to Goodneighbor to sleep. She kept thinking about Hancock, how he had said he would do anything to keep her safe. 

Elder Maxson was on the command deck, and although she probably could have slipped past him up to the main deck, she decided to go ahead and report. 

“Is there anything you wish to tell me, Knight?” he snapped when he saw her. 

Susan got out of her power armor to speak with him. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about,” she told him, feeling confused and defensive.

“I find your ignorance awfully convenient,” Maxson said, glaring at her. “Proctor Quinlan completed the encryption of the data you received from the Institute. A portion of his findings included a list of synths that went missing or escaped from their underground facility. After careful analysis of the information, we’ve discovered something.... unprecedented.” He stared at her as if he expected her to know what he was talking about, but she just shook her head in bewilderment. “Paladin Danse is a perfect match for one of the synths on that list,” Maxson pronounced.

“That’s impossible!” Susan’s mouth dropped open.

“I’m afraid not,” he told her. “The evidence is quite damning. The data you brought back included a record of each subject’s DNA. We keep the same information on file for all of our soldiers. Paladin Danse’s DNA is a perfect match for a synth they call M7-97. To make matters worse, he’s gone AWOL. Disappeared without a trace. His sudden absence simply reinforces our conclusion that M7-97 and Paladin Danse are one and the same.” He raised his eyebrows at her but she just stared at him. “I’m finding it hard to believe that he never confided in you and then swore you to secrecy,” he said, rather menacingly.

“After everything I’ve done for the Brotherhood, you have some nerve accusing me of lying!” Susan snarled.

Maxson’s expression changed. “Hmmm. Your outburst leads me to believe I’ve misjudged you. Which means I’ve decided to take you at your word. Which doesn’t absolve you of your duty.” Susan frowned, wondering what he meant. “Danse is a synth,” the elder continued. “He represents everything we hate… A monstrosity of technology. Our mission and the Commonwealth is clear. The Institute and its creations need to be destroyed in order to preserve our future. Which leads me to give the most difficult order I’ve ever given.”

Susan shook her head slowly. She had a feeling she knew where this was going. But she still couldn’t believe it when she heard him say it. “I’m ordering you to hunt down Danse and execute him,” he declared.

“I won’t do it,” she said flatly. Her mind was in a whirl. “Danse deserves a chance to explain himself.”

“You will do it,” he told her, and she felt her face tighten at his authoritative tone. No one tells me what to do, she thought. “This is not up for judgment or debate!” Maxson said when he saw her expression. “I’m giving you a direct order, Knight, and I expect you to follow it without question.” He stared at her. Susan felt frozen in stone. The elder’s voice softened slightly. “Listen, I’m not blind to the fact that Danse was your mentor and this isn’t an easy burden to bear. But if we’re to remain strong, we can’t afford to make exceptions… even when it means executing one of your own.” 

Maxson seemed to think that was the end of it. He turned away from her. “Find Proctor Quinlan. He's been analyzing the data and should able to provide you with a starting point.” He lit a cigar he pulled out of his jacket, and Susan flushed when she thought about the unfairness of him puffing away on the command deck when she couldn’t even have a cigarette on the flight deck without getting told off. “And Knight,” he added, “there's a promotion for you riding on the results of these orders, so don't disappoint me.”

Susan just stood there for a few moments. Was she actually supposed to care more about a Brotherhood of Steel promotion than she did Paladin Danse?

“You’re dismissed, Knight,” Maxson said without turning around.

 

Him:

Hancock looked up in surprise when he heard a tiny knock on the balcony door. He reached for his .45 as it creaked open, but he slid it back into his red coat when he saw it was Susan. He thought about asking her how she had gotten up here without Nicky announcing her, but then he decided it was futile. It was in her nature to hide in the shadows. 

He stood up from the table, which he kept out here on the balcony all the time now, because what the hell, it was actually real nice having a place to sit and look out on Goodneighbor. He was pleased and grateful that she had returned, but he frowned when he saw her pale cheeks and shocked expression. 

“What is it, sunshine?” Hancock asked her. She bit her lip and just shook her head at him, and he crossed to her and put one arm across her shoulders. He took her cold hand in his and chafed it against his chest. 

Susan slowly turned to meet his gaze. Her eyes were glazed as she said, “Danse is... Is...” she trailed off and swallowed visibly.

“Dead?” Hancock guessed. Shit, crew-cut was all right. He didn’t deserve an early grave.

But Susan shook her head. “No,” she said. “He’s... he’s a synth.” 

Hancock stared at her. She didn’t seem to be joking. “Damn,” was all he said. He didn’t ask her how she knew. She wouldn’t have said it like that if it wasn’t true.

“Yeah,” she said. He just held her for a while as he considered the implications. He thought about saying something but he could tell from that familiar look on her face that she had something else to say. So he shut up. “Maxson ordered me to execute him,” she finally said. Her eyebrows were drawn up in distress.

“Damn,” Hancock said again. “You’re not gonna do it, are ya?” She finally looked at him and it was that ‘don’t be a fuckin’ idiot’ look she’d given him when she snuck up to his balcony the first time. “Didn’t think so,” he told her. “Not after what that crew-cut did for you.”

“Never,” Susan said vehemently. “He’s helped me more than anyone in the Commonwealth except you.”

“What are you gonna do, sunshine?”

She looked lost and confused. “I don’t know. I’m gonna go talk to him tomorrow. But I didn’t sleep last night. Danse stayed at the bomb facility. I had to walk all the way back from the Glowing Sea alone,” she added pathetically. She shivered. “I don’t feel very good.”

“Poor baby,” Hancock crooned. He gently pulled her close. Fuck if it didn’t feel good to have her in his arms. But he pulled away when he suddenly recognized her familiar symptoms. “Did you take some Radaway, girlie?” She had to have gotten irradiated in the Glowing Sea. 

Susan just shook her head, and that was when Hancock realized how badly this had affected her. She was usually so conscientious about that kind of thing.

He went inside and grabbed the chem she needed. When he returned to the balcony, he tried to hand her the bag, but Susan just stretched out her arm towards him and gave him an entreating look. So he deftly threaded in the needle and held the bag while it drained. Then Hancock took her into his arms again. 

Susan let him hold her for a long time. After a while he could feel her starting to relax but he didn’t let her go until she pulled away. “I should go to my room,” she said uncertainly. She must’ve noticed the bed was unavailable. MacCready was still using it as he recovered and Cait had been cuddled up with him when Hancock absconded to the balcony. 

“You want company?” Hancock asked, trying to sound like it didn’t matter to him. 

She gave him a shy smile. “Sure,” she said. 

Hancock escorted her through the State House and to her apartment. Once they were there, she didn’t seem to know what to do. Shit, she was eyeing him like she was afraid he would just jump on her. So Hancock casually walked to the bed and stretched out like the first night they’d ever cuddled. He patted the spot next to him invitingly as he held up his arm and she gave him a sweet, genuine smile.

Susan cuddled into him with a contented sign, her hand on his chest, and Hancock reached over and gently stroked her arm as she relaxed against him. He was just about to ask her if it was his turn, aching to touch her more intimately, when he heard her gentle snores. He chuckled quietly. He thought about trying to slip away, but he couldn’t make himself do it. Instead he let his eyes slide shut. 

When Hancock awoke, she was gone.


	27. "Say Your Goodbyes"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan confronts Danse about what Maxson told her. But it doesn’t go the way the Elder expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More actual game quotes. Hope it’s not overwhelming. I just really wanted to write a different reaction to Maxson than I felt like the game gave me.

Susan crept into Listening Post Bravo. She’d easily taken out the laser turrets on the roof. She picked the lock on a small room to her left and took the ammo she found there out of habit mainly. Her mind was racing as she thought about her upcoming confrontation with Danse. She powered up the elevator and took it down. She took out the two protectrons there, then a machine gun turret. 

She saw the paladin through a window once all the threats were dealt with and she rushed in to see him. She would have thrown herself at him in a hug, but his expression stopped her.

“I’m warning you,” Danse told her without greeting, “if you leave here without following your orders, I’ll be forced to carry them out. Is that what you want? I’m not surprised Maxson sent you. He never liked to do the dirty work himself.”

Susan felt a lump form in her throat. She just stared at him for a long moment. “Why didn’t you tell me, Danse?” she asked him quietly. 

“Because I didn’t know,” he told her. “Until Quinlan got his list decoded I thought synths were the enemy. I never expected to hear that I was one of them. If it wasn’t for Haylen we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. So what are your orders. Does Maxson even want me alive?”

Susan slowly shook her head. “No,” she said bluntly. “But I’m hoping there’s a way out.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Danse said. “Listen, I’m not blind to the fact that we’re good friends and this must be very difficult for you. I wish Maxson had sent someone else.” He paused and then he looked down as he quietly said, “Anyone else.” He took a few deep breaths and continued. “But that doesn’t change a thing. I’m a synth, which means I need to be destroyed. If you disobey orders you’re not only betraying Maxson, you’re betraying the Brotherhood of Steel and everything it stands for. Synths can’t be trusted. Machines were never meant to make their own decisions; they need to be controlled. Technology that’s run amok is what brought the entire world to its knees and humanity to the brink of extinction. I need to be the example, not the exception.” He said it all in a lecturing tone like he was telling her something he knew she already knew.

Susan shook her head. “The empathy that you’re showing me right now… It’s a human emotion!”

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” he replied briskly, “but I’ve made my decision. I’m ready to accept the consequences of my true identity. Maxson ordered you to execute me, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to stand in your way.” He stood up straight and gestured at her, at her shotgun. 

“No,” Susan said flatly. “I won’t do it, Danse.” 

“I can’t believe you’d risk your life to just keep me alive,” he said incredulously. He looked at her like she was from another planet.

“You’re the proof that Maxson is wrong. You’re a synth but everything you’ve done has been for the good of mankind.” She stared at him. “Just think how much you’ve helped me,” she added. 

Danse studied her for a long time. “You’re right,” he said finally. “How could I have been so blind? I’m not technology that’s gone out of control. I’ve been a benefit to mankind, not its downfall.”

Susan smiled, and she thought for a second she’d gotten through to him. But then he put on a kind of wooden, fake-pleasant expression. “Perhaps now that you’ve opened my eyes I can consider my next move,” he said heartily.

The smile slid off her face. Danse was lying. “Yeah, there is that little problem to deal with,” she said cautiously.

“Actually, I might have a solution,” he said. “The only clear choice is for me to leave the Commonwealth. Sooner I make for the border, the sooner I put this all behind me. Take my holotags,” he urged her. Danse pressed them into her hand, and Susan had a feeling like he was giving her one last gift. She frowned at him. “Use them to prove your mission was a success or Maxson will just send someone else to hunt me down. Now come on. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Susan followed him to the exit with a furrowed brow.

Outside, Maxson waited for them. “How dare you betray the Brotherhood!” he said when he saw Susan. She froze. 

“It’s not her fault,” Danse said. “It’s mine.”

“I’ll deal with you in a moment,” Maxson hissed without looking at him. “Knight!” he snapped at Susan. “Why has this... this thing not been destroyed?”

Susan glared at him. “He’s not a thing,” she said hotly. “He’s one of your best men!”

“Danse isn’t a man,” Maxson told her. “It’s a machine… An automaton created by the Institute. It wasn’t born from the womb of a loving mother, it was grown in the cold confines of a laboratory. Flesh is flesh. Machine is machine. The two were never meant to intertwine. By attempting to play God, the Institute has taken the sanctity of human life and corrupted it beyond measure.”

“All I’ve done for the Brotherhood,” Danse said, looking at him sadly, “all the blood I’ve spilled in her name, how can you say that about me?” He looked broken.

“You’re the physical embodiment of what we hate most,” Maxson spat at him. “Technology that’s gone too far. Look around you, Danse, look at the scorched earth and the bones that litter the wasteland. Millions, perhaps even billions died because science outpaced man’s restraint. They called it ‘a new frontier’ and ‘pushing the envelope’, completely disregarding the repercussions.” The elder stared at Danse until he looked down. “Can’t you see the same thing is happening again?” There was a long silence. “You are a single bomb in an arsenal of thousands,” the elder said disdainfully. 

“You’re comparing Danse to a nuclear bomb?” Susan said incredulously. “He wants to save mankind, not destroy it.”

“You’re as delusional as you are insubordinate,” Maxson told her. She frowned at him. “This machine might not be a bomb, but his goal is exactly the same. Place it where you want the damage done, and when you least expect it, it delivers a little blow without warning and without mercy. A precision strike delivered right at the heart of the enemy. How can you trust the word of a machine that thinks it’s alive? A machine that had its mind erased, its thoughts programmed, it’s very soul manufactured. Those ethics that it’s striving to champion aren’t even its own! They were artificially inserted in an attempt to have it blend into society.” 

Susan didn’t know how to respond to that. He was right, but he was also shortsighted and fearmongering. 

Danse replied instead. “It’s true,” he said. “I was built within the confines of a laboratory and some of my memories aren’t my own. But when I saw my brothers dying at my feet, I felt sorrow. When I defeated an enemy of the Brotherhood, I felt pride. And when I heard your speech about saving the Commonwealth, I felt hope.” He stared at Maxson. “Don’t you understand? I thought I was human, Arthur! From the moment I was taken in by the Brotherhood I’ve done absolutely nothing to betray your trust, and I never will.”

“It’s too late for that now,” Maxson said dismissively. “The Institute has foolishly chosen to grant you life. You simply should not exist. I don’t intend to debate this any longer. My orders stand.”

“It’s all right,” Danse said, turning to Susan. The defeated look on his face made her want to cry. “We did our best. You convinced me that I was wrong to be ashamed of my true identity and I thank you for it. Whatever you decide, know that I’m going to my grave with no anger and no regrets.” He looked down. 

“Touching,” Maxson said tauntingly. “Either you execute Danse or I will, Knight. The choice is yours.”

“After all the sacrifices I’ve made and all the battles I fought for the Brotherhood, you need to listen to me,” Susan told him flatly. “You owe me that much.”

The elder’s eyebrow went up. “Very well,” he said finally. “I’m listening.”

“If Danse dies, you lose me too,” Susan told him. “I can’t stay in good conscience if his life means that little to you.”

Maxson glared at her. “Unbelievable,” he said. “You’d be willing to sacrifice your career… For the sake of a machine?” She just stared at him. “So. It appears we’ve arrived at an impasse. Allowing Danse to live undermines everything the Brotherhood stands for, yet you insist that he remains alive. Which leaves me with only a single alternative.”

The elder turned to the paladin. “Danse, as far as I’m concerned, you’re dead,” he said. “You were pursued and slain by this Brotherhood Knight and your remains were incinerated,” he told him. “From this day forward, you are forbidden to step on the Prydwen or speak to anyone from the Brotherhood of Steel. Should you choose to ignore me, know that you’ll be fired upon immediately. Do we understand each other?” 

Danse said, “I do. Thank you for believing in me, Arthur,” he added. 

“Don’t mistake my mercy for acceptance,” the elder said coldly. Susan watched Danse’s face crumple. “The only reason you’re still alive… Is because of her,” he said, pointing his chin at Susan. He turned away from him and towards her. “I’m returning to the Prydwen, Knight. Take some time, say your goodbyes, and then I expect to see you there. We still have the Institute to deal with.” He turned without looking at Danse again, and Susan looked at the ex-paladin. 

Danse was regarding her like they weren’t from the same planet. “It took a hell of a lot of guts to stand up to Maxson like that,” he said.

“Friends take care of each other,” she stated. “No matter what.”

He looked away. “That they do,” he said with fake heartiness, and Susan’s heart sank when she realized he had taken Maxson’s words to heart. “Which is why I decided to stay here. I didn’t plan on spending the rest of my days at this old listening post, but it will have to do.”

Susan knew he was still lying. He was planning to kill himself as soon as she was gone. She gave him an entreating look. “Why don’t you go to Goodneighbor instead?” she said persuasively. Danse looked at her like she was insane. “I know, honey,” she said. “It sounds crazy. But I’d really like to see you when I’m done talking to Maxson. Okay?” 

He studied her for a long time. “Okay,” he said finally.


	28. "World's Always Gonna Have Tyrants"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan tells Elder Maxson how she really feels about his attitude towards Paladin Danse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for all the people like me who felt like the dialogue options for this conversation with Maxson did not include our true feelings.  
> More actual game quotes but with a surprise ending.

“Reporting as ordered, Elder.”

Maxson glared at her but Susan just stared back at him impassively, her arms crossed behind her back. Her power armor was to the side in the room as usual. She had already snuck onto the main deck and spoken with Scribe Haylen. ‘Did you see him?’ the woman had whispered. Susan had nodded and clutched Haylen’s arm. ‘Yes, he’s safe,’ she’d whispered back. She’d shaken the woman before she could start crying. ‘Did you do what I asked you to do?’ And Haylen had nodded. ‘Hope is at the Castle,’ she’d confirmed, and relief had swept through Susan.

“Before we continue,” Maxson said sternly, “I want to make one thing clear. This conversation will be the last time we speak about Danse. As far as the Brotherhood of Steel is concerned, he’s dead. Do you understand?”

“I’ll never understand it,” Susan told him, “but I’m not going to mention it again.”

Maxson nodded. “Then consider this a lesson to reflect upon as your service to the Brotherhood continues. Of course, Danse’s execution creates a missing link in our chain of command. That traitor held quite an important position with us. I’m certain that you’ll be a fine replacement. His quarters and all his possessions are now yours, including his personal suit of power armor.” He stared at her. “Congratulations, Paladin,” he added like he thought she should thank him.

“Body’s not even cold, and you’re already dividing the loot?” Susan replied flatly. 

“To the victor go the spoils,” Maxson told her. “Being a part of the Brotherhood, you should learn to appreciate that sentiment.” He turned away and pulled out a cigar. “Just be aware that a Brotherhood Paladin is expected to be a symbol of integrity to our brothers and sisters. I trust you won’t disappoint them… Or disappoint me.” He cut the end of the cigar off with a snap. His tone held a veiled threat and Susan felt her fists ball up. 

“In any event,” he continued, after lighting the cigar and blowing smoke around the room. “We still have the Institute to contend with and a lot of work to do before we can begin our final result. While the finishing touches…” 

Maxson continued to drone on, but Susan wasn’t really paying attention anymore. She was thinking about what he had said. To the victor go the spoils. But that wasn’t really what she wanted to do, was it? To win? To spoil? Susan wanted the world to be a better place for everyone, not just the victors. A symbol of integrity? She was thinking about how everything she thought she knew about synths had been turned upside down by Paladin Danse. She had been fine with the idea of killing all of the synths in the Institute and even the people if it was for the betterment of the world. But was it? Or was it just for the betterment of the Brotherhood of Steel?

She must have missed her cue to leave, because she was startled out of her thoughts when Elder Maxson loudly said, “Ad victoriam, Paladin.” 

Susan just stood there, staring at him. Finally he turned. “Is there a problem, Paladin?” Maxson asked her. 

“No, no problem,” Susan assured him. She pulled out the cigar she’d stolen from his room earlier. It was already half gone from her siesta on the foredeck. His eyes widened when he recognized it. She pulled out the lighter she’d also stolen and lit the cigar, puffing on it roundly. When it was glowing, she blew the smoke around the command deck with a satisfied sigh. “I’ve always wanted to do that,” she told Maxson. 

The man’s expression changed from shock to anger, his brow drawing down. “What the hell are you doing, soldier?” he asked her, his tone full of disbelief.

“Mind if I have a drink?” she asked, gesturing at the bottle of bourbon sitting on a small table nearby. Susan walked to it and swept up the bottle. 

“I’ve given you your orders,” Maxson snapped. “We aren’t drinking buddies, Paladin. We aren’t friends.”

“We aren’t?” Susan gave him a pout. “You’re breaking my heart over here, Arthur.”

“I'm growing tired of your insubordination,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Yeah,” Susan said. “About that.” She opened the bottle and took a quick swig. 

“Given the circumstances, I'd be willing to overlook this lapse in judgment if you leave now, soldier,” the elder said, and she could tell he was fighting not to shout. She’d never seen him look quite so angry. She took another puff off the cigar as she looked at him. Susan had found him so intimidating at first. The Elder was one of the few men she’d ever met who didn’t look at her like he wondered what she looked like with her clothes off. He looked at her like she was an important piece on the chessboard that’s only value was in what it could do for him, for his game. Like she could be sacrificed if necessary. 

Today, though, Susan didn’t feel intimidated. Maybe it had been looking Hawk in the eyes in the arena, but suddenly Maxson seemed like a giant spoiled child, used to getting his way and controlling every situation. “I don’t think I’ll be following your orders any more, Arthur,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Have you taken leave of your senses?!” Maxson looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. “How dare you speak to me in that tone of voice!”

“I’m just trying to be a symbol of integrity,” Susan told him. “It’s important to stand up to tyrants. My only regret is it took me so long to realize the truth.” Hancock’s words rang in her mind. ‘World's always gonna have tyrants. But I get my way, there'll be a lot less,’ he’d told her. 

The elder took a few threatening steps towards her, but Susan stood her ground. She made the cigar glow and blew the smoke into his face. “That answer's unacceptable, Paladin,” he snarled at her. He looked behind her and she knew he must be looking for the knights that were usually stationed just outside the command deck. But Susan had slipped them each a cigarette and asked them if they could give her and Maxson some privacy. 

So Susan just smiled at him. She took another long drink of bourbon. 

“You’re making a big mistake, soldier,” the elder said softly, his voice full of menace.

Susan dropped the cigar to the floor. She ground it out with her toe. She let go of the bottle and it clanged to the floor, whiskey splashing out as it rolled away. She felt her face curl up into something ugly. “Fuck you,” she spat.

Maxson raised his hands like he was going to grab her throat. His face was full of fury. 

Susan kicked him in the balls as hard as she could, and the man crumpled, groaning. She had her security baton out in a flash. Earlier she had used the Brotherhood’s resources to add a stun pack to it. Maxson got his hand up to block the blow, but the stun still took him to the ground. Susan just stared at him for a few moments. He didn’t look nearly as intimidating now, she thought. Then she turned and dove into her power armor.

She burst out on the flight deck. “I can’t believe Danse was really a synth,” the knight there said to her. “Goddamn traitor.” Susan just brushed past him. She only had a short time before Maxson recovered and sent someone after her. 

The knight at the vertibird hailed her. “Need a bird, General?” he asked genially. 

“Sure, I’d like to go to the Castle,” Susan replied, trying to keep her voice calm. “Can you get one ready for me?” The man turned to start the aircraft and do a pre-flight sequence. As soon as he was facing away, Susan walked to the edge of the boarding platform. She looked out onto the Commonwealth, towards the Castle. It was a stunning view from here. She’d never see it again. She’d never ride in a vertibird again either, she thought to herself. 

Then she jumped off.

Susan landed on the ground below explosively. She looked back up at the Prydwen. “Better on Jet,” she said with a shrug. Then she headed towards home.

Goodneighbor.


	29. "Freaks Gotta Stick Together"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock tells Susan what she needs to do to help Danse come to terms with his new identity. But can she overcome all the reasons why she shouldn't?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay looks like we might get back to smut eventually.

Susan walked up to Hancock, who was standing out on the balcony. “Hey sunshine,” he greeted her. “You gonna tell me what happened on the Prydwen now?” When she had showed up a few hours before, on foot, she looked like she’d been eating nails. When he’d asked her what she’d been doing up there, she’d tightly said, ‘Burning bridges.’ 

“I kicked Elder Maxson in the balls,” Susan admitted. She looked at Hancock out of the corner of her eye as he began to chortle. 

“You fuckin’ kiddin’ me?”

She just shook her head but she had a small smile. “We had an ideological difference.”

“Remind me not to question your ideology, sunshine,” he said, his voice raspy with amusement. “How’s crew-cut doin’? Still losin’ his shit?”

“No. Yeah. I don’t know,” Susan said, shaking her head. “He’s not freaking out like when he first saw me, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me when I tell him I don’t feel any differently about him. He keeps giving me that suspicious look like he’s wondering when I’m going to suddenly turn on him and kill him.”

“Hard to let go of years of indoctrination,” Hancock noted.

“And he already knew I was kind of… Using him before. Manipulating him. So it’s like he doesn’t believe anything I say.” Susan shook her head in frustration. “Why don’t you go talk to him?”

Hancock’s raised his brow. “Why me?”

“I don’t know, I figured… You guys almost have something in common. Kind of.”

“Whaddya mean, sunshine?” Hancock knew exactly what she meant, but shit if he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her blush and stumble her way through it.

She raised her eyebrows at him skeptically. Her lips moved like she was about to say, don’t play stupid, but then she set her jaw. “He’s a synth, you’re a ghoul. I don’t know.”

“You mean, we freaks gotta stick together?” Hancock chuckled.

“Yeah, kinda,” Susan said defensively. “I mean, I think of myself as a freak, too, but not everybody gets to see it, you know? I just thought you, you know, could understand…” Hancock just shook his head at her. “Why are you making this so hard for me?” she asked through clenched teeth. 

She rolled her eyes when he just smirked, and she made the universal symbol for a cigarette with her fingers in a V in front of her mouth. Hancock made the same symbol, with a questioning look, and then waggled his tongue at her through the V. Susan snorted a laugh.

“Listen, sunshine,” Hancock said as he passed her a lit cigarette. “One freak to another. That’s how I know the problem with ol’ crew-cut in there ain’t somethin’ I can help with. You’re the only one can fix what ails him.”

Susan looked troubled. Her brow was swept together and she bit her lip. “I’m not some silver-tongue on demand,” she said.

“Ain’t ya? Heard you talked Dr. Madison Li herself right outta under the noses of the Institute. You had that crew-cut eatin’ outta your hand behind my back,” Hancock chortled, remembering her blushes when she had told him. “You still got everyone in the Commonwealth on the edge of their seats waitin’ to see what you’re gonna do. Convincing one sad soldier boy that life’s worth livin’ can’t be much of a stretch.”

“I don’t have a mask for this situation,” Susan told him. “Sure, I’ve talked a lot of people into a lot of things since I’ve been here. But this… I mean… what do I say? How can I tell him anything when he doesn’t believe a thing I say and he keeps expecting me to carry out Maxson’s orders to kill him?”

“Nothin’ you can say, probably,” Hancock agreed.

Susan did a double-take. “You just told me I was the only one who could help him!”

“Yeah,” he agreed again. He just looked at her. She took a long drag off the cigarette, looking puzzled, and Hancock chuckled as he lit one for himself.

“What?” Susan said irritably. “I don’t see anything funny about this. Not remotely.”

“You know, sunshine, after everything you’ve been through, done, had done to ya, good, bad, and unforgettable, you are still unquestionably naïve sometimes.” She looked at him like he had insulted her horribly. “Utterly,” he added.

“There were some ten cent words in there,” she said icily. “Got any more?”

“I got a couple four-letter words you can feel free to use,” Hancock offered generously, not sure he understood her reference. 

“Like what,” Susan said dismissively, taking a few steps away as she hit her cigarette, shaking her head.

“Fuck, actually, probably the only one ya need.”

She turned back and frowned at him.

Hancock grinned at her. “You know, Susan,” he said. “You are so goddamned dense sometimes.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Much as I love our game,” she said hotly. “I really want the truth!”

“All right, sunshine, all right.” He took a long drag off his cigarette as he regarded her blazing eyes and flushed cheeks. Fuck, she was beautiful when she was angry. Probably why he delighted in riling her up so much, actually. 

“That crew-cut in there feels like he’s a monster,” Hancock told her. “He’s spent the better part of his life feelin’ like it was his job to rid the world of all the monsters. Now he feels like it’s his job to rid the world of himself. You can’t convince him any different. All YOU can do,” he said, gesturing at her with the cigarette, “Is show him he ain’t a monster.”

“How do I do that?”

Hancock raised his brow at her. “How’d you do it with me?”

Susan looked surprised, then her face went all soft, her gaze tender as she looked at him. “I guess I didn’t realize I did.” She paused. “How did I do that again?”

“You just gotta show him he’s a man,” Hancock said, “then he’ll know he ain’t a monster.” Shit, was he gonna have to spell it out for her?

Susan cocked her head at him. He waited patiently. She was bright. She was just a little slow when she was worked up. She’d get there.

Suddenly her eyes and mouth went round. “Oh!” she said. Her cheeks reddened and she turned away.

“Yeah, sunshine. You gotta help him find his manhood, ya dig?”

She turned back to him, her face full of incredulity. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she choked out. Hancock shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a boyfriend…” she hesitated over the word and he gave her a little nod like it was fine by him. “I’ve never had a boyfriend tell me to fuck some other guy.”

“Yeah, well, they broke the mold when they made me, girlie,” he said modestly.

“Are you serious about this?”

“I ain’t some jealous type,” Hancock told her. “I saw what you did for MacCready. Yeah, you see sad, envious Mac, but you didn’t see how different he was from before he met you. He was just gettin’ by. Now he’s feelin’ things. And I know what you did for me. So why don’t you go sit on that freak’s lap and show him we freaks gotta stick together.”

“I don’t know,” she said. Her face was clouded with doubts. “I feel like I want to ask you if you’re serious again. You seemed jealous enough of Danse when I surprised you that night. You really want me to go fuck him now?”

“Mouth hug might do the trick,” he said with a shrug. “Figured I’d leave the details up to you.”

“You’re crazy,” she informed him.

Hancock looked out over Goodneighbor. He hit his cigarette. “I ain’t singin’,” he informed her. 

“Now I really wanna ask you if you’re serious again.”

“Lemme ask you a question instead,” Hancock said. 

Susan rolled her eyes. “More questions? If we’re gonna cut each other up more, I need a drink first.” She looked at him pointedly.

“You just tryna prove you can remember more of mine than I can yours?” Hancock chuckled, but he got her a bottle of bourbon. She took a few long swigs and he handed her another cigarette.

“Go on then,” she said after a minute. 

“You ever think about gettin’ outta your power armor and showin’ soldier boy your freak side up in that tin can?” Hancock asked bluntly. 

Susan snorted a laugh, shaking her head. She blew smoke at him. “Yeah,” she admitted. “Sometimes.”

“Why didn’t ya?”

“Lots of reasons, I guess,” Susan said, a small frown creasing her forehead.

“Like what?” She pursed her lips. “Humor me, dol... Sunshine.”

“You can call me doll if you want,” she said quietly.

“Don’t think I can, actually,” Hancock told her gently. “So tell me why you didn’t do it.”

Susan looked troubled. “I had just been assaulted.”

“Damn good reason,” Hancock said, nodding. “Think you woulda got over that at some point?”

“Yeah, probably,” she said. The shy smile she gave him was damned encouraging for his future hopeful endeavors, Hancock noted. 

“What else?” he urged.

“Well, I have my… Problem.” 

Hancock’s eyes went wide as he thought about what they’d done in the VIP room just a few hours before the incident, the last time they’d been together in that way. “What problem?” was all he said. Susan rewarded him with a chuckle and a tiny blush. He nodded at her to continue.

She twisted her lips. “He was so… Awkward. He acted like he was afraid to touch me when we were alone. Not like you,” she added.

“You think he would’ve worked up the courage at some point?” She shrugged. “What else?”

“You,” Susan said pointedly. She pulled the chain out from under her shirt, showing him the ring. “This.”

“I know where you’re comin’ from, sunshine. I felt the same way. But do you think that would’ve stopped you forever?” 

Susan studied Hancock like she was wondering what answer he wanted. “I guess... probably not,” she said finally.

“Anything else?

She looked down. She seemed to be trying to figure out what he was getting at. “Just some bullshit reasons, I guess. He was never clean. We were never alone. There’s no real privacy on the Prydwen. We kept busy. Didn’t want the title of ‘Minuteman General’ to go down in history as being synonymous with ‘slut’.” She shrugged.

Hancock whistled. “Damn, girlie. You really musta wanted him if you came up with that many reasons why you couldn’t jump him.”

“Hancock,” she said. 

“Call me John,” he reminded her. “You said it, sunshine. Just a buncha bullshit, right?”

“If you’re trying to get me to say I would have eventually fucked him I think I already pretty much said I would’ve, John.” Susan looked frustrated. 

Hancock held up his hand. “One more question,” he said. Susan took a theatrical drink of whiskey and gestured at him with the bottle. 

“Think about all those feelings you had about him, all the bullshit you woulda got over. Now throw in that he’s a synth.” Hancock waited while her expression shifted. “Change anything?”

Susan gave it some real thought instead of just popping off with whatever she thought, which was part of her problem, in Hancock’s opinion. But he let her ponder in silence for a few moments.

“Yes,” she said finally. He gave her a look like he wasn’t sure he believed her. “It would,” she insisted. She fixed him with her green gaze. “It made a difference with you at first. That you were a ghoul. I’d never even seen one before I came out of the vault. You were the first non-feral I even met. It took me some time to wrap my head around it.” She paused. “I even asked Amari if it was... safe.”

“Can believe that,” Hancock chuckled, “Ever the scientist.” She was almost there. He waited. 

“But I guess if I had been up on the Prydwen with Danse long enough and I had all those reasons, him being a synth would’ve ended up in the bullshit category at some point,” Susan said finally. 

“Right,” Hancock said. “Now how many people in the Commonwealth you think could say that was true?”

He took the bottle from her and helped himself to a long drink of whiskey as Susan pondered his words. “I guess probably not very many,” she replied thoughtfully. 

“That tells me you’re the best medicine for that crew-cut,” Hancock informed her. 

Susan’s expression had changed from skeptical towards considering. But after a moment she shook her head. “I don’t know. Part of me feels like you’re just fucking with me.”

Hancock shrugged. “Be happy to do that, too, sunshine,” he told her, his voice a husky purr. Susan gave him a startled laugh. 

“What exactly am I supposed to do? Just go grab him and drag him back to my room and jump on him?” She shook her head again.

“Do this,” Hancock suggested, and he did what he’d wanted to do since she showed up. He flicked his smoke away and put down the bottle. He took her hand and pulled her into his arms. He put a palm on her cheek and turned her face to his so he could kiss her, gently, taking care not to touch her neck. When she responded eagerly, opening her mouth to let him inside, he ran gentle fingers down her back, her arms, anywhere he could touch her. It had been far too long since he’d gotten to touch her. Hancock showed her with every fiber of his being how much he had missed her. 

When she pulled away, looking dazed, he smiled. “That might work,” Susan said breathlessly. 

“Want me to drag that crew-cut to your place and throw him in the shower for ya?”

“Actually,” she said, her eyes were glazed with lust. “I want you.”

“Oh yeah?” Hancock growled. Apparently he’d done his job too well. “Shame you’re not wearin’ a dress,” he added. Although the blacks she wore made her appealing in other ways. 

Susan just wrapped her arms around him and kissed him greedily. “I missed you,” she said. 

“It’s mutual,” he told her. “Come on.” He pulled her inside. Danse was in Hancock’s bedroom; Mac was sitting with him on the couch, and they were chatting. They both looked up as Hancock and Susan entered.

“Come on, crew-cut. Got somethin’ might make ya feel better.” Danse looked at Susan, who nodded. He got up obediently. “Mac, Susan needs a Christmas present, ya feel me?” Both she and the sniper looked at him like he was insane. 

Hancock just chuckled as he led Danse down the stairs. Why not? Hell, he was feeling downright charitable today.


	30. "Mind If I Take a Look"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Hancock's help, Susan shows Danse he’s not a monster in the only way she knows how.

Susan sat down next to MacCready in Hancock’s bedroom. She was feeling buzzed from too much whiskey after weeks of sobriety and stunned by her conversation with Hancock. 

“What’s he doing?” Mac asked curiously. 

“I think he’s taking Danse to my apartment to scrub him down so he’ll be clean when I fuck him,” Susan said. She laughed incredulously.

“Oh,” Mac said. He nodded. “Sounds like something Hancock would do.” Susan looked at him with wide eyes. “Well, he did it to me that first night,” he informed her. “Dragged me to the tub and growled that you liked your men clean.” 

Susan giggled in astonishment. Hancock really was something else. He listened to everything she said. Even off the cuff shit.

“So, about that Christmas present?” Mac said. 

Susan couldn’t help but smile as she studied him slumped in the couch. “Considering what happened on Christmas, it’s hard to tell exactly what he meant.” 

“I guess that’s true,” Mac said, staring off into space as if it was an insurmountable problem. 

She giggled again. She hit the Jet when he handed her a cartridge and felt herself relaxing. Soon he sat up and turned to face her. She opened her mouth to his hesitant kisses. 

They were kissing tenderly, twined around each other on the couch, when Hancock returned. “Dammit, Mac,” he said when he saw their innocent embrace. “Don’t know how you ever get laid at all.”

He dropped to his knees on the floor and unbuckled her thigh holster then unfastened her pants. She passively watched in amazement as he pulled them down just to her knees, and Susan let him push her legs up so he could lick her. She gasped when his tongue touched her. 

Oh, it had been too long. She let her knees fall apart as much as she could still wearing the pants, as Hancock kissed her there, her eyes closing. Mac’s mouth fastened on hers, his strong hand on her face. 

She’d been so afraid she wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything like this again after what had happened. But Hancock was so matter-of-fact about everything. He read her like a book. He never tried to push his fingers inside her. He just held her with gentle fingertips and used his skilled tongue. 

When she climaxed, gasping into Mac’s mouth, Hancock barely let her finish. He pulled her to her feet and pulled up her pants. 

Susan clung to him. “Are we really doing this?” she managed. 

Hancock paused. He wrapped his arms around her. “Only if you want to, sunshine,” he purred. She blinked at him. 

“Why are you acting like this?” she asked him. “What’s the big rush?”

Hancock took a deep breath. He gently rubbed her hip. “Crew-cut’s worth savin’,” he said. “That idiot saved my life in the Zone. He taught you what you needed to know to feel safe. He needs help, urgent like. You can help him. And you’ll never stop thinkin’ bout him if you don’t get it outta your system, sunshine,” he told her. “Plus once I start showin’ you a good time again you ain’t gonna wanna take on charity cases,” he winked. 

Susan gave him a chuckle of disbelief, and Hancock finished dressing her and tugged her along with him to her apartment. “I’ll be in shoutin’ distance,” he told her as he pushed her in the door. “Have fun,” he added.

Danse sat on the bed. He was pulling on his black shirt when he saw her. He paused, then finished dressing. But Susan had seen his muscular bare chest. He looked as confused as she felt. 

“I’m not sure what just happened,” he told her. “I think Hancock just...” He broke off, shaking his head.

“Yeah,” Susan said empathetically. “I know the feeling.” They stared at each other. 

“Are you going to kill me now?” Danse sounded like it was inevitable.

“No, honey,” she told him, shaking her head. She took a few steps towards him. “I’m not gonna kill you.” He stared at her. “Can I sit next to you?”

He nodded and she sat down. She put her arm around his shoulders. “You okay, sweetie?” she asked him. She felt a hitch in her as she realized Hancock had been right. That smug asshole. 

Danse looked at her like he was still afraid she’d kill him any second. But Susan just smiled reassuringly at him. She moved in slowly for a kiss like she had on the Prydwen. 

“Susan,” he said. He paused. “I’m a synth,” he said. He sounded confused.

“I know, honey,” Susan purred reassuringly. She stroked his cheek, running her nails through the stubble. 

Danse looked at her like he didn’t believe her. “Were you about to kiss me?” he asked her, his brow furrowing.

“Yes,” she said. “Do you want me to?”

He looked like he didn’t know what the right answer was. Susan just raised one eyebrow. “Yes?” he said tentatively. 

“Good,” she informed him. 

“But I’m a synth,” he reminded her. “A machine.”

“I didn’t forget, honey,” Susan told him. 

“I’m not a man,” he said, his face turning down.

“You are a synth, and you are a machine, and you are a man,” she said matter of factly. “These things are not mutually exclusive.” 

He looked at her then, and she fastened her mouth to his. They kissed for a few minutes, and Susan felt the world slip away as she hungrily helped herself to what she’d never let herself enjoy on the Prydwen. The clean, masculine scent of him filled her nose as she played with his lips and tongue with hers.

When she pulled away to study his reaction, he looked at her like she was a different species. Which was true, now that she thought about it. “Susan. You kissed me,” Danse said, and he sounded almost accusing. 

“Yes, sweetie,” she smiled. 

“But I’m a synth,” he reminded her. “I’m not a real person.”

Susan just kissed him again. “You’re a person to me,” she told him. 

“What about Hancock?” he asked. 

Susan laughed. “He knows I’m here,” she said simply. Danse stared at her. “I’m assuming he pushed you into the shower?”

He nodded, but he wasn’t looking at her. “He stripped my clothes off,” Danse said in disbelief. “I just... let him. It all happened so quickly. He distracted me by saying something crazy and the next thing I knew I was in the shower.” 

Susan chuckled knowingly, nodding. “Yeah, that happens. What did he say?”

“He said, ‘Always wondered what kinda package the Institute put on you fellas. Mind if I take a look?” Susan chortled. “I tried to push him away at one point and he told me...” Danse hesitated. “He told me you were going to come and you would make me feel better. But I didn’t believe him,” he added. “Then I was in the shower.” He looked so disoriented. Susan’s heart went out to him. 

“Well, maybe you should have believed him. Hancock doesn’t lie,” she said, looking him in the eyes. Danse didn’t protest when she pushed him down into his back. He was still looking at her like he thought she was just waiting for the right opportunity to kill him, though.

Susan slid on top of him. She caressed his face with her hands, purring in his ear. The paladin just watched her like he thought it was all too good to be true.

“Listen, honey,” she told him, thinking of the way Hancock always made her feel more comfortable. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But I’d really like to show you how much you mean to me.” She pressed her pelvis into his. 

“But Susan,” Danse said, breathless from the feel of her pressed against him. “This is wrong. I’m a synth. I’m a freak!”

“I know, honey,” she whispered. “I still want you.”

“You do?” 

Susan could tell he wanted to believe it. “Yes,” she said. “Remember that day on the Prydwen before you went to the Combat Zone? Remember what I told you?”

Danse swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “You said you were… into freaks.”

“That’s right,” Susan told him, and when she kissed him again, she tried to show him how true it was with every movement of her body. 

When they finally broke apart, the paladin looked at her like he had that night at the hospital. Like she was from another planet. “Susan, you shouldn’t do that. I’m a machine. I’m not a person,” he told her flatly. “You need a man. I’m not a man.”

“Yes you are,” Susan told him. “You are a synth and you are a person. You are a man.” She slid down him, unfastening his black pants. “I’m gonna show you,” she informed him. Danse looked alarmed. “Listen,” she told him as she sat back up, straddling him. “How does this feel?” She pressed against him. 

“Good,” he managed. He slid his hands onto her hips. 

“Do you think some machine could feel like that?” she asked him.

“I don’t know,” he said, a puzzled frown on his face.

“Do you really think I wanna kill you?” 

He didn’t look at her. “I don’t know,” Danse said again. He looked lost.

“Are you afraid of me, honey?” Susan purred, stroking his face gently.

“No. Maybe,” he said. He swallowed. “I feel like… Like I’m a monster, and I should want you to kill me.” His voice sounded broken, but his hands tightened on her hips. 

Susan decided to take a chance. “I could kill you whenever I wanted to, sweetheart,” she informed him. She slid her combat knife out of its thigh holster. She showed it to him. “Would you let me kill you right now if I wanted to? Think about how good it feels,” she urged him. She ground her pelvis into his. “Would you let me kill you right here?” she said. She put the knife flat side down against his throat, lightly, teasingly. She held her breath. A long moment went by.

“Yes,” Danse whispered. His eyes fluttered shut. 

“I thought so,” she purred. “So, you don’t have anything to worry about, do you?” She ground her pelvis against him just enough to make him groan. “My logic is unassailable,” she informed him as she put the knife away. 

“Susan,” was all he said. 

She slid down him as promised, pushing his underwear down. “Yes, honey,” she replied, her deft fingers manipulating him. She wrapped her mouth around him. Danse groaned inarticulately. It didn’t take long before he was gasping and half trying to push her away. He said her name again in disbelief. 

“Yes, honey,” Susan purred, barely stopping. She brushed away his fluttering hands. She brought him hard, moaning her name, his eyes open now as he looked at her like he didn’t know what she was. 

When she was finished, Danse just lay there sprawled out in astonishment, his chest heaving. She curled up next to him, feeling smugly satisfied. 

“What am I, Susan?” he said, and she felt a rush of relief they’d moved on from, ‘I’m a monster, I’m not a person.’

“You’re a man,” she told him. She wrapped her arms around him and repeated herself. 

“I’m a man,” Danse said finally, and Susan purred her satisfaction as she held him tightly. 

Hancock had been right, as usual. He’d probably be too smug to even say ‘I told you so.’ He’d just smirk at her. 

Susan pulled Danse up higher on the bed after a few minutes, cuddling up next to him with her arm wrapped around him. She held him until his breathing evened out and he began to snore.

Then Susan slipped out and headed down the stairs. Hancock was waiting for her at Kill or be Killed. He lit her a cigarette and she took a deep drag, exhaling out into the night. 

“How’d it go?” he asked. 

“Okay,” she said. “I went with the mouth hug.” 

Hancock nodded wisely. “Ya think he’s gonna be okay?”

“I guess I don’t really see how one blowjob could fix anyone,” she replied drily. 

“Never underestimate the power of good head, girlie,” Hancock purred in her ear. 

Susan snorted a laugh. She decided she liked her new pet name. “I feel like I didn’t think this through. What happens now? Do you think he’s going to want some kind of relationship?” She felt her cheeks grow warm. “I already kind of feel like a slut now. How many guys can you fuck around with before people start thinking you’re a slut?” 

“Proud slut right here,” Hancock told her. He poked her in the ribs. “Let your freak flag fly, sunshine. I think it’d be a good thing for the world to have the title Minuteman General go down in history as synonymous with copious amounts of freaky fucking.”

Susan’s silvery laughter rang out into the still night. “Well, then,” she said, speechless once again as they headed back to the State House.

Hancock had that effect on her.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote a smut now. I mean, I guess that was always the point, I just couldn’t make myself jump right in and write that without giving Hancock and Susan a little pre-relationship history. Anyway, if you want the back story, that’s in part 1, but TL;DR is Susan came out into the Commonwealth fresh from surgery and was about to drink herself to death when she learned about her son, but Hancock helped her turn things around; she's all healed up now and Hancock is about to show her what kind of man… Errr, ghoul… He really is.


End file.
